the sex within my marriage has become uncomfortable for me. To make a long story short, my husband and I began swinging about 8 years ago. We discussed it before we did it and both agreed (or so I thought) that it would be a nice way to add some variety to our relationship once in a while. We were not married yet, at that time. Our first experience was with another couple and was pleasant enough, but I now feel I did it more for my partner's pleasure than mine. He is enough for me and I just don't desire other people. Well move forward and my husband seems way out of control with this. He wants to spend at least one weekend a month with other swingers and we don't seem to get away from the children more than that, so we are either with other couples or our children leaving us with no intimate time. I have expressed my feelings to him and told him I need intimate time with just him. His answer is that when we are sharing our bodies and pleasure with others people, it IS intimate time together. Second issue is that for the last few years, he is only interested in MFM threesomes. We have been with very few couples. I do not enjoy MFM threesomes at all and have told him it's just not for me. He sits and listens and then arranges another 3-some and pressures me. I feel used by this. He says he wants to have these 3-somes because my pleasure is so important to him. How does my pleasure have anything to do with this when I don't enjoy it. It overwhelms me to be with two men at once. I just don't understand. At this time, our sex life totally revolves around liasons with others or talking about or planning these liasons. We are not having spontaneous or warm loving sex at all. Our sex life is for me becoming one of dread because for him to get off I have to verbally talk about one of these threesomes which felt degrading to me in the first place. Rehashing the 3-some is unpleasant to me. He also wants me to talk a lot about my past sexual experiences in detail while we have sex. Some of these are with guys I had relationships that I'd rather forget. You know, relationships that were big mistakes. Also, he refuses to use condoms and doesn't want the other man to use a condom as he enjoys sloppy seconds. I seem to keep vaginal infections and am very afraid of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. I'm at a total loss and ready to give up on this marriage. I love sex, but need to be cared about and respected. When my feelings are being ignored, I don't feel cared for or loved. Right now I feel very lonely. Any advice.