I have a problem.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by ps-, Jan 25, 2004.

  1. ps-

    ps- New Member

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    I am 18, male, and in grade 12 of my highschool.

    Ugh.. this is going to seem dumb, i just hope i can get some help.

    When i came into grade 9, i met a girl sitting beside me in class, her name was Shawna.
    We became semi-friend's for the whole 5 month semester.
    She is beautiful, very smart, and fun to be around.
    I wanted to ask her out, but i was afraid of rejection, so i just sat back.
    Turns out, some guy asked her out a few month's after i met her.. (i will get back to this soon).
    She went out with him throughout the rest of grade 9, and for the first semeter of grade 10.
    I than transfered schools because i was haveing problems at that school.
    I'm pretty sure she lives in the town i do, population of 14,000.

    Now, i am still thinking of her-- every day.
    I fell in love with her over that year and a half, and i have not lost the memories yet.

    I have no idea wether or not she is still dateing that guy--or another.

    I really want her. As a best friend-- as a girlfriend.

    I have noidea how to approach this situation.
    I cant think of anything.
    During that year-an-a-half, i did not get her address or phone number.
    So i really cant do anything.
    I just want the chance to love her.
    But it doesnt look like im going to get it.

    Any suggestions? Please.. im desperate.
     
  2. Ryan

    Ryan Gold Member

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    Look her last name up in the white pages, call her and tell her that you found out she lives in the same city and "if you want to go out for a bite to eat or a movie", don't ask her out, but find out more and just become friends first.
     
  3. ps-

    ps- New Member

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    Listen
    we both know that we live in the same town
    its a suburb of hamilton

    Its just, if i look her up, it would seem as stalking?
    I mean, it would be SO much better if i could meet her while i am walking my dog, than i could ask her out for a coffee or movie..

    Idea's?
     
  4. Ryan

    Ryan Gold Member

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    Why would it be stalking? Just call and tell her you looked her up, if she says no and you call again, then it might be stalking.
     
  5. ps-

    ps- New Member

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    Hmm
    Thanks
    Im going to do this soon..
    Thanks man!
     
  6. Logger

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    Dating

    Positioning and stalking are two different concepts. Stalking is a pattern of repeated shadowing afer a rejection, or with no attempt to make a contact.

    If you were to be able to talk to her, what would you say? "I often find myself thinking about you," is nice. But you need more to get her to feel comfortable talking to you. Most girls like to talk. It is your job to ask questions to show that you are interested in listening to them.

    What are her intersts, and what can you ask her questions about, that will get her talking to you? I suggest the challenge is to have a list of questions to ask her, ready to ask, if you see here. Not just, "Will you go out with me."

    You know what school she goes to, you know what time the school gerts out. Does she walk home? Can you meet her at her bus stop when she gets off? Can you ride your bicycle over there, or dirive a car? Can you just have your hood up between her bus stop and her house? Can you be standing on the stairs as she gets out of school? Can you offer her a ride home?

    If she is dating someone, then she can tell you, and you can contact her in another month to see how things are going. If the guy has not propsed to her, then he has no real claim. Can you get a diamond engagement ring for her? Pawn shops have reasonable prices. You can be prepared to demonstrate a higher degree of sincerity over your competition. A friendship ring?

    Who is the other guy, and do you have a case file on him built up? Know your competition. How can your horswoggle the other guy? Who can you fix the other guy op with, so you can get your girl?

    Logger
     
  7. Doitagain

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    images-2.jpeg There it's fixed
     
  8. Shelby

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    What about finding her on some social media site? Once you do just ask if she wants to grab lunch and catch up. If that works out ok then keep going with.
     
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  9. Alwayslearningsex

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    I am on the fence with Ryan's idea, what if you get friend-zoned?
    Maybe she would like to see you again. Find a reason to bump into her.
    If you get talking, ask her if she is still going out with that guy.
    Social media too but call me old school, in person is better.
    Make a move, be "afraid" of being rejected or turned down. No WHAT IF
    My idea is putting you on the spot, but what if you do nothing?
     
  10. Alwayslearningsex

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    Good luck by the way.
     
  11. sagswing

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    I'm gonna be a contrarian here but my friend you are 18 and the WHOLE WORLD is fixing to open up for you. I guarantee you that neither you nor especially her are the same at 18 as you were 15 and holding on to a crush on a girl when you were both 15 is closing the door leaves you open to massive disappointment as an 18 year old. I see very little chance for this to go anywhere and while some may not consider some of the suggestions to not be stalking, it will be HER who decides.

    You are FAR too young to be borderline desperate for a relationship. Let her go and I can GUARANTEE you will find another who you can get to know NOW. She is NOT the same person now as you are not.

    If you happen to bump into her casually without working at it go ahead and chat her up, but I wouldn't put much effort into finding her . . . too many chances for it to go horribly wrong and not much chance of a real happy ending.

    Just my opinion but good luck. There are SO MANY fish in the sea, don't angst so mush about the one that got away.

    Good luck!
     
  12. 12barblues

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    I think he's 28 . Not 18. I wonder how it all panned out.,?
     
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  13. sagswing

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    Crap . . . that's what I get for seeing a "new post" flag and not looking at original posting date :(
     
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  14. Doitagain

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    Yeah that's my bad
     
  15. sagswing

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    Wonder how long before ThreadPolice.jpg
     
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  16. Doitagain

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    I think the " laws" will be relaxed a bit now. You may of missed the nonsense I caused but it was on purpose and now it's over. We good
     
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  17. sagswing

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    Yeah, but it is kinda fun to run with scissors sometimes :D
     
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  18. 10_3XL

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    And here for the longest time I was always the one getting accused of being a troll... my throne has been usurped. ;):p
    cheers.gif
    (There - one of the Fun Hating Forum Nazis has responded. I'd have been remiss in my duties not to.)
     
  19. lbushwalker

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    I was so tempted simply to note the date of OP and nothing else!
    By some bizarre and powerful force I resisted ;)
     
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  20. 10_3XL

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    In context of this particular thread I don't think that'd have been wrong of you to note. I mean - the OP was asking for time-sensitive dating advice and it was 10 years ago! :eek:

    This thread being revived would count as "post pollution" - I'm sure even the Resurrectionists could agree with the Admonitionists on that. :confused: