Initiation

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Ra1nb0wUnderwear, Jun 13, 2015.

  1. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Messages:
    486
    Likes Received:
    1,047
    Gender:
    Female
    I keep seeing posts about relationships where only one partner initiates. This leads me to wonder what's considered 'initiating'.

    I don't live with either of my partners, so I know my situation is a bit different than those I hear about. While I almost never physically initiate sex, I'll express my wants/needs via text or call. I'll initiate the meeting, but even once I'm with him usually won't initiate sex--even though I've made it clear and obvious that it's what I want.

    So this makes me wonder... how do you initiate sex? How does your significant other/partner?
     
    ply and jt _couple2012 like this.
  2. jt _couple2012

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2014
    Messages:
    1,612
    Likes Received:
    4,929
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    AR
    The best way to get a man to understand is to tell him you want sex. Lol
    I am a man and sometimes I don't get it so, just be straight forward and pull him on top of you;);)
     
  3. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Messages:
    486
    Likes Received:
    1,047
    Gender:
    Female
    Oh, they know exactly what I want.

    I'm just wondering how all of YOU initiate.
     
  4. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    I'm not gonna lie. I have always been terrible at it. There has been many circumstances where days later a girl has asked " why didn't you try anything " and also the " aw fuck it and they just make a move" . I'm not smooth lol
     
    Lizzie73 and Amature like this.
  5. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Messages:
    486
    Likes Received:
    1,047
    Gender:
    Female
    How do you initiate with your wife? How do you initiate within an already established relationship?
     
  6. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    Well I work a ton and have a 2 year old so really it's " the baby is asleep!" And just strip and get at it. Seriously, from both sides. Or one of us gets to go out and come home ...and well...just get at it. Really . Nearly no romance or foreplay....some foreplay but not much....it's like the ship is sinking
     
  7. 10_3XL

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    8,236
    Likes Received:
    9,544
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Idaho, USA
    In my relationship it's largely unspoken and not overt. Generally "initiation" is through small touches, significant looks, and other pretty subtle messages when D and I are with one another.

    Then there are the grab-and-go times where it's not really "initiation" so much as "attack." :p
     
  8. Alwayslearningsex

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2010
    Messages:
    2,240
    Likes Received:
    784
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    In a few ways.
    I tell I feel like sex, in a better way than just that. Or I tell her I am hard, she usually looks at it and usually goes for it.
    If I am hard I make no attempt to hide the fact and let her see it for herself.
    I placed her hand on my hard on, or her her to make me hard
    I touch her in a way that leaves no doubts
    If we hug, I press a part of me against her, or when cuddling / spooning
     
  9. whybother

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2015
    Messages:
    4,513
    Likes Received:
    7,698
    Gender:
    Male
    When kissing and cuddling arouse me, she feels my hard cock press into her, that's a sure sign to her that I am initiating.
     
    jt _couple2012 likes this.
  10. NedF

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2010
    Messages:
    351
    Likes Received:
    255
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Great White North
    My wife (rarely - delete that), never "initiates", but then she rarely ever stops me too!
     
  11. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Messages:
    486
    Likes Received:
    1,047
    Gender:
    Female
    Does it bother you that she never initiates? Or is it enough that she allows you to initiate without issue?
     
  12. NedF

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2010
    Messages:
    351
    Likes Received:
    255
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Great White North
    Does it bother me? On a scale of 1-10 maybe a 2. I would love for her to unzip my fly, pull my cock out and start sucking on it. I would even like it if she would throw some subtle hints once in a while that would let me know she needed to be satisfied. But keeping it all in perspective I am just happy my equipment is still working well enough to get the job done and my technique seems to satisfy her needs. I have gone from having sex 3 times a week to 3 times a day with different long term partners the frequency right now seems adequate for me and my wife does not seem unhappy when we talk about it. I still enjoy my me time when I get the urge and have the time so I cant complain.
     
    johnnyangel694u likes this.
  13. Candela

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    4,867
    Likes Received:
    7,448
    Gender:
    Female
    I rip off my clothes,
    Take a flying leap on my bed, Do a half twist so my legs are straight up in the air and spread...
    When I land on my back..:D
     
  14. whybother

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2015
    Messages:
    4,513
    Likes Received:
    7,698
    Gender:
    Male
    I imagine that that gets the message across. BUT...
    As you pointed out earlier... pics or it didn't happen.
     
    Candela and ply like this.
  15. whybother

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2015
    Messages:
    4,513
    Likes Received:
    7,698
    Gender:
    Male
    Sex doesn't happen as often anymore so initiation actually extends over days sometimes. We are rarely spontaneous.Maybe I will grab her ass when we hug, hold the embrace a little longer, often she'll feel my arousal. This gives her the chance to get herself ready sometime in the near future. Then when we get a chance without the kids around, I will invite her to go to the bedroom where we get busy having fun.
     
  16. whybother

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2015
    Messages:
    4,513
    Likes Received:
    7,698
    Gender:
    Male
    Does that involve something like this also?

    [​IMG]
     
  17. WizardTongue

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2015
    Messages:
    281
    Likes Received:
    826
    I have a few ways I initiate sex with my wife.

    Start kissing her neck
    Start paying with her ass or clit
    Or just rip her clothes off her and throw her on the bed.

    Those are the main ways I initiate sex!!!
     
    jt _couple2012 and whybother like this.
  18. Alwayslearningsex

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2010
    Messages:
    2,240
    Likes Received:
    784
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    IT's the person who starts things that leads to sex. Sometimes the start is not even sexual but psychological / mental,
    something that gets someone in the mood or helps that process.
    Or telling, talking, touching.
     
    whybother likes this.
  19. danrb007

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2013
    Messages:
    1,184
    Likes Received:
    1,073
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    wyoming
    Ever since my wife went through menopause she hardly ever indicates that she wants sex. I am the one to initiate and I would really like it if she would at least indicate that she is interested to. She seem to enjoy it once we get going but getting started is all me. I usually start by kissing her and running my hand over her body eventually undressing her and going down between her legs and eating her to orgasm. Once she orgasms then she wants me to be inside her.
     
    whybother likes this.
  20. glock27

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2015
    Messages:
    2,451
    Likes Received:
    1,646
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Merica
    I feel your pain brother. Sounds like we may be married to twins. ;)