In a relationship and suddenly wanting the single life

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by elonlyBuster, Nov 11, 2008.

  1. elonlyBuster

    elonlyBuster New Member

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    So a decent friend of mine and I were talking and he's been dating this chick for a few years now. Anyways he came to me the other day saying he saw some random friends hanging out having fun and he had a moment of "relapse" where he wished he was single again just so he could have fun without having to worry about what his significant other thought or would do.
    Of course I asked if he really loved her and all that stuff and he reassured me that he did and he didn't wanna sleep with anyone else, he just wanted to be able to hang out with the guys looking at girls and talking to them as if he was single again. I guess he just missed it or something.

    Anywayz any advice for the guy?


    And yes I know we all use that "a friend of mine" excuse, but this is actually an actual friend of mine and not me.
     
  2. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    I think it's a normal human emotion. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. So, have your friend figure out if he can have both. He should talk to his SO about flirting with the opposite sex...maybe she'll allow him flirting privileges? Relationships have to be fair though...he should give her flirting privs too (or whatever equivalent she wants), and if he can't deal with her flirting with single guys then he shouldn't flirt with single women. My two cents.

    BD
     
  3. igor

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    Maybe I don't understand things today (I am definetly "old school") but if he is just "dating" her and not engaged or married, what's his problem with going out with the guys?
     
  4. Dreama

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    I think that not wanting your SO to hang out with their friends, or barring them from glancing at the opposite sex is controlling. He should be able to hang with his buddies.
     
  5. Wckd_Beauty

    Wckd_Beauty New Member

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    Yeah I agree with these two. I don't really understand why guys feel they can't have fun. Just because you're dating doesn't mean you're on lock down or something. If you're being respectful and understanding, then what's the problem? If you honestly know you're not doing something wrong then what's wrong with having fun. Everyone does it, and it's completely natural to look. A friend of mine refers to it as 'being in a museum'. He loves his girlfriend dearly, but if he sees another girl he WILL NOT touch..he'll just look alot lol

    ** and I agree with BD.
     
  6. HardRocker

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    Igor, when we were in our prime dating days, we dated around with no expected emotional attachment, while hoping the right one would come along. It was healthy, as we got to know lots of different chicks, and we guys and girls were all friends. If we found one that really sparked romantic feelings, we would agree to date only each other. It was called going steady. If it lasted, fine, if not, we were back in circulation, no harm no foul.

    I have a 24 year old son, so I've been able to observe today's rituals which are nothing like ours were. It seems like when they start to date(that's becoming an archaic word), they expect an exclusive relationship much sooner, which, to me, takes away much of the fun the OP's friend is missing. Not to mention the variety of getting to know more members of the opposite sex and having a wider circle of friends. Just my personal observations, I may be way off base too.
     
  7. elonlyBuster

    elonlyBuster New Member

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    A little lost of a couple of the replies, but anyway I ran into him yesterday morning on the way to class and we talked a bit and I got a better definition on what he meant. He wants to still be with her but basically be able to rub against girls, basically all the steps before sex without sex.
     
  8. Wckd_Beauty

    Wckd_Beauty New Member

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    ...that just seems disrespectful to his girlfriend in my opinion. If he wants to rub up on girls and touch them and do all that then he should be single.. I don't know...just my opinion
     
  9. Dreama

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    Well, he needs to break it off or get over it. Everyone is tempted now and then, but if he's being disrespectful to his girl, that's not cool. He needs to establish clear rules with his SO, or he needs to move on.
     
  10. Wckd_Beauty

    Wckd_Beauty New Member

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    I agree completely.
     
  11. Boblinho

    Boblinho New Member

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    It doesn't sound like it should be a problem to me. That's kind of the person I am though, if I stopped flirting with people, I wouldn't be me. My ex knew that, and she knew that it'd go no further than that, and had no trouble with it. Though I know some of my female friends would have...
     
  12. CptNobody

    CptNobody New Member

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    I think if his girlfriend loved him she wouldnt mind him hanging out with the guys and talking about women. That is a normal thing for guys to do.