I am bored with sex now

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by antman455, Jul 15, 2013.

  1. antman455

    antman455 New Member

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    I have been with my wife for over 7 years and we been having sex a good amount in those years. Over 2000 times for sure and I was in my twenties. When I hit my thirties my sex drive just drop. Now I don't have sex at all and don't care about it. My wife did get bigger and she feels loose when I have sex with her. During sex and when I cum inside her the feeling is like whatever. I just think I might just be bored with her sexually. Anyone else feel the same way I do? I just wonder if I went with a new girl would it change my sex drive?
     
  2. Meee

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    Well, that depends. In your other thread, you said you take Zoloft. This could affect your sex drive. You also said you had premature ejaculation and it made you feel bad about yourself and made you not want sex. These things might affect your sex drive even if you cheated on your wife, or dumped her for another girl.
     
  3. HotForHoney

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    If at first you don't succeed, try a different hole! (and I'm not talking about another woman)
     
  4. boobjob

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    Stick it out dude.
     
  5. octavius

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    You probably should get your heart and blood sugar looked at as serious medical problem can all contribute to the pattern of symptoms you are describing.
     
  6. luvbug

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    Have you lost sexual interest with your wife cause she got bigger?
    How do you know the next woman wouldn't " get bigger" and the same thing would happen?
     
  7. backcheck64

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    Or get smaller.... My wife's the smallest she's ever been, and the hottest. IT sounds though your meds may be the problem. Been married 25, together 31 yrs and we still have sex 2 to 4 times a week.
     
  8. JonJo

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    Have you talked your problem over with your wife & I mean talked?

    Women like to get sensations as well and if she has 'got bigger' she maybe feeling less, just as you are and not be enjoying sex either.

    How would you feel if she went with another man, who might be bigger than you, because you've stopped giving her the sensations she wants/needs?

    After 7 years you should be exploring all avenues, including medical, before you go down the path of adultery. - and maybe she does.
     
  9. backcheck64

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    Either live with it, fix it, or divorce her. Do not cheat.
     
  10. Anotherday

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    Time to make an effort.

    You can't just sit back and expect things to change.

    A myriad of issues can all affect sex/sex drive.

    Things you can do on your own:
    If not in shape, get in shape.
    If not eating right, start doing so.
    Talk to your doctor about this, it may be your medications, it may be low testosterone.

    Things you can do together:
    Communicate, I mean really talk as friends without judgment or reserve about fantasy, about things the two of you would like to try, and about the things that aren't working.
    Spice it up, find an online kink/bdsm checklist, sit down, and go over it. Find out what things the two of you want to try together, learn about these aspects and work on them.

    You might be quite surprised at what's right there in front of you.

    I've been right about where you are, bored, frustrated, on the verge of a breakdown due to a lack luster sex life and then one night we started talking, really talking, and it was like a hammer hit me in the head. Then came the effort, from both of us, the explorations, the learning, the re-learning.

    Make an effort, take control of your life.
     
  11. backcheck64

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    Do what my wife and I do, cycle, kayak, hike, etc. She'll get smaller in the process, and you can get closer. We rode 35 miles this weekend and we'll kayak tomorrow evening.
     
  12. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    What other stresses are going on in your life? The thirties are a tie where added job/family responsibilities can cause sex (and relationships) to take a back burner.One can get caught up in so many other activities that unless you and your wife put sex as a priority it will definitely fade into the background and become boring.

    Also, as others have mentioned, your fitness and meds can be a factor.

    Cheating may seem new and exciting, but it has tons more negative long term implications beyond just you... you don't want to do that, in my opinion.

    Do you and your wife communicate on these issues? How does she feel about sex in your relationship? Maybe a good talk with potentially exploring some things you are both in agreement on is a possibility.

    I have been married around 30 years and the only time sex came close to being boring was when we started focusing on other things and did not pay attention to our sex life. Once we made it a priority it took off again and it has never been boring for a very long time. We are both in our early 50's and the excitement and frequency we had when young is still there.
     
  13. LadyChristina

    LadyChristina Banned

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    Do you think her weight is turning you off or as others have suggested, do you think it could be the SSRI/Zoloft? My boyfriend started out with a sex drive lower than mine, and it got considerably worse when he went on Zoloft for anxiety. It's a pretty common side effect and if it interferes with your sex life too much, just talk to your doctor.

    I think cheating is a really bad idea and never advocate for it. If you think your marriage is beyond repair, leave rather than disrespecting your wife by cheating. You could try new things sexually (together) or even try new things that bring you closer, even if they aren't sexual. If it IS her weight, try doing more physical activities with her.

    Good luck.
     
  14. 12barblues

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    very solid