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Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Magno, Nov 15, 2008.
my gf is a virgin , do u think to approach anal sex to her or it will be a waste of time ,
Regardless of if she wants anal or vaginal it's her choice and if she said no to one, you should try to respect that. If she says yes to the anal then that's a whole bunch of other advice but before that, respect your gf and don't try to do different things just because YOU want sex.
Anal sex is a big deal. It is one of those things that could take time and preparation in ensuring that it won't hurt her...If she's a virgin, I'm probably right in thinking there's no way she'd start with anal. Plus, why not just go for regular sex? Are both of you planning to take it to a sexual level?
I agree with Dreama. Maybe you should try vaginal sex first. If she doesn't want to have vaginal sex then what makes you think that she would agree to anal penetration? Then again, she could be someone who has taken one of those "abstinence pledges" to preserve the sanctity of her vagina until marriage. I've read articles about this phenomenon.
Something tells me that sodomy as a substitute for sex is not entirely what the proponents of the abstinence-only education movement had in mind.
I also agree with wckd_beauty. Is sticking your dick into a hole really that important to you? My advice to any guy who's even considering asking his girlfriend to take it up the ass, is for him to try it first. Then if he likes it, go ahead and ask.
i think that would be a reason never to ask for anal sex , but sometimes it really seems that some girls really enjoy it . and my gf is one of those who want to be virgin until marriage ( i really want to be her husband )
thnx anyways for the advice
P.S i didnt know that anal sex sex hurt that much
Agreed! (And I'm a guy.)
It's fine for her to want wait until marriage, but if she has anal sex then she'll no longer be a virgin. Sex is sex.
technically that isnt true, if your gonna make a statement like that you have to add "in your opinion."
Then do not expect any form of sex. My wife had the same beliefs and she would not entertain any idea of sex (even french kissing) before we got married. So if she does mean that much to you then you will have to sit tight until you wed.
thnx for the advice
Why isn't it true? And it isn't just "my opinion." It's a medical fact. If you're talking about technical virginity (the hymen being intact and all that) when what do you call a young woman who tore her hymen through riding a bicycle or other activity, long before she has sex? Whether you're being penetrated in the vagina or the anus, you're still being penetrated. Anyone who thinks that substituting anal sex for vaginal sex is going to somehow preserve virginity is seriously deluded.
As I stated earlier, I doubt very much that the proponents of abstinence only education would agree that a women who has never allowed a penis in her vagina - but who has allowed herself to be penetrated anally - is still a virgin. Hell, they don't even want you to masturbate.
However, don't take my word for it:
Here's some reasoning from a doctor:
Yeah, rugbylad-where have you been all of this 21st century?If you've had ANY sex, you're not a virgin. Period. Technically, she would NOT be a virgin. *shakes head* I thought people grasped this concept.
Though technically she would not be some people only consider virginity through vaginal sex because of the history with the hymen. You could still find sources that say anal sex does NOT affect virginity. Hell there are some that believe oral sex can take ones virginity. Really I try not to state for fact what it is but whatever the person in question considers their loss of virginity be that oral, anal, or vaginal.
I never understood why some girls prefer not to have vaginal sex,because they want to lose their virginity with a special one.But they still do anal sex with other guys.This seems like the biggest bullshit to me.
But I think this is a stupid think.I could never like a girl that does that.They must be sick.
all these examples are just opinions. There can be no redefined basis for technical virginity. The word means what it means and it will always mean that, and any cultural issues with that meaning are still merely opinions. And i didnt say what i believe is in agreement with what i said, and what i believe in this case really doesnt matteras it does not have any affect on whether puss said was an opinion.
Virginity is not merely technical or physical. It not simply an intact hymen membrane. If that were true then every girl who tears her hymen before having sex for the first time (which happens most of the time, actually) would "technically" and "physically" no longer be a virgin.
Choosing to remain a virgin means choosing to not engage in any kind of sexual activity, be it vaginal, anal, oral. Therefore, anyone who engages in anal sex as a way to "preserve" virginity is missing the entire point of being a virgin. Virginity means being sexually pure and innocent. If you've engaged in anal sex then you're very far from sexually innocent.
I totally agree with you on that.
I didnt mean to start an argument about this. The key point here is i said "technically" in my original post, and there is only and can only be 1 technical definition of virginity, which is the reason most gay rights groups have been and are still fighting for this to be changed as technically all gay people are always virgins. Also if you go completely technical on this matter, historically only women are ever virgins and can ever become not virgins as the word actually comes from a latin and french derivative of the word maiden. Since the original historical definitions of virgintiy were introduced there have been no "official" changes in that term, however socially we have adapted the term ourselves. The fact is any other definition, is merely a socially based opinion, even the medical source you cited above admits that.
Again can i just add, i am not stating that this is my view, just that this is the actual definition of the word.
Re: 3 categories of virginity!
People, especially women have all kinds of reasons for preserving their "virginity". Emotional, religious, psychological and cultural factors play a major role. And for many women that passage from virginity to non-virginity is really significant! These passages are worthy of the repect each women chooses for herself and her own body. Often these events of "first time" are moments the women will remember and often cherish for the rest of her life.
Changing back to the orginal question, anal seems a lot more heavy duty to me as compared with vaginal sex. I wouldn't recommend a guy to persuade a virgin to do anal as a pre-cursor to vaginal sex. First time experiences often set the tone for years to come, and a bad or uncomfortable experience can really be hurtful.