initiating

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by tombrown, Jul 15, 2007.

  1. tombrown

    tombrown New Member

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    hello, lemme start with describing what i want to do, then my situation. I would like advice on how i should go about doing what i want to do.

    I want to have sex with this girl i like, and she has big tits.

    She is in a relationship with a guy who she doesn't really like. she told me herself.. she says she feels apathetic towards the relationship... that sounds great considering i would like to replace him. I dont even know the guy..

    The girl is openminded and is somewhat intelligent. She works hard in college. I take classes with her. We study together sometimes. She has let me be in her bed with her, and we listened to music like that.. i tickled her, and touched her boobs, kind of.. just off to the side of them, i guess..

    Im a 19yo virgin, new to this, and i REALLY want to hit it. i like her personally and want her sexually. However, i cant stay out late past 10pm.. My cock is about to explode from the tension i have.

    How should i lead into the sex, at the moment and before, so that i can get closer to her? Any advice is greatly appreciated, from both sexes.
     
  2. cbrmale

    Gold Member

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    This is so shallow! What can I say, you are wanting to treat her like a sexual commodity? Although I have had sex with many many different girls in my life, never did I approach any of them with the thought of sex in my mind. If I met someone and we were talking and then sex happened, then it happened. If I liked someone from a distance and we got to know each other and it moved onto casual sex, or a relationship, or nowhere, then that's what happened.

    You are putting the cart before the horse, reverse the priorities and see where it takes you.
     
  3. Malfie

    Malfie New Member

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    Frankly id have to agree with cbr.

    Your priority should be helping her make a worthy decision about her current relationship, but not with a bias weight added from your end. In doing this you would talk to her about how she really feels about him, what she is enjoying about the relationship and what she is not, what she wants out of it and what shes getting. Have her weigh the pros and cons. If she believes it is best for her to get rid of a lump then so be it, but its not your job to push her out of the relationship.

    Second, shes not a peice of meat. As cbr very well put, usualy people dont really approach others with the though of just fucking them, especialy if it involves a ploy to have her get rid of her current guy to do it.

    I suggest you weigh your priorities. First, are you looking for anything at all?? Or just sex. If just sex is the case, you should have absolutely NOTHING to do with her current relationship. Second, you dont just "lead" people towards what you want, it develops. You should let her deal with her own current dud the way she is going to deal with it, and if she breaks up with him, then you have as much of a right to ask her as any, BUT when you ask her, dont bull shit her. Dont sit there and tell her you want this amazing relationship, you personality this, your awesome humor that, tell her what you really want, "I wana fuck you, and if a relationship develops so be it" instead of tricking her into a fuck buddy relationship.

    The question itself is a bit shallow, but rethink it, and if your not willing to wait for even the chance that she will bone you, accept defeat and find some girl whos looking for a quick fuck just like you. Otherwise, respect her for the person she is, not a peice of meat.
     
  4. tombrown

    tombrown New Member

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    not so shallow

    its not entirely libido, all of the circumstances you describe do exist. Im there for more than the sex. i was setting that aside for the second to ask about the moment when nothing else matters, because thats when it gets awkward.
     
  5. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    Well if you are looking for a relationship,
    Explain that you have feelings for her, get to know more about her relationship, and then explain that she deserves someone how would care about her and someone that she could care about
    Tell her that you want to see if you guys connect in physical way and would like to date her and see where it takes you guys.

    I know if your a virgin you are horny and can't wait to lose it but honestly take your time it, you will like yourself more if you lose your virginity to someone you love, than to someone who just has "big tits" (no offense to ladies with large breast)

    So that being said if you are looking for a loving relationship, which is key for your first time, because trust me you are going to suck at sex the first couple of times, so it is nice to have sex with someone who truly loves you and can talk to you about sex

    the choice is yours but I would rather having a loving relationship with sex rather than just sex
     
  6. tombrown

    tombrown New Member

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    well, honestly, i have been waiting awhile.. i could have tried getting hot chicks all my life, but i haven't. she has intelligence and perseverance that i appreciate and like. she is open minded, too, so all of them are turn ons for me, especially in a relationship. I just hope she feels the same.

    But still, i know that most relationships that involve 'love' at my age end in failure.. so it is probably bound for break-up even if i am successful at first.. so true, lasting 'love' is nearly impossible at this age..
     
  7. cbrmale

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    I wouldn't say true love is nearly impossible at your age, and I know examples of couples much younger than yourself who were a lifetime match. In any case it doesn't take love to have a relationship with a girl, friendship will do it. Some of the best sex in my life was with girls I was friends with and who regarded me as a friend too.

    Don't be scared of love or having your heart broken. Instead, if you are able to form an attachment with this girl, and she with you, and it doesn't last, then at least it was a good learning experience. If you form an attachment and she shares sex with you, then it was a good learning experience with nice memories.

    Life is full of learning experiences, and I believe we need a few friendships and crushes before we are ready for lifetime love. Indeed, until we have a few relationships, it is hard to know what love really is.
     
  8. tombrown

    tombrown New Member

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    point taken.. never really thought of sex without a real relationship.. hmm.. anyways, she seems to like me, and shares thoughts with me that she doesnt share with her bf.. i just need to find an opening for intimacy, i guess.
     
  9. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    Hell, ask her what she wants. You might find she wants rhe same thing. I've found the truth works better then a lie most of the time.
     
  10. tombrown

    tombrown New Member

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    So.. ive gotten around to fondling her breasts and buttocks, and ive tried kissing her.. ive gotten all the way up to right before taking off her clothes.. She says she cant do it because she "cant do that to someone" meaning something about her and her BF..

    i just need some way to make her want to want me more than her wanting him.. Which seems easy, knowing we have more in common.. She keeps stopping me right at the moment, even though she sometimes even grabs my head and does the moves, i guess..

    She has also told me that she doesnt want to be thought of as a piece of meat, but i truly thing she is much more than that.. i need a way to tell her..
     
  11. lifespoetry

    lifespoetry New Member

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    I'm not even touching this one...