"I don't have time to date" - WTF

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by HotForHoney, Jan 18, 2014.

  1. HotForHoney

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    I met a guy (sorry boys). Before we met he said he doesn't have time to date.

    We met on Sunday, went out Tuesday for a quick (2 hour) dinner. Thursday we hung out for 4 hours.

    Friday he said he didn't have time to date.

    WTF does that mean?

    He broke up w exgf in May, they were together 5 years. He said I'm the first girl he dated since.
     
  2. backcheck64

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    That means he doesn't have time to date YOU. Sorry
     
  3. boobjob

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    Sorry Hfh.
     
  4. lbushwalker

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    Then he ain't worth it!
     
  5. ginger

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    To me this means....

    He does want commitment, does mind meeting up (prop for sex) and does want to date best find someone with red hair ;)
     
  6. HotForHoney

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    I know he wants it - he's told me.
    After the first meet when discussing meeting up again, I asked if he meant dinner, he said. "Or something more physical". I told him I didn't like meeting for physical. He said "dinner it is".

    After the third date, we were discussing meeting again, he mentioned not having time to date (again). Then he said he wanted it, I said I wanted to wait until he had time, he said it might go slow. I said so we go slow. He said ok.
    We were talking about it last night too and he said we have time for that.
     
  7. lbushwalker

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    I think that he is not yet ready for another relationship.
    Sure he will take uncomplicated sex but nothing more right now.
    HFH you need to assess if he is worth waiting around for or not and if your conclusion or instinct is in the negative then move on.
     
  8. HotForHoney

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    Not like there is a line if guys at the door.
     
  9. lbushwalker

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    That may be so but speaking from experience I know how he feels about the reluctance of jumping into another relationship when not yet ready. The best you can hope for realistically right now is for a mutual FB relationship...mostly on his terms!
    If you can handle that without feeling short changed then ok.



    his terms
     
  10. HotForHoney

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    He's not getting the F until he "has time".

    If he just wants a FB, why text so much - get to know each other stuff, not just sex?
     
  11. lbushwalker

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    That's because he "sort of" wants a relationship but then when there is a chance it may take off he feels reticent and backs off. I guess another way of putting it is slow burn with an occasional breeze causing a flare up which then dies down again. It took me almost 4 years and three people with lots of sex to finally feel that it was ok.
    I hurt them all in some way but not out of any desire to do so in fact quite the reverse; I should have been more up front but then I wasn't sure in my mind where it was going either.
    I knew clearly what I did not want but not sure what I did want!
     
  12. backcheck64

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    Dear, he's playin you. Get out before you get hurt anymore.
     
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  13. lbushwalker

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    That's right you are his first tentative toes in the waters after the end of his last relationship and he is not burning to get into another.
    Save yourself some grief and do as BC64 suggest; vamoose and if he still really wants you he will make some positive moves or not as the case may be.
     
  14. sandwich

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    Am I getting this right? He doesn't have time to date, but he has time to fuck?

    You seem like you are interesting and engaging, and if you don't want to give it up right away, then surely there will be someone who will like all of you. It will happen. I can't tell ya how many guys I went out with who said "see ya" as soon as they realized they weren't going to get to fuck me as soon as they wanted. Obviously, none of them actually came out and said that, but it was pretty plain to me what was going on. Every now and then one would be real with me and say he really only wanted sex, but usually there was some dancing around the issue to see if they could get sex out of me without coming out and being direct about it.
     
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  15. HotForHoney

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    I hate playing games - waiting two days after a date, etc.

    Thinking about it, although he does converse w me, I'm the one to start. Guess I have to let him come to me a little more.
     
  16. almostthere

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    What a dick. if you don't have time to date then you don't have time to f*** with somebody head either
     
  17. Mikey22

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    Waiting two days and you have to start the conversation, This aint right,No time for him to date, This is BS!, He is just interested in whats between your legs, A man that is interested would converse with you daily,Maybe multible times. He would be looking forward to getting to know you first.

    I feel like all the above. Cut it off. Before you get hurt worse. I understand there is not a line of men at your door,But no man is better than the wrong man. The right one will come along. Be patient and good luck.
     
  18. boobjob

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    There is nothing wrong with having a fuck buddy IF and only IF you are OK with that. Be strong. Tell him what you are interested in and if he "doesn't have time" then dump him.