I want to be able to have sex and not worry about STDs.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Niick, Jun 30, 2013.

  1. Niick

    Niick New Member

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    I am 30 years old and I've only had sex with one person. That is partly because I've always been kind of shy and I've always had a social anxiety. But, it's also because I am afraid I'll catch an STD. This is a very real fear for me. Even as a shy guy I have had a few opportunities come my way over the years and it kills me that I've always had to turn them down because truthfully I was afraid I might catch an STD. Some of these girls were very hot and it really sucks that I had to pass up such opportunities. Sex is probably one of the best things about life and I feel like I'm missing out on all of that.

    When I was growing up it was like people all around me were getting STDs. Even people close to me in my own family. My sister got genital warts which is one of the STD they say you can't ever get rid of (the virus anyway). She wasn't a slut or anything, she had only been with one person. My mother got chlamydia from my dad who cheated on her at one point. And my dad told me he has also had two or three other STDs over the years. And there are several other people that I know who have gotten an STD.

    And in school they really put the fear of STDs into you in sex ed class. I saw a tv commercial a while back that said one out of four adults will get herpes. These are the ones that really scare me – the STDs like that that you are stuck with for life. You get something like that and nobody is going to want to be with you after that. I'm not worried about crabs, chlamydia, and gonorrhea because I hear that you can get rid of those with medicine within a week or two. It's the ones you can't get rid of that scare me like herpes, aids, and genital warts.

    So how is that everybody else in the word has no worries about having sex. Does this not scare you? I'll bet that there have been cures out there for every one of these STDs even though they try to keep this information from us. I've have heard of three different people who have cured the Aids virus, but they always manage to silence these people and keep the information suppressed. The drug companies can't make money off of treating these diseases if there are known cures.

    I don't know why I'm writing this, I guess I'm just frustrated. I don't think we should have to live with these fears.
     
  2. Cappy_Dick

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    The answer is simple:

    Use condoms. Until you are close enough to someone to both get tested and have built enough trust to be in an exclusive relationship, keep willie wrapped up. The only better prevention for STD's than condoms is abstinence.

    xx
     
  3. Niick

    Niick New Member

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    I knew somebody would say that. That doesn't really alleviate my fear any since condoms are not 100% effect against STDs or pregnancy for that matter.

    I've had a condom come off on me during sex before, and I've heard of them tearing on people. I've even known people who have gotten pregnant even though they always used condoms. They are better than nothing, but they're still not 100% effective against STDs.
     
  4. almostthere

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    No shit dude. I had a condom come off and had to dig to get it out. I wasnt even aware it fell off until i switched positions. Its a tough call. The only way to be 1000% is not to have sex. I say find the right girl and when your sure go have fun
     
  5. Itouchtomuch

    Itouchtomuch New Member

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    Kind of have to agree with cappy on this, either use a condom or just don't have sex.
     
  6. Meee

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    This is obsessive talk. You have a need to have an obsessive worry about STDs that isn't based on practical information. The conspiracy theories that you believe in tell me that there is a psychological source for this. You have trust issues. Disease represents betrayal--you'd get it from someone's sexual activity that you can never really know about. I'm guessing it partly comes from your childhood history with your father cheating and so on.

    What you want to do about these observations is up to you. I suggest you make an appointment with a doctor and tell him the same things you told us here. He'll be able to explain the ins and outs (so to speak) of sex and disease. Real information can give you confidence. The doctor will also recognize the other work you may need to do so you can feel more open to sexual relationships. He'll probably make a referral. Now that you've written out these concerns and shared them, good things will start to come from it. Good luck.
     
  7. Mittimer

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    I have to agree too. You can't live your life being paranoid about getting an std. You wear the protection you have access too or don't have sex at all. No, nothing is 100% but you also can't guarantee that you won't walk out and get hit by a bus. I know it sounds silly, but stop over thinking it all.
     
  8. Cappy_Dick

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    More details to add...

    Condoms come in different sizes and thicknesses. They also come with directions.

    Condoms tend to fall off and break due to using the incorrect size.
    An empty toilet paper roll easily measures the erect penis of your choice.
    Select your size based on:

    • if there's extra room = SMALLER / MORE TAILORED FIT CONDOMS
    (best fit for 35% of men)

    • just enough room = MEDIUM / STANDARD FIT CONDOMS
    (best fit for 50% of men)

    • if it's too tight = LARGER / GENEROUS FIT CONDOMS
    (best fit for 15% of men)

    Condoms must be worn correctly and you must withdraw right after you ejaculate, by holding on to the condom as you pull out. Detailed instructions are available in most condom boxes and is easily searched on the internet

    Thinner condoms are more likely to break. Don't use them if you fear breakage.

    In conclusion, I agree with the others who commented on your post demonstrating obsessive behavior. You should really get professional help with that.

    xx
     
  9. lbushwalker

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    Amen to all the above advise.
    You can't live forever with an irrational fear of something which "might" happen or you would not board a plane, bus, train or even your own car.
    As all have mentioned you can mitigate most of the risks considerably by being sensible.
    Stay away from one night stands situations or otherwise known promiscuous partners but understand that after all the majority of folks are disease free.
    If all else fails go see a shrink.
     
  10. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    To the OP - while I do not think I was "obsessed" with fear of STDs, or fear of getting someone pregnant, did make me not rush into sexual situations as I saw first hand from friends who had to deal with the results.

    That being said, you will have to accept the fact that with that fear your sex life will be limited. You likely cannot come close to guaranteeing no STDs unless you find a virgin and that can introduce another set of complications (like choosing to only have sex with her, not getting bored with that, and hoping that she does not have sex with anyone else).

    Only you can ultimately decide the degree of "risk" you want to take, and in doing so you must accept the associated tradeoffs.
     
  11. boobjob

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    There is value to a committed relationship. The best sex includes love. Love inclides trust and intimacy. Trust and intimacy provides the reaasurance that your partner is disease free.