I am ruining my marriage because of sex?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Ana, Jun 7, 2005.

  1. Ana

    Ana New Member

    Jun 7, 2005
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    I have a wonderfull husband that I love and a 2 years old baby. I do not want to have sex so often like my husband wants. I am really not that interested in sex for the first time in my life and I know I am hurting him, he thinks that something is wrong and I think that he is going to leave me because of this problem.
    What do I suppose to do??
  2. kbate

    kbate New Member

    Dec 20, 2004
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    If you want to keep him you will have to come to terms with the fact that he is going to want sex, and he will either get it from you or find it elsewhere. It is unreasonable to expect any person to deny their prime instinct (sex drive).

    If you cannot talk to your husband about sex and come to terms, or make a schedule that works for both of you, perhaps something deeper is wrong with the marriage.
  3. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Feb 8, 2005
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    Dixie Land
    I know when I had little ones running around, our sex life became very strained. Five o'clock - he comes home from work - and "he's off". Five o'clock, my work day was only 1/2 over. Even if I did get a chance to get into bed with hubby, my mind would race on everything I 'should' be doing, rather than lying in bed...
    It's hard to reach the balance, but in retrospect, i wish i had quit being the 'room mother', quit offering to watch 'little johnny' next door, quit re-decorating the family room ... you get the picture.
    Take a look at what you are spending your time ( and energy) doing. There are GOOD things to do with your time, and there are THE BEST things to do with it. Trust me, building and re-enforcing your marriage (which includes good sex) is one of the BEST.
    All the other people around you, who make requests and demands will be here today and gone tomorrow.You and your hubby are in it for the long haul.
    What you do with him now, will be the anchor for what you have when all the kids are married and gone, and it's just the 2 of you left.
  4. Logger

    Gold Member

    Dec 6, 2003
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    Dear Ana,

    You are miles ahead of many women, because you see the problem before irreversible events have taken place.

    When you speak of sex, do you mean regular, vaginal intercourse?

    For me, as a husband, my sex drive can be satisfied in other ways. Have you looked at alternative methods of satiation?

    For me, my sex drive is in several parts. One is a need to ejaculate. Another is a need to have hip movement, together with penis stimulation, such as with a doll, or moving my penis on my wife's thighs with baby oil.

    Another need is a feeling of love, while my penis is being stimulated, prior to ejaculation. If my wife likes next to me while I masturbate, and caresses my thingh with her vagina, and works her nipple against my skin and lovingly caresses me with her hand, such as holding my balls, and licks my teats and chest, I feel loved. She saves her inner vagina from any stress.

    Another strong desire is to see a naked woman with her breasts moving around. This can be done through my wife being nude and my wiggling around with her, so her breasts jiggle, or watching porn. I have some massage videos that I watch with my wife occasinally, as my wife sometimes objects to porn flicks. In a very few cases, Porn can create problems, like Porn Addiciton, where men spend too much money getting more and more porn, or spend too much time on porn, or become overly reliant on porn, neglecting the wife; but generally, porn can enhance a marriage with a differencee in sex drives.

    If you post back with more details, people may have further ideas for your particular challenges.

    Is your husband following the Love Diet? Is he sufficiently romantic to do the things that are needed to put you in the mood? How are your husband's massage skills? What about his timing of approaching you?