I could use some assistance..

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by zombieguy13, Feb 28, 2012.

  1. zombieguy13

    zombieguy13 Member

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    Greetings.
    I'm not around these parts much these days, but I'm hoping to catch some advice if you are all feeling so kind.

    I'll try to keep this from being massive in explanation, but I'm usually a sucker for details.

    On to the point..

    I have a lot of trouble talking to women. Once I've befriended them, sure I can talk to them and be friends and everything is fine (the friendship usually being started by the other party, for the reason stated above). Outside of that however, there's not much in the way of interaction.

    Obviously I've had few relationships because of this, and the ones I have had I was the one asked out, and it was by a female I was already friends with.
    These problems were mostly caused by self-esteem issues in the past (being morbidly obese your whole life can sometimes do that to you). Recently however, I feel as tho I've bettered myself immensely, and I'm much more confident now (still working on it), tho to my dismay I still can't even approach you ladies.

    So what works well when it comes to meeting somebody you may have an interest in? Would anyone have any suggestions on how to go about introducing yourself? I'm not the best with small talk, and you ladies are all so pretty and soft my mind always first jumps to sex and snuggles, which I doubt are the best topics to bring up the first time you meet someone.

    Any help would be appreciated, but thanks regardless.
     
  2. backcheck64

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    I just walked up to women and started talking. Got dates out of 65-70% of them. You've just got to be confident and display that.
     
  3. zombieguy13

    zombieguy13 Member

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    Talk about what? What common ground do you have with someone you've never met?
     
  4. Meee

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    There's always:

    The Animal House Method
     
    #4 Meee, Feb 28, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2012
  5. 12barblues

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    here's what u do....you stop worrying about it , zombieguy.....i mean think about it ..what do u have to lose exactly? if you DONT try and talk to her, what will the end result be? (you get nothing)...if you TRY and talk to her , one of two things will happen......either you get nothing, or you start a great relationship of some kind,,.....my point is...there is no scenario that ends worse than you getting nothing.(and you already have that)..so what do you stand to lose by trying....its a win-win situation....just let it all hang out and be yourself....

    and when i say "you" i dont mean you in particular zombieguy...
     
  6. 12barblues

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    better yet.....scratch anything i may have said.....:lol
     
  7. zombieguy13

    zombieguy13 Member

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    I just haven't been sure what to open with. I spoke with a friend of mine about this as well, she suggested some pick up lines straight out of one of my favorite comedies, saying if they didn't get the reference it probably wasn't meant to be anyway. (Which I'll add the Animal House method to, so funny.. lol)

    You're right tho I suppose. I just have to get over that awkward first introduction speed-bump. Maybe I'll just give it a shot next time I'm out... I think too much. :/

    Thanks btw everyone. :)
     
  8. pbs

    pbs
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    One of the best ways to get a conversation going is to ask her questions about her favorite subject - herself. Ask her about how she spends her spare time, what she likes, etc. The best conversationalist is a good listener. By the way, it's a good idea to actually listen to what she says, and ask follow up questions. If she catches you ignoring her, it's usually over.
     
  9. tanyapatterson

    tanyapatterson New Member

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    [FONT=georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif]Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
    [/FONT]
     
  10. almostthere

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    Try humor. Ladies love a guy who can make them laugh. Like someone said what's to lose. Talk about anything in ref to where you are. I flirt a lot and if they blow me off, who cares.
    Next!
    Pbs is right. Most woman will keep rollin once you get them started. And make eye contact
     
    #10 almostthere, Feb 29, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 29, 2012
  11. backcheck64

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    Anything from what she's wearing, a freaky dude standing in a corner, to the weather. It doesn't matter (unless you open with your STDs). Get her to open her mouth and follow along. I've opened with "care to have a cheap meaningless relationship...and it's worked.
     
  12. mikeh

    mikeh New Member

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    I agree with 12barblues and almostthere.

    You've got nothing to lose. I've been blown out by more woman than you can fit in a football ground, but I've also had my fair share of hits. So just relax, don't worry and act natural. But if you can use humour then you are half way there.
    Get anyone to laugh and they will relax and warm to you.
     
  13. Stimpy

    Stimpy New Member

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    Or you could go with the simple tried and true, "Hello" and follow up with something else simple "How are you" "Are you having a good time here" etc. etc. then introduce yourself and don't be too pushy for her name, but when she gives it to you, remember that shit like your life depends on it! And be careful with eye contact. First meets are not the time for long lustful gazes. Give just enough to show confidence but not so much that you become a creeper. If you use "pickup lines", use simple humorous lines, nothing too crude and nothing immediately sexual, unless of course it is obvious that she is a slut and you are just looking for some ass.

    Shit is much more complicated than it needs to be. Me, I prefer the blunt straight forward approach.
     
  14. hoonos

    hoonos New Member

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    Try asking the little guy posting on these boards whose penis is so large he needs to use a wheel barrow to move it from one side of the street to another. He can give you pointers, but you will need to find a way of keeping any love interest you may acquire away from him because his "allure" is so great many men just give their wives to him in defeat.:lol
     
  15. Alwayslearningsex

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    I can sum up what you have to do here:
    Just do it, take your chances.
    I am one that needs a lot to talk to ask someone I'm interested in but last times I did, my heart was pounding, my mind was racing, wondering if it was going to work. Well, IT DID !
    There is nothing special about me but if you think someone likes you, go for it. If she turns you down, at least you tried and you learn, don't use a few rejections as a reason to give up ever.
     
  16. 12barblues

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    well said...
     
  17. 12barblues

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    ok dude ,I just looked at your album......and dont take this the wrong way, 'cause i'm straight, but youre a good looking guy with a good build and your hung....so just go up and say "hi"....the positive responses will far outnumber the negative ones i'm sure....just go for it!!
     
  18. lbushwalker

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    After reading 12B above out of curiosity I did the same and if those pics are still current then dude you have some physical aces so forget the physical and work on the confidence side of the equations. I suggest first of all banish sex from your thinking when approaching a woman; go meet the "person" then when you get beyond intros then expand but again limit your expectations. Over time you will feel more comfortable and progress.
    Guys who score first up have it down pat and often this has taken a long time to perfect so do not expect similar results overnight.
     
  19. zombieguy13

    zombieguy13 Member

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    Thanks for all the advice everyone, and the compliments. I'll be over analyzing all this tomorrow, I need some sleep now tho.

    Thanks again all. Good night.
     
  20. mikeh

    mikeh New Member

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    I think all the advice is pretty good and it comes down to the one simple old saying. Throw enough shit at a blsnket some is bound to stick. So just put yourself out there, keep trying and don't worry it every one isn't a success, the next might be.

    After all, most the thrill is in the hunt.