"if you have nothing good to say, just shut up!"

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by sensless, Dec 7, 2017 at 6:39 AM.

  1. sensless

    sensless Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2015
    Messages:
    3,721
    Likes Received:
    6,339
    Gender:
    Female
    "If you have nothing good to say, just shut up!"

    What do you think of this piece of advice? Do you agree with it?

    I totally agree it's a good one. However, by only saying good things and shutting up otherwise, we're contributing to create the illusion that we can please everybody and that we/they are perfect. Moreover, we're creating the illusion that perfection is expected, is wanted, is the only possible aim. :(

    Think of it, if expressing the fact you don't like something (when asked) is a taboo, it means the only possible issue is to please everyone, all of the time. Because even mentioning that something doesn't please everyone, every time, is a taboo!

    The moment you encounter an opinion that disagrees with something you have/have done/are, you crush and feel offended, because you were made to believe you were perfect, every part of you and everything you did. Perfection would be the only acceptable way!

    I think we should be able to say something like "I don't like it" and that not being perceived as mean. Of course, that can't be said in a hurtful way. But if I'm asked "do you like this?", I'd like to be able to give an answer, without automatically hurting someone, I mean, just by having an opinion, or a particular taste.

    I think people get easily hurt, perhaps because they grew up in an environment where nobody was honest when honesty meant saying something wasn't to his/her taste.

    I'll take myself as an example. I have a big arse. It isn't to everybody's taste. If I ever ask "do you like big butts?" and the person answers "no, I don't", I'm not going to take it as an insult. I've asked the question, I'm happy somebody answered. I won't be hurt, nor offended. I'd be offended by a comment like "no, I hate it and I think all people with big arses should burn in hell". I'd find it offensive, even if I didn't have a big arse myself, just because what is being said is clearly an attempt to hurt people.

    What I'm trying to say is that overprotecting is counterproductive, it is harmful. We can't please everyone, all the time, we can't be always right... and that is OK. :)

    What is your opinion?
     
    Mywife4u and CLE32793 like this.
  2. Hypersexual11

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2015
    Messages:
    311
    Likes Received:
    539
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Southern Idaho
    You are right sensless. The key is 'if asked'. I read a post awhile ago where the lady stated how disgusting an uncut dick is, how she never would allow one near her. I'm reading this thinking it may be ok in a conversation between a couple of people, but to post something so hateful about something so benign, to such a large group.. Comments put out to do nothing more than hurt others baffle me. Who are these people? How shitty do you have to feel about yourself to push your misery on those around you? the fuck? btw, no guy wants to look down at his dick and think "It's gross?"
    Many people probably try to avoid the negative aspect of the 'what do you think' question when it's concerning a sensitive subject. Especially stuff like 'rate my dick/pussy'.
    "If you have nothing good to say, just shut up!" is a perfectly good response to some situations. If a post asked "I am considering entering into S&M, does anyone have any experience or advise? A response of 'Die you fucking perv!' really isn't what the OP is looking to receive.
    We don't have to be perfect, but it would be nice if we could be nice. But as Stephen King wrote in The Dark Tower "That world has moved on"
     
    sensless likes this.
  3. BananaBill

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2016
    Messages:
    526
    Likes Received:
    1,289
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Verified:
    Photo
    Opinions are pretty much the only thing we're entitled to. Having an opinion is not the problem, but it's the incessant need to brute force that opinion on others that had gotten out of hand.

    You seem to be sensible, but most people are exactly as you've outlined. I agree with you; you should be able to say your opinion no matter what, and people SHOULD be able to absorb your words and not act like their world had just been destroyed because they happen to disagree.

    I honestly thing the embrace of social media is to blame. If you give everyone a mic, there's bound to be some who feel the need to be obnoxious. These obnoxious ones get celebrated, and the urge to be obnoxious grows. We've arrived at a point where there seems to be more obnoxious people than ones who actually enjoy a spirited argument.

    My opinion: By the time that someone becomes a teenager, they should be rational enough to absorb anyone else's opinion and know what needs to be explored and what to discard. The lashing out in extreme is just the urge to be obnoxious.
     
    Hypersexual11 and sensless like this.
  4. Ryan4chat

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2016
    Messages:
    1,332
    Likes Received:
    3,919
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    I’ll have to come back to follow up on the majority of your questions an my thoughts.

    With that said...
    WHAT????

    sensless, you do not in any way, shape & form, have a big arse!!! Head to toe, one very beautifully fit, sexy lady, inside & out! Including your sexy sweet butt!
    Just sayin, as I completely disagree with your comments regarding your physique.

    But I respect your opinion that you think you do. Fact is, you don’t... it’s a very fine curvy sweet form.

    If someone could put together a picture dictionary, one would look up: Smoking hot little heart shaped arse, an then find a picture of your hot lil butt. :D ( That is hypothetically speaking, as to respect your privacy an not meaning your picture would be posted for all to see. :rolleyes:)
    :p
     
    sensless likes this.
  5. Mywife4u

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2016
    Messages:
    573
    Likes Received:
    1,104
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Chicago Illinois
    Completely agree.