I need advice! (Met an 18 yr old girl)

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Donia, Mar 7, 2007.

  1. Donia

    Donia New Member

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    Ok, I'm bi and married, but I've been looking for a girl to get to know and to have fun with. I met someone online who lives near me. She's gorgeous and smart and funny. She thinks I am too. The problem is that I'm 35 and she's 18. Now, people usually think I'm more like 25 and she looks closer to that age as well. I haven't talked to my husband about this yet, but I just don't know what to do. Help!!!!
     
  2. Logger

    Gold Member

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    What are some of the risks or consequences?

    What do you hope for?

    What do you hope to avoid?
     
  3. Donia

    Donia New Member

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    Well, there are no legal consequences since she IS 18. I would hope for a friendship with a little more, you know? I've been looking for a woman to be friends with and to develop a sexual relationship with. Maybe to even have a 3some with my husband and I at some point. I'm just not sure than and 18 year old can really make the decision to do something like that. I am hoping to avoid being the older person who is taking advantage of someone very young. I was very open with her about my age and she doesn't seem to care. It may help to know that her mother is in her mid-40's and is married to a 24 year old.
     
  4. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Donnia
    As long as your Hubby is OK with it.
    And you said She is OK with it
    Then why not give it a try.
    You just may be surprised that
    your Hubby would love the idea
    as most Men really don't object to another Woman.
    Just so long as is is not taking time from Him
    I think I would ask Him and see what He thinks.
    Good Luck

    Hiker
     
  5. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    Talk to your husband before doing anything as you do want to make it the situation more complicated.
     
  6. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I agree. Age difference means little to me as long as all are legal. And talk with your husband. You may just be surprised. My husband is more than happy to keep track of the kids and helps me set aside time alone to meet with my girlfriend! I'm a lucky lucky girl.
     
  7. SexyScorp

    Gold Member

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    It wouldnt be the age gap that would worry me....

    It would be the emotional involvement.....

    Women understand women so well.....it may just change a lot of things in the marriage....

    Your husband may not be able for the "fallout"

    Then again, he may be.........one never knows.....time tells!
     
  8. Donia

    Donia New Member

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    Thanks so much for all of your replies! I did talk to him about it this morning, and he's fine with it. I've only been talking to her online, but I'm going to call her today. She only lives a couple of miles from me and I'm really looking forward to getting to know her better. I haven't had any kind of relationship with a woman for about 5 or 6 years and I'm especially nervous because she is so much younger than I am. Keep the replies coming! :)
     
  9. Havok

    Havok New Member

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    I am not sure that I would be all that thrilled about that if I was your husband...
     
  10. sed.

    sed. New Member

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    since she is of age. you have to really look at how mature she is..... i know 23 year old girls who act like they are in high school still..... i think it all comes down to that before anything intimate.
     
  11. camfan5

    camfan5 New Member

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    does she know what you want from it and does she want the same things?
     
  12. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Ok:

    What if things develop and you fall so in love with the girl that you realise that your husband and marriage becomes almost meaningless?

    Have you and your husband considered this possibility and the consequences?

    Indeed is it a possibility?
     
  13. Donia

    Donia New Member

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    Well, that's what did it. She seemed great at first, but ended up being quite immature. I won't go in to details, but it didn't work out and I'm glad I didn't end up having sex with her.

    I did meet another girl and we're friends, but just don't have enough in common to be much more.

    I DO have a date with a new girl next week, and I'm VERY excited about that!

    Havok...I understand what you're saying, but this is something that my husband does support and I'm very happy that he does.

    Brad...I have thought about that, but I don't think it will happen. I guess it COULD happen, but I don't think it will. Maybe I just haven't met the right girl, but I have never felt the same feelings for a woman that I feel for my husband.
     
  14. msduncan

    msduncan Active Member

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    I guess my caution would be this:

    Women especially get very emotionally attached after sex. As someone else stated earlier, they also understand each other very well. This *can* be a reciepe for disaster in a marriage.... because the two women wind up fullfilling each other's needs way more than the husband.... and even though the women themselves don't wind up with each other forever, the husband becomes the 5th wheel and is dropped. And many times people set out KNOWING THIS...and it happens anyway even if you are on-guard about it.

    Just be very careful. This could forever alter (or end) your marriage in the long run.
     
  15. thomashp

    thomashp New Member

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    I doubt this 18 year old girl is emotionally ready to take on what you're trying to do. She will get attached and I don't really think that's what you want.