Inventive names for masturbating

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by MrJones, May 6, 2015.

  1. MrJones

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2015
    Messages:
    7,943
    Likes Received:
    5,931
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Jersey
    I just read an on line article about creative names for masturbating. One of my favorites for women was "Jilling Off."

    How creative are you? What do you call it?
     
    Tonystarkxxx likes this.
  2. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    17,485
    Likes Received:
    18,722
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    Someone just told me he was going into their shop to play with his wood.

    I prefer quality time with Harvey
     
    sssssss and MrJones like this.
  3. MrJones

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2015
    Messages:
    7,943
    Likes Received:
    5,931
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Jersey
    I've always called it my hobby.
     
    billytk1977 likes this.
  4. arugula

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2010
    Messages:
    353
    Likes Received:
    897
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    US northeast
    The slang is legion for guys, no doubt invented in junior high school during the testosterone storm of adolescence:

    Beating the meat
    Polishing the tusk
    Stroking the oar
    Choking the chicken
    Milking the lizard
    Flogging the bishop
    Cuffing the carrot
    Spanking the monkey
    Jerkin' the gherkin'
    Buffing the banana
    Visiting Rosy Palm and her five daughters
    .
    .
    .

    I'm only familiar with a few for the ladies:

    Flicking the bean
    Polishing the pearl
    Petting the kitty
    Flat-handing it

    I'm sure there are many more creative terms out there!
     
    Tonystarkxxx likes this.
  5. Tonystarkxxx

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2014
    Messages:
    192
    Likes Received:
    354
    Gender:
    Male
    All classics although I must say a few were new to me!!

    Watching the show "the league" recently my wife noted and laughed that she'd never heard of "flicking the bean". I was a little surprised!
     
  6. billytk1977

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2015
    Messages:
    999
    Likes Received:
    950
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Metropolitan
    I tell my wife i need to shake hands with myself
     
  7. BlueCollar

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2014
    Messages:
    2,214
    Likes Received:
    3,247
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Eastern us
    Quality time
    A little Self improvement
    Sayin hi to my monster
    Running off a batch.
     
  8. MissScarlett

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2013
    Messages:
    3,801
    Likes Received:
    6,391
    Gender:
    Female
    Some I've heard (not that I use all these):

    Buff the muff
    Butter the biscuit
    Feed the bearded clam
    Dip the digits
    Diddling
    Brushing the beaver
    Auditioning the finger puppets
    Strumming the banjo
    Tending to Mary


    I'm sure I'll think of some more as well
     
    arugula likes this.
  9. Clintriprock

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2012
    Messages:
    362
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Male
    Gentleman time
     
    MrJones likes this.
  10. Sweetlysad

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2013
    Messages:
    19,303
    Likes Received:
    48,647
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    In your dreams ;)
    I call it masturbating lol!
    If I am talking to a guy I might say stroking :)
     
    MrJones likes this.
  11. woodster

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Messages:
    629
    Likes Received:
    583
    Gender:
    Male
    self pleasure plain and simple
     
  12. sssssss

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2014
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    278
    Gender:
    Male
    I just "whack it off"
     
  13. WC1989

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2012
    Messages:
    527
    Likes Received:
    4,939
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    West Virginia
    I'm very inventive and just call it "play".
     
    MrJones likes this.
  14. 10_3XL

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    8,231
    Likes Received:
    9,575
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Idaho, USA
    I'm not creative, I either describe it as "personal time" or I just call it like it is and say "masturbating."
     
  15. Meee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2010
    Messages:
    2,221
    Likes Received:
    3,316
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Takoma Park, Maryland
    Ouch. Does it grow back?

    I call it masturbating. I like the word masturbation. Some people say it's a naughty and censorable word, so I like it. I also call it "making myself suffer," and basically the opposite, "getting some relief."
     
    arugula, MrJones and sssssss like this.
  16. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    7,123
    Likes Received:
    5,254
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Wanking is all :)
     
  17. Alwayslearningsex

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2010
    Messages:
    2,786
    Likes Received:
    1,162
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada