Is it cheating?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by simplytheone, Mar 22, 2015.

  1. simplytheone

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    So about a year ago I said to hubby I want and need sex and he said he can't give it to me so I said I am going elsewhere to get sex so he said fine. So my question is this-if he said fine is it cheating if I get sex elsewhere?
     
  2. HotForHoney

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    In a situation like that, every relationship is different.

    I think it comes down to how will it effect your relationship if you do get sex elsewhere and is it worth it more than defining "cheating".
     
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  3. simplytheone

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    Actually the real wake up call for him was when I texted him the night before Valentine's Day and said I wouldn't be home. He knew I spent the night in a hotel with another man and I think he finally realized that the possibility of losing me was very real and decided that maybe he needs to start actually paying attention to me. He has started to give me a kiss goodbye before he leaves to either go to work or go to play pool and of course it is these little things that matter almost more than sex. And I also showed him that we can make out and it is nice and it doesn't mean that we have to jump into bed
     
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  4. lucky5338

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    It is nice to be wanted. :)
     
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  5. lbushwalker

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    Of course it is cheating because fine meant "whatever", I don't really care but then you did and then everything changed!
    Moral of the story; never push a lover to do what he/she threatens.
     
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  6. BlueCollar

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    I don't know if I'd call it cheating. I think the definition of cheating would be fucking someone else behind his back, without his knowledge.
    You weren't getting it at home and you, unlike a lot of people, went to your husband and said if you're not gonna do it, I'll find someone who will. That takes honesty. And guts.
    Most people say fuck it and just do it behind their SO's back.
     
  7. Meee

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    These are two different stories. But let's start with the first one. Why "can't" he give you sex?
     
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  8. simplytheone

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    He originally said that he had no sex drive, but I have realized in the last month or so that he does have a sex drive but he is scared as hell because the last couple of times that we have made love he has had chest pains because of he needs to have a heart valve replaced. And what he said is I want to give you sex but I can't. Now I know it's not because of a lack of sex drive but because he doesn't want to drop dead, which I appreciate it. We are also taking baby steps and trying to work on our marriage.
     
  9. Alwayslearningsex

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    From what I read it would be cheating, you need to work with him at the moment.
     
  10. Meee

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    Thank you for the explanation.

    This thread is moot. The story has moved on since the adultery over a month ago. The original poster now knows more than she allowed us to know when she set up her question. Her question is out of date.
     
  11. HotForHoney

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    I take back my answer. It's cheating.
    You took vows in sickness and health. I think you are selfish if he can't give you sex because of a medical condition.
     
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  12. simplytheone

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    You know what, never mind, I never even should have asked the question the first dam place and if I could figure out how to delete the post then I would do it in a heart beat
     
  13. lucky5338

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    Lets not be judgemental about this. There are many here in permanent relationships who come here and flirt. I think most have made mistrakes at some time of their lives, myself included. We can be as moralistic as we like but first make sure we are in a position to judge others. :)
     
  14. HotForHoney

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    OP's question was "is it cheating?", given the facts, I now think it is.
    I'm not judging, I gave my opinion.
     
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  15. BlueCollar

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    So he had a medical condition instead of being a dick and simply not giving it up...
    I too feel like my previous post was wrong...
    OP should've given all the details.
    Fucking somebody else bc your SO is not willing to fuck you is one thing. Fucking somebody else bc your SO has a medical condition and can't fuck you is something else entirely.
    Seems selfish.
    And before you get upset about our posts/opinions, remember you, OP, asked for opinions.
    I just wish we had the whole story before we posted.
     
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  16. simplytheone

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    Maybe I did a shitty ass job explaining the situation, but you know what. If you are on a sex site and talking dirty with someone other than your SO and looking at naked pics of someone who isn't your SO then I guess by everyone's standards every person on here with a SO that isn't also on here is cheating on their SO. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Now I'm done.
     
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  17. Sweetlysad

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    In my opinion its not cheating. Medical condition or not at the end of the day he gave you permission to fill your sexual desires elsewhere.
    You obvious had concerns that it would be considered cheating or you wouldn't have asked the question. Don't take the comments personally, we don't always agree with others opinions.
     
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  18. simplytheone

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    Thank you
     
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  19. HotForHoney

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    You were the one who asked for judgement, so we "threw stones". We didn't ask your opinion of our relationships so you have no right to "throw stones" back.

    You don't know if we have open relationships, permission, if our SO's are on the site or if we give them full access to our accounts.

    I seriously hope your husband recovers fully. And then sees you for who you are.
     
  20. lbushwalker

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    Yes; horny!
     
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