I give up....

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Shellen77, Apr 21, 2004.

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  1. Shellen77

    Shellen77 New Member

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    Sorry to throw in a mini rant and rave, but I really needed to let this out before I explode. I'm hoping that members on here can help me with some suggestions or some advice.

    I just don't understand why it's so damn hard for me to find a "date". I know that with my job, it takes a lot of my free time but I'm still out in the public eye. Yet...can't find any decent men? Granted, I get hit on quite a bit but it's not the quanity that matters, it's the quality. When I finally met a guy that has potential, he's either a complete player or he's just looking for a quick fix in the sack. I guess I'm just at a stage in my life that I want to settle down. I've never been a good dater and have always been a long term relationship kind of person (one relationship was 5 yrs & another was 4 yrs). Apparently, I'm doing some thing wrong or men just don't like what I have to off. My only thought is it comes down to my personality. I'm a very strong willed person, have a great career and can be out spoken at times. I've been told in the past that those are great qualities to have, but yet when men find out that...they bolt. Some men (not all men, but apparently the ones around this area!) don't like an outspoken woman or one who may possibly be the "bread winner" of the household. I've also been told that I come across snobbish and intimidating by first impressions by some people. I don't know where they get that since I'm people person by heart and I'm one that always speaks to people first. Maybe I "think" I'm one kind of person while on the other hand I'm not what I "think". I just dunno and don't understand it!

    Can someone tell me what the hell I'm doing wrong? Please feel free to be brutally honest with me.

    Thanks for listening to me ramble on. I appreciate it!
     
  2. msc

    msc New Member

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    i dont know you personally, but i dont think its your personality. you seem to me like a reasonable person. i think its just a matter of time until you find the right one; and he is out there somewhere. there hasta be a guy out there that is perfect for you.

    to be brutally honest, maybe you need to lower your expectations. i dont think so though.

    i understand what your saying though; it seems to me whenever i find a woman who i think could be right for me, she is either not interested in a serious relationship, involved with somone else, or just not interested :(
     
  3. Mad Doctor

    Mad Doctor New Member

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    Hello Michelle, first off don't beat yourself up to much over it. I found out that when you go out of your way to find that special someone it's not going to happen naturally or if at all. I found myself getting upset or mad if I saw a couple walking hand in hand and enjoying each other. I finally got to the point where I said screw it I'm done. After awhile of just being me and not thinking of it things happened. I now have a great fiance and we're getting married in October. I think you to will find the special someone your wanting to find. Just don't stress about it too much and hopefully it'll happen. You are a truly beautiful woman and if there isn't someone out there that can appreciate that, there must be something wrong with them, NOT YOU!! So don't give up, keep faith but live life your way. Sooner or later someone will take notice and sweep you off your feet!!
    Just don't give up!!!!! There's someone out there, just got to hope the stars line up!!!!
     
  4. iamjustme

    iamjustme Member

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    Yeah Michelle, please don't give up. You're young, self-assured, intelligent and beautiful, and there's nothing wrong with you. Don't think that the problem is Michelle... calm down sweetie, the problem are those guys around Michelle. I'm pretty sure you'll find the man you DESERVE sooner than you think... you'll see! Never change the woman you are trying to find someone; otherwise you won't be yourself. Be the proudly yourself all the time!!!

    :)
     
  5. Hug_It

    Hug_It New Member

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    I would say the most important thing is that pretty much everyone has the same type of feelings you do at least once in their life, if not most of their life. We (as people in general) really take for granted how special it is to find someone you are compatible with and I think that is at the root of why relationships don't last. If we all worked as hard at our relationships as we did when they were first starting out, you wouldn't see nearly as many divorces as you do today.

    Having said that :) , I know it gets frustrating but I would bet you have good weeks and bad weeks when it comes to how you feel. One of these good weeks might just turn into years and years of enjoyment. Just have to keep your chin up and rely on the fact that your day will come again :) .

    At least that's how I do it, I've been single for the first time in my adult life for a little over a year now.
     
  6. deeperlover1978

    deeperlover1978 New Member

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    I know how hard it is to find a good date. Lot of women here where I'm at are either gold diggers or too much heavy drama in there lives. I notice though that I seem to have the best meaningful relationships with people i known as frineds for a while. Maybe you might have a male frined who your close to who might be a potential date material. i dont know.
     
  7. Da_Vamp

    Da_Vamp New Member

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    HI Michelle,
    I felt the same way you did! And about the time I STOPPED looking, I found him or should I say he found me. and I"m happier than I've ever been!!
    Just don't give up, he's there!! I promise!!

    Vampie
     
  8. tina

    tina New Member

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    hi michelle... been there and literally gave up on dating alltogether for a month shy of 2 whole years... it was kind of different for me because i have kids and men usually don't take well to that... but when i wasn't even looking for it life gave me a big surprise and my current boyfriend (who had been working at the same company as me for 5 months) strolled into my cubicle and asked a stupid question and that was that... we have been together for 6 months now and are very happy - he met my kids already and everyone gets along...

    we have a great relationship and i kind of attribute that to my being alone for a bit and getting to know myself and like myself... yeah i know, kinda sappy but i guess what i'm trying to say is don't despair, i'm sure you are a great person and there is someone out there for you, life though is a practical joker and doesn't give in when we want it to, it rather surprise us when we are way down in the dumps... it brought me my guy when i was sure the person for me had been killed in a train wreck or something so just hang on and try to enjoy being alone (easier said than done trust me)

    and it's not to say that everything with my guy is perfection... i still have some minor sexual concerns and him and i have already talked about it...
     
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