In law issues

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Esozh, Oct 23, 2012.

  1. Esozh

    Esozh New Member

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    My girlfriend and I have been together 6 months ~ since April 26th. Moved in together (her house) on October 7th. My nearest relative lives over 1,000 miles away, but they all know we live together. Her ENTIRE extended family lives with in 150 miles, most within 30 miles. The only one that knows we live together is her brother. Her Dad keeps wanting to come see my place, pick me up on our way to go hunting or fishing, etc. My girlfriend doesn't want to tell her family we live together until after New Years.

    A little background - she is the youngest of three. Her family is all highly successful people. Not really condescending, but very high expectations. Even so, would give you the shirt off their back if you asked.

    I asked her what in supposed to tell her dad as to why he can't pick me up or come see my place. She said to just make something up. I've tried talking to her about this a few times, and it never goes over well. Always the "we'll tell them after New Years".

    Her dad and I are going hunting this weekend. He wants to pick me up at my house, since where I did live is on the way. I told him I'd just meet him at his place after work, since its closer than mine to work... I know the not being able to go by my house is going to be an issue at some point. So what do I do? I either get caught in a lie and look like shit to her dad, or tell him the truth and piss off my girlfriend. Shitty situation...
     
  2. Slipikins

    Slipikins New Member

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    I'd not lie to the dad. If you get along well enough to go hunting then if he asks you directly tell him the truth. You don't have to supply the info but if he's asked more than once to come "pick you up" then he most likely has suspected something. Us parents aren't idiots you know! :]

    I'm curious to your guys ages and why she can't tell her family. Are they paying her bills? Do you not contribute? It just seems odd if you're a grown adult to let your family have that much control.
     
  3. sandwich

    Gold Member

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    I would also avoid lying. My parents did not like it when I lived with my ex, but it didn't change their love for me.
     
  4. Meee

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    Get the brother involved. The three of you should have a conversation. I'm betting the brother will help her see that she doesn't have to be so worried about telling their parents. And she has to tell her parents before the weekend. You're already lying and you're going to get caught. It's not your responsibility to take the heat when the dad figures it out. She should be the messenger while the news can still be broken to them easily. She needs to respect you on this and not put you in the middle.
     
  5. Buster67

    Buster67 New Member

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    They will like you or not, this may be affected by you and her living together. I was in a similar situation. Be honest with them without pushing your girl too much. They are not stupid people and it sounds like they want to accept you. Give them and her a chance to work it out the way that is most comfortable for them, but never hide anything either.
     
  6. Esozh

    Esozh New Member

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    Slipikins, we are very self sufficient. We both have full time and part time jobs, and the only debt we have is her mortgage. We split the bills and have our own accounts. We're both 25 and have established careers.

    I have talked to her brother. He said that her parents suspect, and font care. My girlfriend just shrugged her shoulders and said she will tell them later. Her sister is coming over Sunday, and how do you explain the basement now being a man cave and all my stuff in the bathroom? I keep trying to pursuade her to just tell her parents, but she won't. Her mom has given me her great grandmas ring to propose with, though that's quite a ways off. I'll tell her Dad if he asks, but I just don't want that fight with my girl.
     
  7. Meee

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    I think it will make a difference.
     
  8. Meee

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    Oh, and one other thing:

    If he asks and you tell him, that in itself could lead to a fight with your girl. Helping her make a decision in advance that the truth is ok will be better for your relationship.
     
  9. Sadden

    Sadden New Member

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    If her dad asks you flat out do not lie. Tell him the truth , if hes asking he already knows. She will get over it. Shes the one putting you in the middle.

    I would try and work it out beforehand though.