I am having some cumming issues HELP ME PLZ!

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by sexytime, Sep 1, 2008.

  1. sexytime

    sexytime New Member

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    I don't know what to do here. My friend has told me about stories where he can go on for hours without cumming when he is having sex with this girlfriend. But when I have sex, I almost instantly cum as soon as we start having sex. After I cum, we still have sex for another minute or two, but after that we need to stop since I lose my erection. I really really REALLY want to be able to please my girlfriend the best that I can, but I always cum right away and it is ruining these dreams of mine! Any suggestions? Thanks for any help at all
     
  2. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Learn to use your fingers and your mouth on your woman, dude! Give her a few O's before she even sees your schlong.

    Also, try having her on top riding you...that's usually helps us guys last a long time, and the woman can move her body in a way that feels good to her.

    BD
     
  3. sexytime

    sexytime New Member

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    I do, but that doesn't mean I don't want to pleasure her during sex too. I usually get her to orgasm one to three times before we have sex, but I just want to actually get to have sex for like ten minutes or so, not like one minute
     
  4. Katprr

    Katprr New Member

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    First off, yes use your fingers etc.. on her. Since you are coming to quick, or shall I say quicker then you would like, there are a few things you can do. Do you masturbate? I know that sounds like a personal question, but masturbating helps to build up your stamia. Also you need to learn how to control, in order to do that, take it slow when you feel like your going to come, stop, work on her for a little bit till you calm down some. These are just a few suggestions.
    Also there are cock-rings that work well. One of my Ex's use to use one all the time, they have many of them, ones that also stimulate your partners clitoral region at the same time. I have done reviews on quit a few of them, and there are alot that honestly work well. The thing with cock rings are this though, you need to be semi-erect when you put it on, also DON"T use longer then 30minutes. There are also creams that you can put on your shaft that desensitize it some, which stops you from coming so quickly.
    I would first try all the other options here before resorting to the others, just my personal suggestion.
    One more option is to put your mind in another place once you enter your partner if you seem to come to quick. Dont think about how good it feels tell you calm down.
    Just my dollar's worth!!
    Best wishes!!
     
  5. Morgan

    Morgan New Member

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    This stuff comes up with guys all the time. I think almost every guy I've ever been with has this. It's just part of life. In my experience there's a couple ways to deal with it, depending on a few things.

    One of them is to just get the first round over with real quick and intense. Sometimes you're done in like one minute. And that's fine. Just catch your breathe for a minute and then move on. Start all the way over again. Because the second time around is a lot slower. You can last a lot longer cuz you've just blown your load like 30 minutes ago, so you're not ready to explode the second you get an inch into her pussy. That's one way that works pretty well, depending on the guy.

    Also, if you're not able to have 2 hour long sex romps at this point (because of living situations, busy schedules, etc) you might consider jacking off about an hour or two before you get together with her. You know, There's Something About Mary-style. ;) It's basically the same idea that I just said, it's just that the first quick time around will be with masturbation instead of with her. Another thing to consider for the first time around is doing oral sex. This isn't the case with every couple, but my bf says that as amazing as my blowjobs are, it always takes him longer to cum form oral than from fucking. So sometimes we'll do oral the first time around and sex the second time, that wa we'll hit all of the sexual highlights. :D

    The other way is what Katprr said: "When you feel like your going to come, stop, work on her for a little bit till you calm down some." This can definitely help. In my experience, it's a pretty common thing to be having sex with a guy and have him stop and say "Wait, I gotta hold off for a minute otherwise I'm gonna finish too quick." Then we'll slow down a bit and he'll switch to eating me out or we'll just make out, touch each other, etc. Then when it's been long enough he'll go back to fucking me again.

    Those are the things that I've found to work the best in my experience.
     
  6. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Yep. Self-control. It's hard as hell, but if you can pull out, admitting that you're ready to cum - and start working on her to keep her sexually intense... It's an art of lovemaking. Master it, and you'll be pleasing and being pleased for many years to cum <come> :)
     
  7. FlirtyChick

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    Amen, Ditto, All of the Above, Repeat.......
     
  8. sexytime

    sexytime New Member

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    alright, i will be sure to try some of these out, thank you all for your insight! :bow
     
  9. SDAVIS

    SDAVIS New Member

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    Being an 'older' guy of mid 40's I'll share my problems and solutions with you. For years, off and on, I had same problem with shooting too quick. I mean fast. If the girl was real hot and tight, I would cum after about 3 thrusts. I never got many complaints, but eventually my wife of many years really starting complaining and getting frustrated. Who could blame her? It just sort of snuck up on me, getting worse. Anyway, I finally went to Dr. to get some help. He gave me a prescr. for a small dose of a drug that would help it. It did for about a year. Hell I could go and go. I was ecstatic and so was she, then it seemed to become ineffective, amd now I was having problems maintaining an erection, so this time I went to a urologist. He immediately did some blood testing and gave me Viagra prescr. That gave me good solid hardons and he mentioned that I may be cumming too quick due to the less than solid hard erections. I think he was right. The blood work indicated a slightly low level of testosterone, and now I am using testosterone creme prescr. that will eventually make the Viagra/Cialis not needed.
    I now am rock hard that the thought of sex, have SOLID hard erections and can go for awhile, almost as long as I want to hold it. I now have CONTROL over when I cum. Life is once again great in bed and she is happy with the endurance and control. I was on no prescr. of any kind until this so I am not big on meds, but I needed help. I had tried the jackoff an hour before sex approach, the stroke until close to cumminga nd stop to retrain my reflexes, the stop and restart, and every other gimick I could find. None really worked. I could hold it as long as I wanted jacking off, but when I entered her, the euphoria took over and I came quick. My advice here is, skip the gimicks, even if you are a young guy, and go see a pro, a urologist. Don't be too proud, they hear this stuff all the times and the nurses are probably thinking they wish their guy would get help too. The reward of a solution will be worth it. I can;t tell you how many great sex sessions were spoiled and ended too early because I did not get help sooner. Also, the Viagra/Cialis is tremendous in the meantime. I always thought it was for old crippled guys who were over the hill and just wanted to get revved up for great sex with younger women, but once you understand they just increase blood flow making an erection possible if stimulated, they work very well. They are expensive, but so is an unhappy wife....My wife looks 30 and I can't afford for her to be unhappy in bed. Get the help you need while you are young - I wish I had...Good luck.
     
  10. Kanto

    Kanto Member

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    Consider the possibility that your friend is BS-ing you as well. Competing with him on some subconscious level isn't likely to help.
     
  11. smith1234

    smith1234 New Member

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    good info sdavis
     
  12. Vanja

    Vanja New Member

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    My ex used to pull out for a second and hold the head of his cock... one finger under it and one on top.... he squeezed gently for a second until the urge to cum subsided. Eventually this helped him control it better.
     
  13. whatsup2008

    whatsup2008 New Member

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    first of all do you jerk off often? if so do you speed through it? If so that can be a big cause because you train your body to cum fast so you will need to retrain. THis sounds silly but it works...on you own you need to jerk off slowly and hold off climaxing as long as you can...use lube to simulate the feel of a wet pussy so you don't go back in he same circle.

    When having sex don't start off with huge pumps...ease into it and don't focus on the amazing feelings. When you feel the urge to cum you can stop pumping and tell her one second or pull out for a moment to recover. Usually if you stop the orgasm you can continue on for awhile.

    Worst case pick up some delay cream or condoms that kill the sensation a bit until you retrain yourself
     
  14. qcumbr1

    qcumbr1 New Member

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    A few hours before sextime, masterbate. Then later when you have sex, you should last longer.
     
  15. Old Hippie

    Old Hippie New Member

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    Hi, Maybe a dumb question, but have you tried drinking a little wine. It slows down everything for me.
     
  16. jdtorr

    jdtorr New Member

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    Sometimes alcohol can make me last longer. Sometimes I can't even seal the deal when I drink
     
  17. ncb_truelovers

    ncb_truelovers New Member

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    Vodka is what I tried lately, but wine I agree that definitely works!
     
  18. ncb_truelovers

    ncb_truelovers New Member

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    I do what some girls said here: stop and go for something else. I usually make my wife cum a few times before I do so and that's licking her over and over again (which I do like!). Eventually I'll start feeling more confortable about it and will last longer. We often cum together in the end.

    Sometimes though, and when she's got all control to herself, I'll just cum very quick. But I guess she knows what she's doing and that I'll cum quick. She may want it.
     
  19. Big John

    Big John New Member

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    I have used a product called Pau Yuen Tong. It's a kind of balm that you apply a few hours before having sex. It's great if you know that you will be having sex later that night.

    I used it once while my wife was away on business. I wanted to give her a surprise that night, so I applied it every few hours that day.

    By the time came that night, it was amazing. I usually have a bit of a problem with getting too worked up. But that night I was giving it my "A game" for a good soild hour.

    After a while we were both so tired as sweated that I decided to end it. I actually had to concentrate on cumming to finish the job.

    One word of warning though, don't use too much of the stuff and only apply it to the underside your cock's head. Too much will numb the sensation and you may have a hard time maintaining your erection.
     
  20. nasty

    nasty New Member

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    I would have to say alcohol will help, to some extent. The other thing I can recommend is misionary style, and get as close as possible. Try to nibble her ear and kiss on her neck to help her arouse, also don't go like a rabbit. Take the long slow approach. Deep penetration seems to work best in my experience. Also as mentioned before hours may be an exageraton, unles he is a porn star. My longest was maybe a full hour, but I was way drunk. Stamina can be increased by the masturbation trick (mentioned a few times her "There's Something About Mary".) Hope some of this helps, wishing you luck.