[Ask a Girl] Is it possible to teach yourself...

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by CreamyJustice, Nov 9, 2012.

  1. CreamyJustice

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    ...how to have a vaginal orgasm? Normally I need lots of clitoral stimulation and when I cum, I can then quickly penetrate my vagina in order to squirt. But it doesnt seem as if strictly vaginal does it for me. I mean I get riled up, but no pending orgasm in sight.

    Just wondering if it can be 'learned'?
     
  2. vKane

    vKane New Member

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    Hi CJ,
    My wife's orgasms were triggered strictly by direct clitoral stimulation for years, and although she very much enjoyed penetration could not reach orgasm by the frictional in and out thrusting of intercourse alone.

    When we began using the coital alignment technique (by keeping my penis deep inside and staying high on her pubis and rocking and grinding against her entire mons) we found rhythmic compression caused by simultaneous pressure from inside and out while rocking would get her off quite readily.

    I am thinking this works for many women because in addition to incidental stimulation of the clitoral glans (what we see above the vaginal opening) the non visible legs of the clitoris and vestibule get more direct pressure/stimulation with this technique. Look up "clitoral anatomy" @ Wiki (File:Clitoris anatomy labeled-en.svg - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) or others for a good illustration. Many people are unaware the clitoris is much more complex than what we see externally and that the legs extend downward along the sides of the vaginal barrel. The fact is that women have just as much erectile tissue as we men do - only most is concealed and we can only see the "tip of the iceberg" so to speak.

    When my wife and I got heavily into tantric exploration and learned to slow down and really revel in the moment it became apparent just how important it is to take the time to make sure your woman is fully warmed up and has enough of the right stimulation to get fully engorged. You can tell when you have it right as her vulva will almost "blush" as the increased bloodflow into the region changes the color of the tissues and she will almost open up like a flower in bloom as she become engorged. Think of it like this - how much pleasure would you receive as a man if your cock wasn't hard? It is the same way with women only not as easy to see.

    When I made sure she was totally warmed up and fully engorged before I put my cock inside her her entire vaginal barrel including the urethral sponge and "G" spot area came alive in a big way. Her sensitivity was much increased and by alternating deep rocking with slow deliberate thrusting right across her "G" spot she had her first "squirting" orgasms and over time it seems her nervous system has rewired itself and she now prefers to trigger her orgasms in this way.

    My wife still gets her rocks off via direct clit stimulation (usually cunnilingus) but I have had to raise my game and spend more time on foreplay to really get her in gear and spend less time working directly on her nubbin and more diverse stimulation to the entire vulva. She really likes the "Venus Flytrap" (where you stimulate the "G" spot with fingers or a toy while you lick right on the nubbin).

    Long story short I think it is possible for you to learn this - especially if you have a partner motivated to explore with you in this way. The fact that you have figured out how to make yourself squirt shows you are well on your way. The key is to slow down and not force it by going for a quick orgasm but instead gently cultivate increased engorgement while relaxing into the sensations as you explore a new connection with your vagina.

    Good luck!

    vK
     
  3. 12barblues

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    Well said. And very true. Very nice first post by the way...
     
  4. Dragon_Fire

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    I went via an indirect route. I accidentally discovered that I could orgasm from nipple stimulation, then ears, throat,wrist and whatever we decided to focus on. The more my body became accustomed to orgasm, the easier it became, including vaginally. I didn't try this technique or that technique, this position or that position. It just was a natural progression for me. Now I hold myself back from cumming the second he enters.
     
  5. CreamyJustice

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    Thanks vK, I'm going to definitely look into the CAT. I love penetration as well but my hubby doesn't feel that I do because I dont climax from it alone. But I know that many women have this problem. Hopefully we can change that.

    It was interesting to find out that I have extremely sensitive nipples. My hubby couldn't believe how wet I became. I often wonder if I can climax on nipple stim alone. Seems, I have a lot of homework, lol.

    Thanks guys
     
  6. sandwich

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    I think you can teach yourself just about anything. And as they say, practice makes perfect. I am not the right person to answer your question, though, because I can't say I had to teach myself, and because of that I couldn't give you a step by step how to since I have never thought about it that way. I know, however, that there are plenty of women who have had to learn how, so hopefully you will get some good words of advise here. I hope you work it out!
     
  7. sabian

    sabian New Member

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    Wow....thanks, My wife has the same problem. We alway need to finish with oral or some other type of Vag. stim, because she can not orgams with penitration only. But will for sure give this a try. This would be earth shattering..haha. thanks!