i need help convincing her

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by judopimp06, Jan 30, 2007.

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  1. judopimp06

    judopimp06 New Member

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    Me and my gf have had sex several times but now we haven't dont anything for 6 months. we have talked about it and i have told her that i want to start doing some things again. i mean we don't do ANYTHING at all. how can i make a move (or tell her) that i want to start doing things again?
     
  2. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Why did you stop?
     
  3. judopimp06

    judopimp06 New Member

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    well i went to college. even when i come home on the weekend she says she is always tired and whatnot. she does gymnastics (which is really good with sex) but even on the days that she doesnt have gym she is still tired and i dont know when is a good time to make that move and whatnot
     
  4. NaughtyKnickers

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    Well, perhaps you should first figure out why she hasn't wanted to have sex in the past months, and then work with the issue from there. 6 months is a long time, she must have her reasons.
    There's nothing wrong with you wanting to share sex with her, and you have every right to want to resolve things and at least see what her reasons are.
    No doubt, sex isn't always the easiest thing to discuss, but if you're dating and you're going to be having sex (or want to) you need to be able to discuss it rather openly, or your troubles will only snowball. :ugh
    Also, sometimes working through such intimate issues actually brings you closer together and strengthens some bonds, despite how tough it is to initiate dialogue in the beginning.
    You need to be genuinely concerned with her feelings when you talk to her, and be sure she understands you care for her and want to share this meaningful thing with her. If she perceives you to be saying "Hey, why no sex? I want sex!" she's gonna run in the opposite direction. ;)
    Perhaps you can help her understand you are missing her affection and other simple touching, kissing, etc., and not just the sex. That may allow her some ground to meet you halfway and start being physically affectionate in simpler ways again.

    This is a wonderful forum with many experienced and thoughtful people. There are probably others who can elaborate and offer ideas and suggestions I have not.

    Best wishes! :)
     
  5. judopimp06

    judopimp06 New Member

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    we do talk about it and she says we will we will. but then the next thing i know we never do. we dont even make out or take clothes off or even touch each other. i have told her that i want to and she says that i can. but then i go to make a move and she is like im tired. she only wants to do things at night which makes it even harder. we have been going out now for 2 years. what kinds of things can i do that will let her know that i want to get a little more touchy and do things, anything
     
  6. Dreama

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    I think you need to frankly discuss it....But, you ask how you should let her know. Tell her. Perhaps there is a medical reason for why she is always so tired. I know this may be rash, but you might suggest her going to a doctor, for being tired all the time is simply unhealthy. It could be that there is something wrong.
     
  7. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    I would listen to NK, find out why she is tired, But that could and often
    is only an excuse to not have sex, I could be just some kind of infection
    like yeast that She doesn't know how to handle and doesn't want you
    to know about.
    From what you said, That you have had sex with her before, may we
    ask if She enjoyed it then. If not maybe she just doesn't want sex.
    and wont say it to you.
    Its a tough question to answer.:sf
     
  8. judopimp06

    judopimp06 New Member

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    she said that she liked it but i dont know if she is serious. what kind of move should a guy make that she cant "resist"
     
  9. DSwolf

    DSwolf New Member

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    I would like to ask two things

    1: what kind of food does she ussually eat
    2: do you guys still kiss?
     
  10. judopimp06

    judopimp06 New Member

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    she only eats twice a day and eats regular food, a balanced meal.

    yes we kiss. before we kissed all the time like non stop. we made out a lot but now we hardly ever make out. we only kiss a little bit now. i like kissing and so does she but i dont know why we dont do any of this anymore
     
  11. cbrmale

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    Something that might work in addition to talking about it, something that men typically don't do very well is Romance! Romance is good, romance will melt a girl's heart, all you need to do is show her and tell her how special she is to you. One of the easiest romantic things to do is just hug her and kiss her and tell her how wonderful she is. Not to get her into bed, just hugging and kissing her for being who she is. Another good one is flowers, women love flowers. Dining out works in my household, but maybe I am getting a little middle-aged married couple here. Valentine's day is approaching, an excellent opportunity to buy a special something to show her how special she is.

    Give it a go, I know romance works for me and my lady.
     
  12. DSwolf

    DSwolf New Member

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    The reason i asked about the kissing is that alot of couples stop kissing and wonder why the flame goes ou
    Maybe try to suprise her with a nice, long, wet kiss for absolutely no reason, and let things go from there
    As for food, what do you consider a balanced meal, because alot of people are trying to get rid of carbs and natural sugars from their diet, and that is a horrible thing, as you go without food energy
    I also agree with CBRmale, suprise romance can do a world of good
     
  13. judopimp06

    judopimp06 New Member

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    she is trying to cut down on the carbs but she eats the same thing that i am for dinner and maybe a sandwhich for lunch
     
  14. nudler

    nudler New Member

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    sounds like she is making excuses...there are other fish in the sea
     
  15. Clark

    Clark Member

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    A wise man once told me, "Absence makes he heart grow fonder.... ...of someone else."
     
  16. SexyScorp

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    I feel she is confused......

    Maybe you dont pressure her and stand back for a while....let her come to you, so to speak...

    If she doesnt then its time to move on...

    Just stay friends maybe?
     
  17. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    This is a hard one, (for you) isn't it?
    My next question to her would be to ask her if she's seeing someone else and if the answer is no, I'd then ask if I was doing it right for and was it good, finally ask her if you're the one for her?
    Have you asked yourself if you're doing things to satisfy her or just you?

    A sandwich for lunch doesn't sound good to me if she only eats twice a day!
    She's a gymnast and that burns a lot of calories!
     
  18. judopimp06

    judopimp06 New Member

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    well i know for a fact that there is no one else. i have asked her if she liked it and she said yea except for the first time ( cuz she was a virgin) and all the other times did. i want to please her as well for me. doing things that feel good to her makes me feel good b/c i get to "touch" something and all guys like touching or looking
     
  19. On_Top

    On_Top New Member

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    Low sex drive?
    Could she be on meds that may interfere with her sex drive?
    Or have depression?

    Oh and by the way...
    not saying she has this...
    but it's known for a fact that those with eating disorders have practically no sex drive.
     
  20. issiewantsto

    issiewantsto New Member

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    A good move if she's tired is an offer to help her relax. You should mean it (don't risk losing her trust), even if it doesn't lead to intercourse that night, but also include that you'd like to learn more about what she likes. Suggest you go to bed early and both of you undress completely. Have her lie in her favorite position and stroke her. Pay attention to her breathing and other sounds. If you see that she likes something in particular, try a little more intensity. Women love to be stroked. Little kisses are also delicious.
     
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