I get numb right before sex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Seprofyt, May 15, 2008.

  1. Seprofyt

    Seprofyt New Member

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    Hi everyone

    I have been stalking around on this forum for a while, and all the time i have had one problem that i don´t know how to "solve" even though i have read the advises

    well here it goes:
    I am not a very experienced person, i have been with a girl a few times, and then only some heavy petting. But my problem is, that whenever i am alone with a girl, and we start touching each other. I become almost complete numb at my penis.

    i have read a few of the threads around here, that states that if you masturbate alot and do it a bit rough, it can affect it ( i think i do that, so i can solve that just by stopping with that)
    the other solution could be that it is psychological and i think it is that which is my problem. The last time, i tried to just lean back and "feel" it. and i got a bit of the feeling back again, but only in short "bursts"

    can anyone else see anything else that i can do?
     
  2. Dreama

    Gold Member

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    I've a feeling that you're just nervous, and have performance anxiety. Only you can deal with that- you've got to learn to relax yourself more. You might want to get a professional opinion, also. It could be something medical.
     
  3. Seprofyt

    Seprofyt New Member

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    i am quite certain it is not medical, because i have no problems when i masturbate, it happens the second a girl is involved :)

    i am not afraid of performing well (even though i think my penis is a bit small, which might be the psychological problem?)

    i am one of those who always have wished that my partner gets an orgasm no matter what. So pehaps i am just wondering to much if they are enjoying it :S
     
  4. Dreama

    Gold Member

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    Well, that's what I would call 'performance anxiety'. If it's reassurance you need, just ask your partner what they like and what they don't like. That way there's no room to feel anxious about it.
     
  5. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    It may not be psychological but physical. If you have a lower back injury such as a herniated disc in your lumbar region it could affect the spinal nerve that serves that region of the pelvis which is an explanation for the sensation. Also it might be a blood flow issue or an issue related to medication. In any event before resolving yourself to it being psychological it might be worth seeing your family doctor to have it investigated.
     
  6. Seprofyt

    Seprofyt New Member

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    hmm i have never had any injuries of that sort :) i have only broken my wrist and a few concussions. (im only 18, so its not that i have had a long life to get maimed in :p

    i just dont understand how it can be anything other then psycological since i have no troubles while masturbating, and i just have to relax, and think about the feeling and then i can feel it again :p :) well i guess i will visit my doctor anywway just in case. However i doubt its a physical problem
     
  7. Bluesy

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    If you aren't experiencing any problems while masturbating, it's definitely a psychological issue. No need to see a doctor. A counselor could help you work through the anxiety...or maybe you'll learn some relaxation techniques on your own (I'm sure you could find a few exercises on the net). It will get easier, you'll stop becoming desensitized, once you've had a successful encounter or two.

    If your penis is 5-7", you're average and definitely not "small". Not to mention, a woman's vaginal nerve endings are concentrated in the first 2-3" of the vagina...so, you see, you don't need much to do a great job! Something else that might put your mind at ease: 80% of women can't have a vaginal orgasm, so a skilled tongue (cunnilingus) is worth far more than a big dick. You may put your penis insecurities to bed now.

    Good wishes to you!
     
  8. Seprofyt

    Seprofyt New Member

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    hmm okay thank you :p
     
  9. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Oh, you always beat me to it, chicklet. :p I was going to say the most sensitive areas of the vagina are the outside and a couple inches inside, all of which is within easy reach of a soft, warm, and wet tongue. Lick that girl until she comes so many times she can't remember her name...after having her twist, wiggle, and writh under your mouth several times she'll be begging you to penetrate her. It won't matter if you come within 30 seconds if you've already given her a few orgasms with your mouth. And it'll all just get better from there. No more performance anxiety for you, my friend. ;)

    BD
     
  10. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Get it so that you and your girl can talk freely about sex. And then ask her for help. Agree to have a session where the only sex will be a blow job that she gives you. Maybe for a couple sessions. Just to help you get over this numbness barrier. If she loves you she'll understand. After a while you'll get more comfortable, and you can move on to full sex.
     
  11. yikez

    yikez New Member

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    sounds like ur nervous to me.
     
  12. Seprofyt

    Seprofyt New Member

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    Well it have been a while since i last wrote :p
    i managed to be with a girl and i could actually feel again :p it was quite nice to be able to experience it all.

    so it was psychological
     
  13. Mr. G

    Mr. G Member

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    Glad to hear it's all solved :) ..And thanks for letting us to know as too many just pump in and tell about their problems and never bother to tell us the conclusion.
     
  14. Seprofyt

    Seprofyt New Member

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    hehe no problem at all
    i think it helped because the one i was with, was one i had told about my problems before (before the relationship accelerated) and since i knew the other part knew it, then i had no stress about it :p