I need help -- techniques!

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by On_Top, May 22, 2013.

  1. On_Top

    On_Top New Member

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    My lover is wonderful and giving and very in tune with my body, but for some reason he cannot make me cum. I can cum on my own with a vibrator but I have never been able to get myself off with my hands. Can you tell me any techniques that have been successful for any of you or your lovers? I want to learn how to make myself cum with my hands so I can teach him because I don't think it's fair to just expect him to know how if even I don't know.
     
  2. Meee

    Gold Member

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    Try having him use the vibrator on you. Use it on yourself while he watches, and show him what works for you. Then you can guide him as he tries it. Be patient as the two of you work it out. It might take a few times. A vibrator as a couples toy can be very erotic. Good luck.
     
  3. almostthere

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    Are you addicted to the vibrator? My wife uses one and for a while everytime we had sex. It got to a point she couldnt orgasm without it. Then we slowly stopped using it everytime. We still do on occasion but not every session.

    Try what meee suggest and try to get off manually with no vib and him watching
     
  4. Itouchtomuch

    Itouchtomuch New Member

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    I've heard that about vibrators, they tend to desensitize the clitoral area.
     
  5. On_Top

    On_Top New Member

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    I've wondered if I was desensitized, but he was rubbing my clit and it was way too sensitive and got to hurt after a certain point so I'm thinking I can't be desensitized. Maybe I should stop using my vibrator?
     
  6. Metalgirl

    Metalgirl New Member

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    When I was younger I used the running water method and never learned to use my hands. I went from that to a vibrator and definitely couldn't get off any other way. One night I was just playing with myself, not trying to orgasm. I was really wet and it felt good to pull upwards on the skin above my clit, and have it rub against the inside of the lips (my legs mostly closed). And then surprise! I came.
    All things sex are a lot of trial and error. Direct clit stimulation may not be the way to go for you. I don't like mine touched at all.
     
  7. Cappy_Dick

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    I have never failed to get a woman off with oral sex. Even one's that were having orgasm issues. Try it. You'll like it,

    xx
     
  8. Metalgirl

    Metalgirl New Member

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    I actually have never gotten off from oral sex despite having very patient and attentive lovers. Not enough friction for me.
     
  9. Anotherday

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    Relax, which of course is a hard thing to do when you're already concerned about things such as this. The worry can lead to frustration, which of course leads to less of chance of finding what works. It can be a viscous cycle.

    Something you may want to look into but were afraid to do so is the world of Kink/BDSM. No, you don't have be a slave, maso, sado, to delve into aspects of this. As a matter of fact you can remain quite vanilla, completely vanilla on the outside if you choose to do so. There is a whole wide world of lifestyle within that can be added to yours as you see fit that may truly surprise you and your partner.

    If something like this interests you-you may want to check out fetlife.com. There you can find specific groups for just about anything and everything under that sun.
     
  10. Cappy_Dick

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    I'm sorry to hear that. I sometimes forget that no matter how attentive, that a good number, if not a majority of men are clueless as to how to effectively perform cunnilingus.

    xx
     
  11. On_Top

    On_Top New Member

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    Yeah I'm in the same boat. I prefer a rough touch and I feel like that's hard to achieve with a tongue.
     
  12. cherrie_84

    cherrie_84 New Member

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    I had the same problem for a while. What worked for me was putting down the vibrator for a while. It's very tempting (I know!) but after about a month of trying almost every night I figured out what worked for me. (A lot of pulling and rocking back and forth.) This still hasn't help me with my partner. He can get very frustrated when I don't cum within a certain time. So knowing how to make yourself cum with a fingers touch is honestly only half the battle :/

    Also, I agree. Oral sex is way too slippery to do anything for me as well.