It seems that my relationship goes better, when I don't mention certain issues. Similarly, I have been hesitating to ask my wife to be more considerate, because she was being HONEST in her comments. So now I am taking the approach of coaching dishonesty. Lies, Denial, overlooking details, are part of what can make a relationship more consderate. Sexual issues are part of getting our feelings hurt. Neither my wife or I are that socially skilled. So I start this thread as part omy being more socially conscious. I made a mistake one time in being honest, by mentioning some roomates were making expressive noises we could hear through their door, wuring sex. I should have prfetended I could not hear their love making noises. Dishonest, but more considerate. The limiting factor I use, because counting on secrecy can lead to other problems, is that I try to avoid doing anything that my wife might find offensive, like cheating. But coaching my wife to drop subjects, about which she is Honestly complaining. Either we can work on the issue now, or make plans for working, or we need to pretend the issue does not exist, for right now, so we can enjoy these minutes together now. .. ..