I can't believe the nerve of my ex!!!

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Firecracker, Sep 22, 2008.

  1. Firecracker

    Firecracker New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2007
    Messages:
    311
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New Brunswick
    It's been a year since my ex and I broke up. My boyfriend and I are very happy. My ex treated me very badly chasing after our mutual friend. He began staying over at her place and never coming home. Before that he would try to grope her right in front of me! Her new baby might be his! He's used to try to break my boyfriend and I up. The way I feel is he's only doing it because he's lonely. I didn't deserve the way he treated me! I am with someone who loves me as much as I love him, someone who treats me well. I am happier than I have ever been! He doesn't care as much as he says. He calls up the friend and tells her how sexually frustrated he is. I told him that we could talk as friend online as long as he respects the boundaries. I know he doesn't deserve to talk to me, but I'm not a mean person. My boyfriend can't believe his nerve either. Just wanted to vent!
     
    #1 Firecracker, Sep 22, 2008
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2008
  2. Katprr

    Katprr New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2008
    Messages:
    464
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Somewhere in Arizona
    Well I can tell you I am friends with my Ex's but there was nothing like what he did to you going on in my marriage etc... Just remember it is your choice to talk with him as a friend, but you also have to realize and be willing to except that he may try to cross boundaries, and if he does know how you are going to handle it at the time.
    My Ex Husband calls me all the time on and off and talks to me about his marriage and yes his horrible sex life, he has tried to cross the line a few times, but I deal with it, and make it clear that I know we had a wonderful sexual life and that I understand there are things he misses about it etc.. We have a wonderful friendship.
    Now if I had to deal with something like that, like my ex while we were togeather groped one of my friends right in front of me , first off all the friends I have would have slapped him, and we would have had a talk. I have complete trust in my friends.
    Also a mutal friend if it was mutal would have never allowed this in the first place.
    He prolly is very lonely, and has finally firgued out what he lost, and wants it back, but then again he could be just looking for someone to talk to, who knows him and who he trust.
    I wish you the best!!!
     
  3. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Sweetie, I'd just be mean and cut the ties with this troublemaker. He obviously won't respect the boundaries you're asking for based on what you've said. Save yourself and your new BF lots of drama, and just cut the troublemaker loose!

    BD
     
  4. Firecracker

    Firecracker New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2007
    Messages:
    311
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New Brunswick
    Thanks for sharing your experience Katprr. I feel sorry for my ex but I shouldn't. He had his chance and he blew it! He said I was controlling when I told him to stop groping her! He said we weren't engaged so he could do what he wanted. Maybe it's best to break off contact completely. I removed him from yahoo messenger, facebook and myspace.
     
  5. FlirtyChick

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2007
    Messages:
    4,111
    Likes Received:
    19
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Southeast US
    Good for you! Don't talk to him again. It sounds like he does not deserve you! :)
     
  6. Vanja

    Vanja New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2007
    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Ex's are ex's for a reason. That's why I cut all ties with them when I break up with them. This guy sounds like a manipulative asshole so don't let him continue his manipulation by pushing the buttons he knows you have.
     
  7. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2006
    Messages:
    6,443
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    Your ex sounds like a real asshole and totally reminds me a lot of my ex. He too liked to flaunt the fact that he was cheating on me. He also used the fact that we weren't married or engaged to justify his behavior. After we broke up he too wanted to send me emails and chat with me online. I tolerated it for a little while, but ultimately stopped doing it. He never really gave much of a shit about me and my feelings when we were together, and I told him in my last email to him that there was no reason to pretend he cared about me now. I understand that you don't want to be seen as a mean person. I hate the idea of being seen as a mean bitch as well. However, you matter. Your feelings are important. Telling him under no uncertain terms that you want no further contact with him is not being mean. It's being honest. Do not let yourself be manipulated and pushed around by your ex anymore. You don't have to be nice to your ex just because he wants you to. You owe him nothing. Don't jeopardize your current relationship because of your ex. You know in your heart that he's not worth it.
     
  8. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    Your caring and giving personality come across in so many of your posts, Firecracker. It's obvious that when you perceive someone hurting, you want to run to their rescue. The world sure could use more people like you!

    That said, I would caution you in this instance to err on the side of caution. This is one time that you need to step aside and let someone else do the "listening" and "counselling". If not, he just might suck you down with him. He is keenly aware of all of your emotional buttons and seems to still be trying to get control of some of them again.

    Glad you removed him from your contacts. Don't second-guess that move! You've got a good relationship with your new SO. Enjoy it! :)
     
  9. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    2,647
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Rose is right! Listen to her!

    BD
     
  10. heelfetish

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Messages:
    7,392
    Likes Received:
    6
    I agree with all of the above. It's time to turn your back on him, as hard as that may be.