inexperienced, please help with stupid question

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by df315, Jan 4, 2007.

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  1. df315

    df315 New Member

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    Okay, first of all, I apologize in advance for being such a pathetic idiot and wasting anyone's time with this, but I need advice and I'm too embarrassed to talk about this with people I know.

    So, last night I got ridiculously drunk and had a one night stand sort of thing. I know we were fooling around and that he @ least fingered + went down on me, but I'm not sure if we had sex. He said the condom broke and I flipped out and left the room and he left before I could calm myself down and figure out what happened. Part of me thinks it broke before anything happened, but I just don't know. I remember something going on down there, but I was *really* out of it and I'm not sure what exactly happened. There was no mess of any kind so I'm pretty sure he didn't cum if it did happen. I'm a virgin (or was?) though, so I mean, I'd feel pain afterwards, right? Didn't see any blood, but I know some girls break it during childhood accidents and whatnot. Couldn't find the condom (or my underwear for that matter :uhh:). I don't know. What would you be thinking? A girl usually feels pain, right? If I get an exam, can the doctor tell me if I've had sex?

    Also, I know he didn't cum, so I'm not too scared about this, but...diseases? Ugh, I know I bit his lip and left a mark, is there any risk of HIV involved with that?

    Again, sorry for sounding like such an immature idiot. No need for lecturing, I know how stupid I am. Thanks so much for any possible help. I'm really kind of freaking out.
     
  2. AnonymousOne

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    Get to your doc ASAP, get a test and wait and see. It's best to be informed before you really start freaking out.
     
  3. df315

    df315 New Member

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    Yeah, I will. Thanks.
     
  4. juicyjenny

    juicyjenny New Member

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    Do not be too hard on yourself.

    First, let me reassure you that you haven't done anything for which you should be seriously blamed. It's common for girls to make love after getting drunk. That's not to say that it is wise. It isn't. Don't blame yourself any longer. It has happened. There are a few things you should do right away.

    First, go and see a doctor for a complete check up. There are too many stds flying about these days, and it wouldn't do for you to remain uncertain about things.

    Second, resolve to stay away from excessive alcohol intake. That can be harmful apart from exposing you to rape scenerios.

    Third, learn to kiss correctly. Biting your bf on the lips is not wise. It can expose you to the risk of dangerous infections if present.

    Finally, go grab your a couple of good books on sex. Develop yourself by reading these books. That way you will enjoy sex more and get more out of your orgasm. You'll find a very useful list of hot sex items on my blog.

    I wish you the best in your sex life.

    Jennifer.
    jennifer-pulaski.blogspot.com
     
  5. Jayce

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    I agree completely with Jenny.

    And if you do decide you want to drink, for the love of God, drink at home or around some good friends you KNOW would take care of you. And I'm not talking about the friends you met this year in school. Small Example: A girl I know got drunk one night. One of her friends got in her car, and drove her and her car home. Her parents were out of town for the weekend, so he carried her inside and put her in bed. He locked up the house and walked home (about 4 miles away) at 3 in the morning when it was pouring rain. THOSE are the kind of friends you want to drink around.

    Let us know how the doctor's tests go. Wishin you the best. But hey! You live, you learn. ;)
     
  6. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    "The only stupid questions are the ones we don't ask!" Yours is not stupid. As a matter of fact, being concerned and seeking advice shows a great deal of maturity in that you are now taking steps to make sure you are okay. :tup

    As others have stated - no need to punish yourself, as long as the lesson has been learned. I'm sorry your "first" was not more meaningful and pleasurable, but that has happened to many of us here in one way or another. Take the valuable responses above and run with them.

    You really need to educate yourself about sex. There's way too many avenues available for anyone to lack knowledge regarding unprotected sex, date rape, broken condoms and how one can be exposed to STDs. Reputable Internet sites; Planned Parenthood (to name a couple) have trained and non-judgemental people there to answer questions and lead you in the direction that will enable you to be in full control of what happens to your body.

    Even if the guy didn't 'cum', enough of his body fluid could have been introduced to your vagina that, if you were in an ovulation period, could cause pregnancy. Even if you do not get pregnant, those same body fluids could carry disease - some easily curable and some not so easily dealt with. Seeing a Doctor is a must!
     
  7. df315

    df315 New Member

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    Thanks everyone for your help and support. I've scheduled a doctor's appointment so I guess I'll know soon enough. As for the excessive drinking, believe me, it will not happen again. I thought I was with trusted friends, but by the end of the night we were all too gone to know what was happening. I thought I knew enough to protect myself against diseases/pregnancy, but at that point I wasn't thinking. And the kissing thing...I don't normally do that and honestly have no clue where it came from. So stupid. Anyway, I appreciate the replies a lot, especially their kind nature. I was sort of expecting a lot of nasty remarks, I guess because I'm experiencing a lot of guilt. But, really, your responses helped a lot.

    I guess it's a life lesson, but I'm just really scared right now.
     
  8. cbrmale

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    df315,
    There is a long history of sexual repression in Western society, which was basically overthrown in the 1970s and 1980s. Unfortunately, conservative (Christian) people are wishing to repress us again, and this time it less lectures from the pulpit and more overstating the risks of sex. The message is the same as in the 1960s however, sex is bad and wrong and and dangerous and so on.

    By all means get tested, because you never know, but also keep perspective. The risks of STD transmission are very much overstated, and now you know the reasons why these risks are overdone. Certainly you should practice safe sex in future, and when sober you have a better chance of making sure a condom has been applied correctly, but don't stress too much.

    For anything to happen to you the guy involved has to have an STD himself, and even if he does it isn't a given it will be passed to you in a one-off encounter. The third thing is most STDs are not that dangerous, only a few are nasty, so for anything really bad to happen to you, well you can work out the odds. So keep calm and see what happens.
     
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