Inexperienced Questions

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by mousse, Jan 10, 2007.

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  1. mousse

    mousse New Member

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    I finally met someone who i'm really comfortable and compatible with and I want to give myself to her and have her feel good about it. However, I'm a virgin and very inexperienced. There is also an issue with her past... she is a rape victim (her virginity :( ) and so i'm not sure what that will do to her sex life psychologically. I have been supporting her and being the best man I can be to her...

    The way we feel about each other is a first for the both of us.. and she feels okay about having me. But I wanted to be prepared and had a few questions.

    1. What's the difference between all the condoms? Does 'her pleasure' really make a difference?

    2. If I trim myself.. where do I put it away?

    3. I try to be the best lover I can and pay attention to signals. She says i'm good with foreplay and it's the first time she's gotten wet from just making out. Is that common or should I hold some confidence?

    4. I hear on average most women do not cum during intercourse. Given her circumstances I feel it may be even harder to reach that. But I really want to please her. Should I be worried? I don't mind going down beforehand if that helps. But i'm not sure how.

    5. Sometimes when i'm just kissing her I get really hard. But the other day I was with her and she was topless but for some reason I didn't feel anything. I've always imagined that would be a very exciting situation but I couldn't get an erection or maintain what I had. Yet, I didn't feel nervous. Again, is that common? should I be worried? Could it be guilt from knowledge of her past? Or just performance anxiety?

    6. I know where her errogenous zones are but im not sure how to stimulate them. When she tickles a part on my back it makes me shiver. When I do the same to her zones it just makes her flinch a little. Is there a technique to this valuable touch?

    7. I'm afraid I wont last during our first time. It takes me about 15 - 35 minutes to cum during masturbation with maybe one or two stop/go's. Could someone just clear this up for me... is the sensation THAT much better than masturbation? As in.. should I be intimidated?

    8. Last question... if she were with someone for a year. Would that make her loose? She has not been sexually active for several months now. I'm about 5.0 - 5.6 inches depending on arousal. Didn't measure width but its a little wider than my middle and index finger together. I'm wondering if that would suffice? I'm asian/quarter mixed and it seems we get alot of negative attention in that area.

    I think the questions are fairly simple. I just write alot since that's my trade. I know it's alot but if anyone could give me some feedback I would GREATLY appreciate it. Thanks..!!
     
  2. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    PLEASE FORGIVE THE CAPS. I CAN'T CHANGE TEXT, AND WANTED TO ANSWER EACH QUESTION.
     
  3. mousse

    mousse New Member

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    1. Whats ribbed? Which one would you say would provide her with the most stimulation?
    2. That's just what I meant.. where do I throw it out?
    3. Good to hear.
    4. I have been doing just that... thank you.
    5. I believe that too.. I think it's just performance anxiety. I think I just need to relax.
    6. Any techniques to help endurance? I hear having a condom on can help because it makes it much less stimulating.
    7. Unfortunately.. the experience led to stockholm syndrome (serious defense mechanism against trauma). So I can't take comfort in the idea. But i'm glad to hear it wouldn't affect her body that way.

    Thank you so much, Melicious... you've really cleared up some concerns I had. I feel better prepared.. =)
     
  4. heelfetish

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    1. Whats ribbed? Which one would you say would provide her with the most stimulation?

    Ribbed means exactly that. The condom has a rubbed surface, designed to increase stimulation. As you are both newbies to sex, you need not worry about such things. There will be more than enough stimulation for both of you. :) If after a while you feel differently, then you can experiment with different condoms, etc.

    2. That's just what I meant.. where do I throw it out?

    You're referring to trimming your pubic hair? If so, any garbage can will do. Don't want to throw it out out home? Then wrap it up in a paper towel and dispose of it in a public waste basket. Try to avoid putting it in the sink, as it could clog the drain. The toilet can work too, but it also may clog over time.

    6. Any techniques to help endurance? I hear having a condom on can help because it makes it much less stimulating.

    Condoms do help reduce the stimulation. There are many techniques for staying longer, but most of us have yet to master them. Don't be afraid to cum early, as that will probably make it worse (performance anxiety). Try breathing steady, and concentrate on other, non-sexual thoughts to delay your orgasm.

    7. Unfortunately.. the experience led to stockholm syndrome (serious defense mechanism against trauma). So I can't take comfort in the idea. But i'm glad to hear it wouldn't affect her body that way.

    My ex was not raped, but she was sexually assaulted in a previous relationship. It led to many problems sexually. We took things very slow. Unfortunately things never did work out in bed, and she was never able to completely overcome her issues. By the time she had come to terms with it, we had too much distance between us, and she sought sex elsewhere, ending our 4.5 year relationship. (There is more to the story than that, but I won't clutter your thread with it). My point is that no 2 people are the same, and everyone will require something different. There is no magical formula that says after x number of years, she will want sex again.

    Hope this helps!
     
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