And its honestly not one that one usually expects to hear about on this forum. I'm not even sure what response I am looking for here. More like, i just need to write it down for my own sake. You see, theres this girl. (As there often is in most stories, lol). I've known her for +/- 6 years now, and we've always been friends, though in the past year or so we've become much closer friends (i.e. moving up from "friend" to "good friend"). And I've realized that now I want it to become more than just that, and to actually have a romantic relationship with her. And I must make myself clear, i mean an actual relationship, not fuck-buddies. Of course, thats the problem. Its not the first time i've "fallen" for a close friend. And the last time I did, it ended with me having a broken heart, because of course she didn't want anything more. It took quite some time to even go back to being close friends after I had finally mustered up the courage to speak what i felt. So now I'm deathly afraid that if I tell this girl how i feel, it's going to just end up the same. Her saying its not going to happen, me feeling like crap, and a friendship pushed to the brink because I decided to admit that "friend" wasn't enough. Now most of you are probably saying right now "well, you'll never know if you don't say something". And you're right. To make matters worse, though, is the mixed signals. Recently she broke up with a guy who had been treating her like crap, and went forth into the "I hate all guys" phase that I've seen almost all of my female friends go through from time to time. In the midsts of all this she says things like "you're up on a pedestal compared to all other men" and things to the extent of "why cant they be more like you". And in the next few days, she has a 1 night stand with her boss and sends me messages saying "I'm not giving you the idea that we're more than friends, right?" The fact of the matter is that she wasn't giving me those ideas, but I wouldn't mind in the least if she were. Then the other day she tells me how she was with this other guy and she was drunk, was telling him about me and referred to me as her "boy toy". (mind you we have never been romantically or sexually involved). Key word she was drunk. but she still said that. Why would she even tell me that if she wasnt trying to tell me something? How am I supposed to interpret this stuff?! The biggest thought that ran through my head at one point was "if i'm up on this pedestal, why am I not the one you want?" But i'm stuck playing it off as friends because i'm too chicken-shit to say anything. The other part is that I don't want to be the proverbial "rebound guy". Which is another reason why I havn't said anything. Except now I'm worried that she's going to end up with one of these other guys without me ever having said something about how I feel. Then theres my own confidence issues. I will be the first to admit that I'm far from a 10, and she's always finding these "hot" guys. I don't compare in that department. Outside of the looks issue, I've also havn't managed to find a steady relationship in over 7 years. Sure i've had a few that lasted a few weeks or even a few months, and a couple of hook-ups here and there, but nothing serious. But my inability to get a steady relationship going also has me wondering what I'm doing wrong. Is it the fact that I'm simply not the "bad boy"? That I make it too easy for women to check me off in that "just friends" column? I just don't know what to do at this point.