I think my gf is pregnant

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Andy, Jun 4, 2008.

  1. Andy

    Andy New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Hi all,
    Well, as the title says, i think my gf is pregnant. We both are a little scared and are going to a clinic tomorrow. IF she really is, we are not keeping it. Can anyone give some advice for what to do next? Both of us are is disbelief and we could use some support from the community.
    Thanks!
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    Since you are set against 'keeping' it, you have two options:
    1. Carry the baby to term, and allow a loving, childless family to adopt.
    2. Abort

    This is an emotional and personal decision which needs to be discussed between the two of you. Regardless of which you choose, it will inevitably change your lives forever, so approach it with a mature attitude. Understand that you will have to decide within the next several weeks.

    The first choice will involve your GF caring for the unborn child by living a healthy lifestyle - and remaining psychologically prepared to separate herself when the baby is born. Hard? Yes, but with the number of couples dreaming of having a baby of their own, it would be an honorable response to an 'inconvenient' pregnancy.

    I'm certain you don't need to hear the lectures of preventing this from happening. The measures are simple to follow - condoms, BC pills, etc. I suppose I just get a little cringe up my spine when I find so many sexually active couples looking at abortion as an afterthought form of birth control. Not judging, just venting, as I have had my own experience with abortion. I know the extreme sense of urgency in which you both find yourselves at this time, and my heart goes out to you.

    Advice? First: Just make the decision that the two of you can live with. Either one will stay with you forever. Second: From now on, keep the condoms on and get GF on some form of birth control.
     
  3. loveit247

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,241
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Cape Town
    She will definately need some sort of couciling after the fact. Having a child aborted is no small thing, especially for a woman.
    She will be in great emotional pain, she will feel guilty and probably be angry for a long time afterwards. You are going to have to be prepared to support her, no matter what.

    I am sorry that this has happened to you. I hope against all hopes that she is not preggers and that you have learned from his scare.
     
  4. FlirtyChick

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2007
    Messages:
    4,111
    Likes Received:
    19
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Southeast US
    I don't think it can be said any better than this. Period.
     
  5. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Ditto. Rose is quite wise.
     
  6. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2006
    Messages:
    450
    Likes Received:
    4
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    When you say
    is that your opinion or is that something the both of you have already agreed? Should it be your opinion then the first step before considering what to do is to reach an agreement on keeping it, aborting it, or putting it for adoption. To keep it or to abort only requires her decsion. Putting up for adoption may require permission from the both of you since the father is known or at least her permission. Also I would be prepared for her and maybe even you to change your mind as time passes. Whatever decision the two of you make is a decision that the both of you will have to live with for the rest of your lives. In order to answer your question of what next my response is be certain that the two of you have reached an agreeable decision and that the decision is not rushed.
     
  7. velkov

    velkov New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 29, 2008
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well first thing is to confirm it before going through all the emotions, then I would say speak to ur doc as there are many support groups that can help. I know of two people that found out they were pregnant and said the same thing "don't want it" but after speaking to thier partners one of them had a lovely baby boy and the other got rid but still have a wonderful relationship and have no regrets. So I still say you need to talk alot before making a final decision as either way its going to affect your lives and you need to be prepared.

    Good Luck
     
  8. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2007
    Messages:
    450
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    What Rose said, plus this is also a very wise post.
     
  9. Andy

    Andy New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Well guys, thank you for all the insightful and caring responses.

    After almost 2 1/2 years from the original post, i wanted to finish what i started and let you guys know what exactly happened and how things are now.

    Turned out that she was pregnant. At the time both of us were going to be seniors in high school. She ended up getting it aborted and from that point on things have been different. We fought a lot and things didn't end up well. I could tell it affected her a lot deeper than me and at the time i kind of ignored it.

    Only now after a couple years i've realized my actions. Like rose said, it will be with me forever. I don't feel that having a child changed me in anyway, however, i feel it changed the relationship between me and my now ex-girlfriend. I would say we are still friends but things are complicated. We'll hang out occasionally and we'll still fuck. I just don't know how to feel about her.

    We dated for almost four years in highschool and she's back home for college. I haven't dated anyone since breaking up with her b/c i don't feel like getting back into the whole scene. Her on the other hand has dated one other person. I don't feel like i'm completely over her since i got angry that she went out with someone else after we broke up. I want us to lead our own lives but i guess it's hard for me to see her with other people.


    Tell me what you guys think
     
  10. Hot Wheels

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2006
    Messages:
    3,415
    Likes Received:
    37
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sydney,Australia
    First off...I'd like to thank you Andy:)
    For coming to us for advice in the first place.....and, more importantly, for coming back to let us know how things worked out.:tup
    So many others come here to tell us of their lives, troubles and stuff....and never bother to come back to let us know what the outcome was....:ugh
    As you have experienced, life goes on and we all make decisions that make us reflect in later life.:eyes
    Even though it may have been the right decision at the time....not everyone has a happy ending sometimes.
    Throughout all you and her have been through, you are still friends....
    And that has to count for something..... :D
     
  11. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    Have you tried talking about it now that you've got more perspective on the whole issue? This statement "I would say we are still friends but things are complicated. We'll hang out occasionally and we'll still fuck. I just don't know how to feel about her." brings up so many questions. It also sounds unhealthy.

    Without knowing more I can't really comment much more than that.
     
  12. CruelTease

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2010
    Messages:
    448
    Likes Received:
    168
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    UK
    I went through abortion a few years ago. I was very lucky to have a very supportive partner. It was incredibly difficult for both of us, but we got through it.

    I think it's one of these things that can make you stronger (as a couple) or drive you apart.
     
  13. johndeeregirl

    johndeeregirl New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2010
    Messages:
    570
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Illinois
    I agree with CT.. mine drove my partner and I apart (a relationship that was already near the end influenced my decision)
     
  14. Andy

    Andy New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    well in regards to texas, after the whole incident i was over the whole relationship and thought it would be best for us to go our separate ways and see other people. yet, i find myself getting angry/jealous whenever i find out my ex is talking with other guys. idk do i have a right to get angry or am i just not over her?
     
  15. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    So you were the one that ended it? It wasn't a mutual thing? If that's the case then yeah, you've got no right to be upset at her talking to other guys. You made your choice, now you get to deal with it. That's how life works.

    If you're lucky, maybe you can broach the subject, make it clear how you've changed in mind and such, matured maybe, and see if she'd be willing to let things go and get back together with you, if she's willing. Otherwise I'd say you're doing a disservice to both her and yourself by keeping up this kind of half-assed relationship with her.