I just dont get it

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by Babiegurl, Dec 1, 2006.

  1. Babiegurl

    Babiegurl New Member

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    This is just more like a rant guys....You can choose to ignore it if you want.

    How can you not know your turn ons? And is it common not to be able to get it up after the first time? I dont mean right away I mean again the same day. I"m beyond frustrated with my hubby. The sex has gotten sooo much better and he hasnt had an issue getting it up. But tonight he tells me that he wont be able to get back into the mood since he's already had sex once today....then I ask him how he gets in the mood and he say "I dunno". He doesnt get turned on any erotic thoughts or words or anything....IS HE A FUCKING MAN OR NOT??????? He said he just gets
    in the mood on a whim basicly. Just a passing moment. Its like he can turn off the thought of sex all together or days at a time. I just dont understand?
     
  2. cbrmale

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    I'm probably older than your husband, so twice in a day is my limit. Personally I can get in the mood anytime I am not physically or mentally exhausted. All it takes is the opportunity and I am ready.

    Actually, I had a long-term low-level illness that destroyed my natural libido, but we kept having sex three or four times a week regardless because I enjoyed the closeness, the intimacy, the pleasure shared. I didn't need to be horny to have sex, and I wasn't ever naturally horny for a couple of years (women who deny sex to their husbands because they aren't in the mood, please note this posting).

    Only when I am really, really tired like after working in the garden all day or coming home after a difficult business trip with lots of travelling and airports and such will I forgo sex, but only until early the next morning. But we're not all the same, are we?
     
  3. Babiegurl

    Babiegurl New Member

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    I wish it was something to that affect hun, I really do. On days like today he has nothing to physically or mentally exhaust him. Thats what I dont get.
     
  4. cbrmale

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    I have a natural cycle that goes sex day one and I feel great. Day two and I notice it, day three and I am looking at all the pretty girls really deeply and I really need it. So about three days is my natural limit now. When I was sick, I didn't have the same cycle, but I enjoy sex and I am glad I made the effort because everytime a couple shares sex, it makes the love a little stronger.
     
  5. Babiegurl

    Babiegurl New Member

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    Thanks hun. I guess I just have to be patient and maybe he'll come around.
     
  6. loveit247

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    That is a worry. But at the same time all people are different. Maybe you should sit him down and explain gently how you are feeling and ask him if there is anything bothering him.

    Good luck!
     
  7. smallpackage

    smallpackage New Member

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    My guess is there is something on his mind. Maybe he is thinking about work to much.
     
  8. BustHer

    BustHer New Member

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    I have in the past tuned out for a week or so at the time because of a particular problem on my mind like children, work, or something going on between the wife and I. I travel constantly and jet lag does kill me when I finally get home. I dont have this problem any longer, the preoccupation with problems, I've learned to accept things as they are and to just enjoy life. IMHO I think it may be that he has something rolling around in his head that he cant deal with or figure out how to rectify. Babiegurl please remember that guys just like ladies sometimes just dont want to have sex and it will probably pass in few days. Try to be supportive and stay positive, in long term relationships understanding and patience are a must. I'm too tired or dont feel like it are not rejections of you but may well be an honest reply from him. The pressure of a relationship and life in general sometimes get the best of us all, hang on and dont let his reluctance make you feel like a failure or push you into seeing him as a failure, give it time.
     
  9. Joe

    Joe
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    Contrary to what most of the postings on this board might lead you to think, some guys just aren't always horny. If this is something new for him, he might be bothered by something (depressed, stressed, worried, etc.). Or it could be physical. Our sex drives are driven by hormones, and hormone manufacturing is a complex process by our bodies. If this continues for long it might be wise to visit an endocrinologist for a check of his testosterone levels, etc. It could be a sign of a more serious problem. Years ago I had a pituitary tumor which caused a lowered testosterone level (among other things).
     
  10. johnnyangel694u

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    There have been times where I have been tired of having sex and it just didn't feel good. I guess everything came out of me. lol. But then again that was in my early 40's. If he is your age then it is probably something on his mind. I wouldn't worry too much about it. You may have to please yourself.
     
  11. Bluesy

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    That all guys are sex maniacs and ready to go at the drop of a hat is complete bunkum. Libido varies from individual to individual, regardless of gender. So this may be his normal level of sexual arousal, or like the others have said, he may be preoccupied (could he be depressed?), or his hormones might need checked out. Don't take it personally, luv.
     
  12. Babiegurl

    Babiegurl New Member

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    Thanks guys! This actually isnt a new thing its been going on for at least 4 years. We've been together for 6 years and we didnt have a problem until 2 years later. He was really depressed around 2002-2003 and his sex drive went down from there. Then he joined the military around 2004 and was in boot camp, tech school, and then Korea for a year, which ment he didnt live with me for 2 years with min visits. In early 2006 he came home and this problems continued. I dont know what is going on and maybe it is a medical thing and we should get it checked out. I dont want to upset him and make him think I'm not statisfied because I am. Thanks for all the wonderful advice guy its really appreciated.
     
  13. crashdown

    crashdown New Member

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    Perhaps be's just going through a cycle where he has a low libido then when it goes back high you will be all tired from the love makin'. :)