"I just want to be friends"

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by HotForHoney, Jun 28, 2014.

  1. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,919
    Likes Received:
    17,168
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    Is it possible? Share your stories.


    Seems he's "not ready to date yet/it's not you it's me" has found me again.
    Asked me to wait, to which I said was unfair of him.
    Then he said "we can still be friends".

    Not sure what I want yet. Please share your stories.
     
  2. AGFUNK

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    3,974
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    IL
    We wound up not talking for awhile and then became friends with benefits. It never ruined the friendship but were never more than that.
     
  3. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,919
    Likes Received:
    17,168
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    To clarify - there was no prior friendship.
     
  4. AGFUNK

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    3,974
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    IL
    There kind of was.
     
  5. CaramelLady

    Guest

    Sounds like code for "Can we fuck until someone else comes along?" Don't waste your time. You are a marvelous woman. I pity the blind man that cannot see that.

    Sorry no story to share.
     
  6. bettyisback

    Guest

    I agree with the lady above me, he wants to have his cake and eat it. There's every chance that you will end up as friends eventually but if I were in your shoes, I'd move on now.

    Good luck!
     
  7. boobjob

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2011
    Messages:
    2,095
    Likes Received:
    1,109
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    east Coast
    He's a confused man trying to sort things out. Being friends is fine as long as you don't put your life on hold for him. Make sure he knows that your still looking.

    My wife was on the rebound when we started seeing each other and initially said she wanted to go slow. Passion took over after a few nights if hanging out and before we knew it she was on my lap in my car dry humping me till she came. We dropped the pretense after that.

    Dating is hard and sometime takes concessions. Only you know if you are over invested in him. If you aren't giving up other opportunities then it's ok to be friends with him.
     
    CaramelLady and HotForHoney like this.
  8. JonJo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2012
    Messages:
    6,069
    Likes Received:
    4,291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    Everything that everybody else has said.
    BUT you are a sensible woman and you have yours eyes wide open, not clouded by rose coloured glasses, so if you want to know him as a friend and just a friend then go ahead - you do need a male friend for those little jobs around the new apartment. So if he is willing to go along on that basis then you have your handyman and friendship cake, while he has his.
    Proviso, as far as I am concerned - you are too valuable as your own person to let him have any other kind of 'cake' while he is making his mind up.
    The fact that he "asked you to wait" does to me indicate that you have already given him indications, of whatever kind, that you might be willing to wait - shouldn't need to say it to a woman of your 'experience & maturity' but I care enough to go ahead and say it - just watch out that his 'waiting' and 'friendship' doesn't mean he wants to 'sample the goods' before deciding, or in other words isn't using you to fill some void in his physical life while his emotional one still doesn't know what it wants.
    You know that that isn't really what you want, or indeed, need; nor deserve.
     
    boobjob, CaramelLady and HotForHoney like this.
  9. luvbug

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2010
    Messages:
    6,072
    Likes Received:
    1,663
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    I'd drop his ass and move on. Typical male. Wants to keep fucking you while looking for someone better.
    Don't let him string you along.
    Play by your rules!!
     
    CaramelLady likes this.
  10. Alwayslearningsex

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2010
    Messages:
    2,240
    Likes Received:
    783
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    No story to share either but I agree with your point of view on what he is doing.
     
    Married M Nh and CaramelLady like this.
  11. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    Okay...I'll tell a story on my personal experience. Last time I said that it was my way of saying no I am not interested in you but if we were hanging out and having a few drinks I may sleep with you but it would make for awkwardness next time I saw you and I probably would avoid you.

    Sorry that is how it was with this person. I have never made a habit of anything like that
     
    luvbug and CaramelLady like this.
  12. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,958
    Likes Received:
    5,071
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Once told a friend if we have sex then we stay just friends ok?
    Lasted several years as FWB then she fell in love and that ruined it!
     
    luvbug, Doitagain and JonJo like this.
  13. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,919
    Likes Received:
    17,168
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    With you or someone else?
     
    JonJo likes this.
  14. sandwich

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2012
    Messages:
    2,597
    Likes Received:
    2,388
    Gender:
    Female
    I think if you want a relationship beyond fucking then he is a waste of time. That sounds mean in a way, but you seem nice and fun and interesting, and there will be someone who truly recognizes that.
     
  15. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,958
    Likes Received:
    5,071
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Me *shamefully modest*
     
    JonJo and HotForHoney like this.
  16. 10_3XL

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    8,236
    Likes Received:
    9,544
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Idaho, USA
    Last time I was in this situation it went like this:
    Her: I really like you, just not in that way... we can still be friends.
    Me: I have enough friends, so I guess that's the end of this.

    I'm totally done with the Friend Zone bullshit. Until Divka I was really good at getting myself involved with women that strung me along then burned me in the end after I foolishly/naively invested a ton of time and energy into a (possible) relationship.
     
    luvbug likes this.
  17. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,958
    Likes Received:
    5,071
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Good guys get rolled, bad dudes score. It only took me 50 years to work it out;)
     
    JonJo, luvbug and 10_3XL like this.