I said no?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by boobjob, Jul 23, 2012.

  1. boobjob

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    Wifey and I haven't been having sex lately. She has had some health issues that have stifled her libido. Strange thing is that we have relly been getting along much better. Until last night. We went through our usual routine at bed time and when the lights went out she was lying on her stomachI rolled over and put my arm over her back and my leg on her thigh. My hand brushed the side of her breast and I guess that was just enough for my cock pressed against her hip to give a little twitch. She raised her head impatiently and said "that's it. Here's what's gonna happen. We are going to have sex and then you are going to leave me alone". She got out of bed to lock the door but I turned over. She asked if we were going to have sex and I answered simply "no". I explained that since she clearly didn't want to have sex , I didn't think it was right.


    Here's my question: since I'm pretty sure this is the first time in my life that I have turned down the explicit offer of sex' I am not quite sure what comes next. What is she feeling? How do we move on? Any ideas?
     
  2. Priapus

    Priapus New Member

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    Given the way she replied to your sexual "advances" she may as well have said no so good on you for turning it down.

    I don't know the whole situation but if she is not well then try your best to be patient with her, and there is always masturbation when you need to.
     
  3. pbs

    pbs
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    Because she was clearly irritated by your perceived "request" for sex during a difficult time for her, but she was willing to give in anyway, maybe it's time for you to say, "I'm sorry for that misunderstanding last night," and then do something nice for her to help patch things up. If you let them, requests and refusals can become issues in your relationship, something to be avoided if possible.
     
  4. boobjob

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    That is sound advice. Thanks.
     
  5. Dragon_Fire

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    Couldn't you tell her that you understand that she's too unwell for sex but you'd appreciate a cuddle from her while you masturbate in her presence? I gather she's feeling pretty guilty at the moment for not being to satisfy you.
     
  6. boobjob

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    That may be a plan down the line. You are definitely right about her guilty feelings. We had the discussion last night about the misunderstanding and she exained that when I get hard she feels pressure to perform but she's just not up for it. I try to tell her that its ok I just want to cuddle. I think I will use your suggestion about asking permission to cuddle. We'll see how it goes.