[Ask a Girl] I am in love with my best friend, help!

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by mlloyd84, Jun 28, 2013.

  1. mlloyd84

    mlloyd84 New Member

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    I have been friends with this woman for the last fifteen years. Throughout most of that time I have always had a massive crush on her, which has now grown to me being in love with her. Up until the last couple of years she has always had boyfriends, but is now single. We are both very close, have never argued and always get on together really well. I am concerned that if I tell her how I feel about her and she doesn't feel the same way about me, it may affect our friendship. Any advice on what I should do?
     
  2. minskminx

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    I think after 15 years if something was going to happen it would have done by now.

    But you must have a better idea than anyone here if you think she sees you in a way that is more than a friend.

    Is the friendship at risk if you approach her about this? Yes, of course. In the end you must decide what is most important to you, friendship or love.
     
  3. mlloyd84

    mlloyd84 New Member

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    well, we did nearly sleep together once, but it didn't happen as the circumstances weren't right for me, but she seemed very disappointed that we didn't sleep together. The other problem is that over the years I've worked away a lot, although she has always wanted to see me and come and visit me. Am quite confused. Another problem is that I am not like other guys, even with the feelings I have for her I have always tried to help her with her relationships when she has had problems with her boyfriends. It is very complicated.
     
  4. Texas_Red

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    Just ask her out. Seriously. Don't propose, don't profess undying love, just ask her if she'd like to go out on a date or something.
     
  5. backcheck64

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    Sounds like you had your window of opportunity and blew it. I'd say it's too late and unless you want to kill the friendship, keep your mouth shut.
     
  6. mlloyd84

    mlloyd84 New Member

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    the problem when we almost slept together was the fact that I was due to relocate to start a contract in Public Health, a contract I knew I couldn't get out of, but I regret not sleeping with her every day that has passed. She knew I was relocating for work, as we almost slept together at my leaving party. I just wish I could explain that to her. Should I tell her?? It's very difficult in medicine, as yoy have to move where your career takes you.
     
  7. VinceC

    VinceC New Member

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    I agree with this, Just ask her out, Don't think about the friendship just think about what you want, I wouldn't care if I kill the friendship if I feel I really love her, I mean, the plan of hangin out with the girl I love and the guy she loves just doesn't work for me, because she'll eventually find someone else and that would kill you, so you'll eventually just wouldn't want to be around her if she's with someone else, so if you think you love her, just try to win her, better to regret doin something than to regret not doin anything at all
     
  8. CaramelLady

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    Ask her out. I was friends with a guy a liked and never pursued it. Turns out years later I found out that he was very interested. So neither of us made a move.

    Eventually we lost contact. I regret that I never told him.

    Don't have regrets. Ask her.
     
  9. lbushwalker

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    If you don't try how can you know?
    Nothing ventured; nothing gained so just do it!
    Tell her not that you love her eternally but that she is rather special to you and have a very strong physical and emotional attraction.
    Those words should not offend and even if not reciprocated will certainly make the meaning clear without you looking like a shag on a rock.
    If she responds positively then maybe explain why at the last opportunity you balked.
    Good luck & don't blow it again!