Improving both of our skills

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by primal, May 15, 2011.

  1. primal

    primal New Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2011
    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Hey everyone, I've been with my girl for nearly a year and I love her to death. My only problem is, even by her own admission, she isn't very good at oral. Problem is actually too serious a word, since I would never dream of leaving her because of it. Anyway, I love going down on her, and have a good success rate (100% when we aren't stressed, about 80% when we are... we're both professional students with a very stressful curriculum).

    I know I can improve, and I want to improve, because I want to give her as much pleasure as I can. I decided to order a few books, one for me and one for her, about how to perform oral sex. If it was just me I'd look online, but it figured it would be better to get her a book, especially since the two came in a set (his and her books by the same authors).

    So, my question is does anyone have any ideas on how to suggest to her these books without making her feel like she's not "good enough"? I know she has told me she doesn't think she's good at giving blowjobs, but I still don't want to make her feel inadequate.

    Perhaps I can approach it as a chance for us to look through the books together and each find some new things to try?
     
  2. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,960
    Likes Received:
    5,071
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Hi primal, you answered your own question.
    "We are new at this so let's study how to make things even better...."
    Sex is a continum of knowledge and skill, nothing wrong with research and experimenting.
    Honesty about such things is paramount.
     
  3. HardRocker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    5,719
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Yep, simple as that. "Hey look, Baby, I got some cool books about how to make sex better."
     
  4. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,509
    Likes Received:
    4,409
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    If you're worried about what she'll think of you giving her a book, point out that you bought yourself a book too. That might ease her mind a bit.
     
  5. Druthers

    Druthers New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2011
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Don't do the book thing. If you have to use a medium of some kind, watch a video together in the bedroom, and have the pause button ready. There are some great instructional DVDs you can buy or torrent. Watch, discuss, try.

    I'd keep this for plan B though. Plan A should be you and her, somewhere safe, clean and comfortable, communicating to one another about what feels good, what feels better, and what feels amazing.
     
  6. redlacesexblog

    redlacesexblog New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2011
    Messages:
    75
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    washington, DC
    i wouldn't mind if a man brought me a book. but i might go the indirect route. get your book out and tell her you're going to use it as a guide WHILE you go down on her. then do it. ask her opinions about the techniques. get her clarification. get her buy-in. try the techniques a few times.

    then just happen to leave the two books together just lying around . . .

    if she asks, let her know they came as a packaged set.

    no pressure this way.
     
  7. Alwayslearningsex

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2010
    Messages:
    2,240
    Likes Received:
    783
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    I suggest videos are very descriptiveas well as chances of you, one or both, will get turned on by the images, causing a practice session at the very least. Also she will get better, once she has success her confidence will increase. My wife was new at this and well, I admit she was pretty good at it, without lessons, just my input.
     
  8. Near

    Near New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2011
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Philippines
    This is good advice! What a powerful and subtle way to get her interested in improving her skills without hurting her!