This is my first post here, I'll start by saying a little about myself, I'm 28 I have been with my girlfriend now for 8 years, we have a 2 year old daughter together. We both love each other and have a solid relationship. I sat down with my gf 2 months ago and confessed to her that I enjoy anal. She was confused and asked me who I did that with, because she has never done that before. I then explained that I like anal and that I had a few toys that I use on myself. Almost immediately she thought I was gay, I explained to her that I have only done that alone and tried to explain why I like it. I professed that I wasn't gay and I only like girls. we talked about it for a while, it was very awkward but I felt better about getting it off my chest. She asked me why after 8 years I am finally telling her about it now. I told her that my intentions for telling her was to be honest, and that I would like her to be involved. I did not want her to find out on her own, by coming across one of my toys. She told me that she would never want do anything that involved my ass and she was very grossed out by the idea of it. I told her i understand and don't want to make her uncomfortable. After that night we talked about it some on/off and she would make fun about it, I thought she was warming up to the idea of it. I answer her questions that she had, was trying to get her warmed up to the idea of getting her involved in the bedroom, well this would just start a fight and then we wouldn't talk about it for a couple weeks. After a few more discussions I told her I am interested in trying a strap on with her, after a while she finally agreed, and we went online to buy one together. After it came in the mail I was excited to try it, but she said she wasn't ready, so are waited a few weeks. Seemed like forever for me, she finally set a date and said we would do on Friday at the end of the week. When the day arrived I was eager to try it, we put our daughter down for bed, then I went into the shower to prepare. I helped her put on the harness and put on the dildo, she was laughing and trying to swing it at me, I thought she was going to be comfortable with this, so she asked me what to do I lubed up the dildo then I bent over the bed, she didn't want to touch the dildo so I reached around and helped it into my ass, she started slow and began to move back and forth, but I could tell that she was not into it and it was uncomfortable for both of us, we tried a few different positions, but she really wasn't putting any effort into It, she didnt want to touch the dildo or me for that matter, and the whole thing was awkward. After we finished she left and said she might throw up. We talked afterwards and she said she would not want to do that again, I haven't pushed her either. I don't know what to do now, she seems completely against the idea of doing anything anal, i told her I wouldn't make her do anything she didn't want to do. Im looking for advice from couples who have experimented with strap on play. Should I drop it and not ask her anymore? Is there any woman out there that can comment on this. I'm mostly interested to hear a woman's point of view on this whole situation. I am very sexually frustrated in many ways, I'm frustrated that I can't play with my wife with anything involved in anal sex. I'm also frustrated with her because I always try to please her either with my hands, like finger banging her, or going down on her, I really like pleasing my partner. Weather it be foreplay to backrubs or whatever. But I never seem to get anything back, she said to me a few times, "well u always get to go". I have to beg and plead for a bj that lasts 3mins then her neck gets sore. She never hears me complain about my neck after eating her pussy for 20 mins. Sorry to rant but I am just upset about our sex life. I'm at the point where I don't want to even try to have sex with her anymore, because I'm tired of giving so much and getting nothing back.