I wish she would....

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by burton, Apr 9, 2007.

  1. burton

    burton New Member

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    So, first off, i'm not taking any part of my sex life for granted, i appreciate and love everything she gives to me and what i give to her. But, when my lady gives me a blowjob, she's kinda mellow with it. It's simply just up and down kinda slowly.. she doesn't seem really enthusiastic about it, but she still likes to do it. I don't ask her to do it, like if she's having her period or missed a day on the pill she'll voluntarily go down on me even if we're not heading towards it..
    So, what can i say that won't be awkward, and what's the right time, to get her to do it more enthusiastically. because i can't get off when she does it, i usually will have to do some of it.
     
  2. Barbwire

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    Dude, dump her and go out with a woman at least 15 years older than you. :D
     
  3. burton

    burton New Member

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    haha CL.. you're married, it'd be a waste ;)
     
  4. Dreama

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    Why not tell her that you feel that she isn't enthusiastic about the relationship. Tell her that you would really appreciate a bit more enthusiasm, and perhaps ask her if she is truly satisfied. That may be the key to your problems.
     
  5. Barbwire

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    [​IMG]

    What makes you think I was talking about me?
     
  6. burton

    burton New Member

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    well she's perfect in everything else, very eager sexually, but when she blows me, it's not there.


    Nothing, i was just talking about you :p
     
  7. NaughtyKnickers

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    Just a question,.. Does she know just how you like it done?

    It seems that with many women confidence=enthusiasm.
    None of us babes were born knowing how to suck cock well, and atop that, every man is different, so it's all a guessing game unless a man gives good feedback.

    If she knows she's driving you wild, hitting the spots that make you weak, that will probably drive her wild. Whereas if she feels like she's only able to give a barely satisfactory blow job, well she's going to feel barely satisfactory about doing it.

    If you haven't already, perhaps you could give her pointers non-verbally, i.e., place her hand where you like it placed, hold her head gently and encourage her faster, or slower, etc. And when she does what you've showed her, what you love, give her clear feedback! Moan, talk dirty, encourage her 'good behavior' that way.

    You may have already tried this, but I couldn't help but bring it up. I didn't enjoy giving blow jobs until I tuned into just what my partner really liked by reading his body language and feedback. That just made the experience so exciting I found myself wanting to do it more and more, because it made me HOT to know I was doing what he really liked! :p Now I love giving oral; enthusiasm is an understatement. :dgrin
    BUT I'm sure it wouldn't be this way had he not given me some body language cues and feedback as to how he likes it done! A woman has to learn somehow, and I do believe confidence = enthusiasm. Even knowing one knee weakening special move can go a long way for a woman in the confidence department.

    One other we did; my partner and I had a small notebook we would write little 'dirty' stories in. We would pass it back and forth, just writing down our day dreams and sexual fantasies from time to time. From our stories, and what he fantasized about me doing to him, I was able to figure out what he liked, and it drove me crazy knowing I could give it to him.

    If you've already tried these kinds of things, you might just want to tactfully address the issue with her. Try to be positive about what she does do well, so as not to destroy her confidence all together, but let her know it would mean a great deal to you if she enjoyed it more. Maybe leave it open ended, and ask her if there is anything you can do to help her enjoy the experience more.

    There is always the chance that she just doesn't enjoy giving oral that much, and never will. She has that right, and that could be the case. I hope for your sake that it isn't the case as you seem to enjoy it. Hopefully you two can work something out that will make you both happy. :tup Good luck!
     
  8. Martin_Baker

    Martin_Baker New Member

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    One way to open it up if you don't already do it is maybe while you're pleasuring her with fingers/tongue etc ask her EXACTLY what she likes and where. If you're asking her and responding to what she wants then when it's her turn maybe she'll do the same and ask you exactly what you like and where.
     
  9. burton

    burton New Member

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    THANK YOU. very useful feedback. next time, hopefully tomorrow and Wednesday, i'll emphasize what she does with a more noticeable reaction if she doesn't catch on



    yeah i've asked her before, but she has never asked me, i've given her pointers before tho.
     
  10. Joe

    Joe
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    You're only 18, so I'm guessing she's not much older and isn't that experienced. She doesn't know! Give her "directions" while she's doing it, especially if she's doing something you like: "Ohhh, I LOVE that, just like you're doing it."
    "Ohhh, that's wonderful. Harder pleeeease! Faster Pleeeease!"
    Etc., etc.

    POSITIVE reinforcement, not negative. Don't say you don't like the way she's doing it. (You DO like it, right?) Just ask her to try this or that while she's going down on you. If you like what she tries, let it be known to all within screaming distance. She'll learn.
     
  11. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    JOE, YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH :lol

    Seriously, as i was reading this, it instantly occurred to me that the poor girl hasn't a clue as to what a good blow job is! It's not her fault, she surely hasn't the anatomy for private practicing.

    I love Miss Knickers' ideas. The "Naughty Notebook" is wonderful - and can serve as a new method of 'foreplay' as well! Shoot - I might even try that!! :brow