I can't cum and i'm male

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by moocow, Apr 23, 2007.

  1. moocow

    moocow New Member

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    I've been seeing my girlfriend for almost 2 years now and since the end of last year, our sex life has gone downhill. I don't know what to do... I have only cumed twice this whole year and i'm 23. It starts off ok, but then i get bored and go limp. We don't experiment much and we don't have oral sex. I don't really mind because i respect her and she doesn't want to do that stuff... But i've found that i'm looking at porn more now than ever. I have no problem climaxing then, but with my woman, i just can't go all the way. It's affecting my mental state too. I'm getting insecure and that's not helping the situation. I start having sex and now i'm putting pressure on myself, constantly telling myself not to be a 'let down'. I do love her, but i think i'm bored. Furthermore, it's making me not want to have sex. I have spoken about it with her, but nothing has changed. What can i do? I really don't like feeling insecure.
     
  2. Indulgence

    Indulgence New Member

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    Either you change up you're routine and fine some new sex positions or it will stay like this,
    If she can't change positions every now and then, I don't know what to tell you.

    But it also could be that you're masturbation is affecting how much you enjoy sex with you're girlfriend. If you see two people in porn doggy style, and you get off to that. Of course you're going to want to do that with you're girlfriend but she may be too insecure, afraid, nervous etc.
    Thats the only answer(s) I can provide.
     
  3. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    From your first post I would say that inhibition is ruling
    your sex life.
    A quote from another person.
    believe me that is a true statement, Quit the "respect" as you call it
    and start thinking of her as a Woman just like the Women that
    are in the porn you watch and get a hard on.
    Treat Her just exactly the way you would treat the Women
    in the porn, She may just love it.

    hiker
     
  4. dan7564

    dan7564 New Member

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    try not to masturbate, for a whole week before you have sex with her. The nire cum that's waiting to get out the easier it is to get horny and stay hard. maybe the fact that your turning to porn more often is thereason.
     
  5. Bluesy

    Gold Member

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    If after only two years the passion has fizzled out, I would have to say that's a pretty good indication that the two of you aren't long-term material. Other than that, I can tell you that whenever a woman stops trying to have a good time in the bedroom, it's generally for one of two reasons: a) loss of libido (due to stress, hormonal imbalances, medical problems, etc.), or b) relationship problems. How are things between the two of you? Strained/mediocre/good? Do you go out of your way to make her feel special, loved and beautiful? Do you focus on pleasuring her in the bedroom? Good sex is a two-way street, and a benefit of a healthy, happy relationship.
     
  6. Wolf359

    Wolf359 New Member

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    Maybe you need to loosen up when around your girlfriend. I read these follwing tips on such a subject as follows: First, try masturbating around your partner, keep up with it till you come, till you can come when around her. Second, try including your partner, and keep up with till you feel confiedent to come in your partner's sights. Third, have you partner give you a handjob, then, if you like, a blowjob till you can come with her help. Fourth, when you feel you can come through sex, try a sex pose that is easy, such as a woman on top till you feel you can come; you can come in her, which is what you should do. Start with woman on top till you can move on to the other poses. Hope it helps.