I completely fail to see

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by loveit247, Dec 1, 2010.

  1. loveit247

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,241
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Cape Town
    the point of an "adult" forum where debates and discussions are not allowed to happen! What is the point of seeking out a more "liberal" forum in which to have discussions and air opposing view points if there is a constant Mommy like supervision telling us what we can and can't say?

    If everyone is abiding by the rule and not name calling then why shut down a thread that has naturally evolved. I happen to enjoy learning about others view points and chiming in with my own. I couldn't give a continental stuff if someone disagrees with me, as long as it is civil.

    It is no wonder that old members are jumping ship if this is how this forum has become. In the short time I have been back all I have seen is huge amounts of moderation where it shouldn't be and none where it is desperately needed.

    I am going to ask that RULES are stuck to and the need for a Nanny State dropped. It is tiresome. Ban me if you will.
     
  2. Jonger84

    Jonger84 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2010
    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Dont know what was the reason behind opening this topic .. but as I am new here I guess I totally agree with you.

    Unless there is a direct harm to someone .. no need for interference.
     
  3. loveit247

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,241
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Cape Town
    That is exactly what I am trying to get across. In normal conversation topics evolve and new points of discussion come up. Why is there this hard and fast rule of "please stick to topic or we will close the thread". I have seen so many good forums go down due to click happy moderators.
     
  4. too_thick

    too_thick Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2010
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    That's because some of the people that come here do not want to deal with it, that is why. Plus it may spill out in to other fourms
     
  5. johndeeregirl

    johndeeregirl New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2010
    Messages:
    570
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Illinois
    if you have a good spin off topic.. start a new thread ;)

    ETA: MOST forums will request that participants stay on topic or will just start deleting the irrelevant posts
     
  6. loveit247

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,241
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Cape Town
    But starting a new topic has no relevance if it is just randomly popped up.

    Try and follow me here, not talking about drama, not talking about fighting, not talking about name calling, talking about discussion. Why can we not do it?
     
  7. Jonger84

    Jonger84 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2010
    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Are we talking about relevance .. or about red lines ?!! cause other than direct harm to someone , I think we shall not have red lines here
     
  8. loveit247

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,241
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Cape Town
    Red lines?
     
  9. SWGirl

    SWGirl New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2010
    Messages:
    369
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    IN
    The only strict moderation I've seen here is in 2 particular forums:
    1. Do women look for affairs with married men
    and
    2. Incest: something or other.

    The moderation in the first one was necessary to keep people on the topic at hand. Keeping people on topic is very important in forum management because otherwise you'd have one or two huge threads that were endless and had disorganized people talking about everything under the sun. It's not a chat room, it's a forum. It also keeps discussion concise and pointed.
    The incestuous thread had to be closed because it was illegal. I talked to Steve about it and he said that in all 50 states, direct incest is actually against the law. So, being an illegal topic of conversation between people who may or may not be engaging in it, the moderation letting it be would serve to both give the appearance that they condone illegal activities, and give those who do engage in it an opportunity to incriminate themselves. So, the forums administration is legally obligated to step in.

    Other than that, I haven't seen anything to cause suspicion from the moderators, or "over-moderation". I think they're doing a fine job.
     
  10. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    Loveit24/7: I see both sides of this. I do agree that over moderation kills the mood of the community, and makes people want to leave. But in the thread I presume you specifically speak of, I understand the reasoning behind asking for people to get back on topic. Yes, the debate we were having was related to that topic, but it wasn't on topic. At first I got annoyed that we were being told to drop it, but after a few moments of thought, it made sense, and I wasn't annoyed anymore. We weren't/aren't being told we cannot debate things. We're being told we need to keep things on topic, and if we have a tangential topic to speak of, then the simple solution is to make a new thread with a link back to the originating thread to bring people up to speed, and go from there. It's really not a matter of treating us like kids as much as a matter of keeping the thread from being hopelessly derailed.

    As for the incest stuff, I am not in any way arguing with the rules here, but I do know that there is no law against talking about incest, stories about incest, or even drawings and such involving incest, as long as it is all fictional. There are plenty of comics, stories, and porn involving fictitious incestuous situations that are made here in the states, and are in no way breaking the law.

    That said, the rules are the rules. If the people running this place would rather just not have incest topics be spoken of, then so be it. I'm sure they have their reasons.
     
  11. loveit247

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,241
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Cape Town
    I am not talking about the incest thread. I am all for threads that discuss illegal acts being closed.

    What I am talking about is not allowing a perfectly cordial discussion to continue because it is, GASP, not EXACTLY what the OP asks. I am a member of another forum where threadjacking is totally acceptable and fun and interesting, as long as no one is being hurtful. I have learned some AMAZING things through threadjacking.

    I was really enjoying Steves posts as they were educating me and bringing up points that I had not thought of before. Now to close that thread because ADULTS were discussing a topic is very childish in my opinion.
     
  12. SWGirl

    SWGirl New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2010
    Messages:
    369
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    IN
    I only remember Steve putting up 2 posts: one clarifying the whole psychological stance on cheating, and the other was a movie quote from The Departed, and was very much "on topic".

    I know what you're saying. When people get into it and debate in a thread, it flows and turns into something else entirely; and several good and enlightening things come from that. And if you try to clarify it by beginning another thread, the discussion and debate loses a little rhetoric and momentum and hardly ever seems to come full circle. But I think that it's a necessary evil in order to keep the clean, easily manageabe, easily searchable, easily navigated, and user friendly structure of "the forum" that we are all used to.
     
  13. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    This place would be very boring if that were done, since in most states anal sex is illegal, sex toys are illegal, and many other things that are discussed here are illegal. The only thing we'd be able to discuss openly was missionary style sex pretty much. There is a huge difference between fiction and reality, or even discussing an act and actually doing it. But I digress...

    Again, I'm not arguing with you, I understand your POV, but not all forums accept or appreciate threadjacking. In fact most forums I've been on discourage it because of the fact that it gets too damn hard to follow the original topic amongst all the off topic banter. I don't know what else to say really.
     
  14. loveit247

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,241
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Cape Town
    Yes, and he got reprimanded for one of them. I found both posts very interesting and enjoyable.

    And Texas Red. I am very lucky to live in a country where sex toys and anal sex are totally legal!
     
  15. Jonger84

    Jonger84 New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2010
    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    LOL

    You are lucky I have seen this with my own eyes ;)
     
  16. Texas_Red

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2010
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    Indeed. :)
     
  17. johndeeregirl

    johndeeregirl New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2010
    Messages:
    570
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Illinois
    if you get a spin-off topic, multi-quote the posts, make a new thread

    then go and insert a link to that thread in the old thread & a "hey guys, let's continue this here" & let it get back on topic

    the moderators here are quite reasonable compared to other forums I have been on.. they are fair and we want LOTS of threads not a 527 page thread that has discussions about everything under the sun because they all are somehow related ;)
     
  18. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    What she said. If you want to continue a discussion that if an offshoot of the original topic, by all means, start a new thread.

    Loveit, you've been here long enough to know the mods quite well. Can you think of any reason why they would do something just to piss you off? The reason I ask is, you are taking things way too personally. It's not just you that was told to stay on topic yet, you are the only one that has a problem with it.

    Girl, ya gotta let some shit roll off your back or you'll never be happy.
     
  19. Northside

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2009
    Messages:
    751
    Likes Received:
    316
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Colorado
    Once I posted something that one of the mods thaought was a bit harsh. Me harsh? I discretely pm ed the mod. Me discrete? Anyway, the mod graciously agreed that I was right to post what I wanted and restored my post. I feel strongly that no posts should be disallowed for content that's legal here. I don't see that happening. Personally I feel it's rude to "hijack" a thread. It's easy to stray a bit from the original topic, and I've done it myself. That "evolution" actually stops the topic from being fully discussed. If the mods try to get things back on track, good for them.

    I'm not so happy with this forum as of late but not because of the mods. I am surely not known as an ass kisser or leg humper around here, but I think the mods do a great job and deserve a vote of thanks!
     
  20. loveit247

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    1,241
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Cape Town
    Not taking anything personally. I just find Nanny Modding pathetic and it has destroyed many good forums. I think "rules" need to be relaxed so that normal flow of conversation can continue and discussions can evolve. I hope that they take the tips that I am throwing out and maybe use them.