Importance of sex in relationship

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by dude2154, Sep 16, 2013.

  1. dude2154

    dude2154 Member

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    Wife and I have been together for over 25 years now I have always had a strong sex drive where she would be happy with sex once or twice a month in my opinion sex is just as important as communication or any other part of a relationship but seems to be put on the back burner in a lot of relationships
    My argument would be if your husband or boyfriend rarely hugged you or told you you were beautiful would that be OK I would think not
    Why are men made to feel like pervs or dirt bags because we feel that we don't get enough sex woman allways complain men don't show them enough attintion to me it's the same thing
     
  2. backcheck64

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    Been with my wife 31yrs, married 25 of it, and we kiss every time before parting to go somewhere, hold hands regularly, and we engage in sex 2 to 4 times a week...this week will probably be twice due to hockey meetings, she's on the orchestra boosters for the High school, parent teachers meetings this week, and hair cuts tomorrow night. What I've noticed is a lot of women look at sex as something they do to catch a man, once they have him, they have the option of doing what they want, when they want, not all, but many. They either never were really attracted to the person they married or it was a passing infatuation, much is about status and money. They also use it as a punishment, you didn't start the dishwasher so you're not getting any...and that continues for months or longer. In some cases it's a power move. Sometimes it's justified by the man's actions, others, it's a lack of communication and the guy doesn't know what he did but the feelings snowball and get's to the point she doesn't want to be around him at all. Many times it's mistakes made by not truly evaluating the other BEFORE marriage. Not discussing important issues or finding out of you're truly compatible for the long haul. That's one reason my wife and I dated each other for 5.5 yrs. We still had a strong physical attraction, we had discussed how our kids would be raised, we had very similar goals, likes, dislikes, political views, etc. After we married we waited for 9 yrs to have kids. Most don't plan or take time with each other in the beginning, that leads to drifting apart and a lack of intimacy.
     
  3. 12barblues

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    Well said.
     
  4. dude2154

    dude2154 Member

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    As I said we have been together 25 years but only married for 17 there is no doubt we love each other we have 2 kids in all other part of our relationship we are great aside from the feelings that I feel because of the fact I feel rejected or unwanted
     
  5. Happy4ever

    Happy4ever New Member

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    Is she willing to talk about it and work on your relationship?
     
  6. dude2154

    dude2154 Member

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    She is willing to talk about it but not willing to budge
    I'm not saying anyone should do anything they don't want to do but if she truly cared and loved me shouldn't she want to make me happy there is almost nothing I wouldn't do to make her happy
     
  7. Happy4ever

    Happy4ever New Member

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    I had this same problem, and if there are no underlying issues that she has, your relationship may need to be re-sexualized. Check out the book and website: "Getting the sex you want" , site: DrTammyNelson.com

    Her work is amazing. She even does Skype counseling.

    She can help with issues too, but just know that sometimes it is nothing else but time and life that get in the way and this may have caused her to split off her sexuality and make it go dormant.