I'm a very bad lover, last week I caught a peeping-tom booing me.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by ninja08hippie, Apr 18, 2007.

  1. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    I bought a book: "How to make it big." It was all about money.

    My wife likes to talk to me during sex, last night she called me from a hotel.

    All you hear is sex, sex, sex. With sex I've had it up to here. Not lately though, I'll tell you that.

    My wife put a mirror in over our bed, she told me she likes to watch herself laugh.


    -All Rodney Dangerfield.

    What are you favourite sex jokes?
     
    #1 ninja08hippie, Apr 18, 2007
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2007
  2. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
    The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

    Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?
    They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
     
  3. HardRocker

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    How is light beer like sex in a canoe?

    They're both fuckin' close to water.



    For Americans, that's actually a Coors Light joke.
     
  4. Barbwire

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    courtesy of Bette Midler:

    Husband: Why don't you tell me when you come?

    Wife: Because you are never here.

    More from the immortal Rodney:

    Sex and steak are my favorite pair. I get them both very rare.

    I'm bi-sexual. If I want sex, I have to buy it.
     
  5. Clark

    Clark Member

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    More Rodney...

    I got a call the other day from a girl who sounded really cute. She said, "Come on over! There's nobody home!"

    I went over. There was nobody home.
     
  6. Bluesy

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    When I saw the title I thought, What is this, some kind of Rodney Dangerfield shtick? :lol *bows to the inimitable Mr. D* :bow
     
  7. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Sex is like snow. You never really know how long it will last or how many inches you'll get.
     
  8. HardRocker

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    Girl joke: What's the difference between Hard and Dark?

    It stays dark all night long.
     
  9. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
    You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.

    What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
    Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

    What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other?
    WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!
     
  10. charlie-50

    charlie-50 New Member

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    i was making love to my G.F. and and i wispersed in her ear i love you, i love you . and she moaned deeper,deeper and so in a low heavy sexy voice i say I LOVE YOU,I LOVE YOU.:lol
     
  11. Pilgrim

    Pilgrim New Member

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    Our favorite sexual position is doggie where I sit up and beg and she turns over and plays dead.