Inventive names for masturbating

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by MrJones, May 6, 2015.

  1. MrJones

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    I just read an on line article about creative names for masturbating. One of my favorites for women was "Jilling Off."

    How creative are you? What do you call it?
     
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  2. HotForHoney

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    Someone just told me he was going into their shop to play with his wood.

    I prefer quality time with Harvey
     
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  3. MrJones

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    I've always called it my hobby.
     
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  4. arugula

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    The slang is legion for guys, no doubt invented in junior high school during the testosterone storm of adolescence:

    Beating the meat
    Polishing the tusk
    Stroking the oar
    Choking the chicken
    Milking the lizard
    Flogging the bishop
    Cuffing the carrot
    Spanking the monkey
    Jerkin' the gherkin'
    Buffing the banana
    Visiting Rosy Palm and her five daughters
    .
    .
    .

    I'm only familiar with a few for the ladies:

    Flicking the bean
    Polishing the pearl
    Petting the kitty
    Flat-handing it

    I'm sure there are many more creative terms out there!
     
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  5. Tonystarkxxx

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    All classics although I must say a few were new to me!!

    Watching the show "the league" recently my wife noted and laughed that she'd never heard of "flicking the bean". I was a little surprised!
     
  6. billytk1977

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    I tell my wife i need to shake hands with myself
     
  7. BlueCollar

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    Quality time
    A little Self improvement
    Sayin hi to my monster
    Running off a batch.
     
  8. MissScarlett

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    Some I've heard (not that I use all these):

    Buff the muff
    Butter the biscuit
    Feed the bearded clam
    Dip the digits
    Diddling
    Brushing the beaver
    Auditioning the finger puppets
    Strumming the banjo
    Tending to Mary


    I'm sure I'll think of some more as well
     
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  9. Clintriprock

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    Gentleman time
     
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  10. Sweetlysad

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    I call it masturbating lol!
    If I am talking to a guy I might say stroking :)
     
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  11. woodster

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    self pleasure plain and simple
     
  12. sssssss

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    I just "whack it off"
     
  13. WC1989

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    I'm very inventive and just call it "play".
     
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  14. 10_3XL

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    I'm not creative, I either describe it as "personal time" or I just call it like it is and say "masturbating."
     
  15. Meee

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    Ouch. Does it grow back?

    I call it masturbating. I like the word masturbation. Some people say it's a naughty and censorable word, so I like it. I also call it "making myself suffer," and basically the opposite, "getting some relief."
     
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  16. lbushwalker

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    Wanking is all :)
     
  17. Alwayslearningsex

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