I'm way too "sensitive"

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by grrouchie, Oct 9, 2007.

  1. grrouchie

    grrouchie New Member

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    Hello,
    First post here, but I wanted to go somewhere where someone might be able to give me some real advice.

    Essentially what it boils down to is that most of my life I have been single, with a few relationships mixed in here and there.

    So, for most of my life I have been satisfying myself. Over the years I got to the point where I can do this very quickly. I appear to have made myself "over sensitive" because of it though.

    Now, when I am with someone, I really start to feel myself getting there after a matter of 30-40 seconds and have to stop.

    With the last girl, we got to the point where we introduced toys. One that I wear that stimulates her at the same time. So, basically I am just inside, not doing a whole lot but trying to hold back and not get close myself, while a toy does all the work and when she got close we tried to cum together.

    However, even though she was understanding and we found a way to make it better for her, I still felt bad that pretty much, no matter what, I could never last a long time and every excursion was quick once we got to that point.

    This has seriously, over the years, killed my sexual self esteem to the point where I have very little to no libido any more and now that I am single again, I don't even want to think about a relationship with anyone as I don't want to deal with my issues and hope that she is accepting.

    Is there any type of help out there for a guy like me? Anything that can make me less sensitive so that I can have normal sexual encounters and not finish before the race has even really began (to use a bad metaphor)?

    I currently have someone interested in me, and has been flirting with me pretty hard core, but I keep making excuses why I can't go out and do things because I dread having to make excuses why I don't want to have sex, or if I do have sex feel bad that I'm inadequate.


    Any help appreciated, willing to try just about anything at this point.
     
  2. Bluesy

    Gold Member

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    It sounds to me like maybe you've trained yourself to cum quickly...and you can train yourself to last longer. Don't do the wham-bam style of masturbating anymore; from now on make it a process where you stop whenever you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, then resume jerking off when the sensation has passed. You should be able to prolong an orgasm for increasingly longer amounts of time if you keep this up.

    Also, you might want to check out some other things you can do in this article :http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=sex.relationships&category=better.sex&conitem=294a99edbbbd201099edbbbd2010cfe793cd____

    If all else fails, some docs will prescribe a small dose of an SSRI antidepressant (it's use as a treatment for premature ejaculation is currently "off-label", so insurance may not cover it).

    I'm sure with a little time, practice, and patience things will get better for you :) And bear in mind that 80% of women can't have a vaginal orgasm...most of us need clitoral stimulation. Good oral skills are far more important than duration of intercourse. Keep us updated on how you're doing, 'kay?
     
  3. grrouchie

    grrouchie New Member

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    I"ll be sure to get some practice in and see what happens.


    Even though I moved from there a little over a year ago, it's nice to see that I've got a friend in Pennsylvania!


    Sorry, saw your location and had to make the lame joke.