I am amazed by all these young people that seem less than educated or adventurous

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by ply, Nov 3, 2011.

  1. ply

    ply
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    I am always amazed by all these young people that seem lees than educated or adventurous in sex. I thought they would be way wilder than we were at that age. Seems they're even iffy on what I always considered run of the mill stuff. Like swallowing, snowballing or skinny dipping. This might be a whole nother thread on it's own.
    Is this just me or my imagination?

    Is there a religous aspect to it? Are people not taught anymore to please their partners is a good thing?
     
  2. FarNorCal

    FarNorCal New Member

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    Re: I am always amazed by all these young people that seem lees than educated or adve

    I'm 22 and until just less than 6 months ago the wildest thing I had ever done was anal with my high school gf. Then with the girl I am with now ( been together about 8 months now) we saw the light. She is a bit younger (19) and on a whim one day I pulled into a sex shop with her and we bought a vibrator and cock rings and lube and such. She is still a little apprehensive to trying new things but I have pretty much let go of any hang ups I had before. I think she is turned on by the idea of snowballing but has yet to flat out tell me she wants to. Maybe with a little guidance from the more experienced generation on what the best things to experience are and how to go about bringing it up to the shy youngins we are with we could take it to the next level. Shed some knowledge Ply, and others!
     
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  3. 1hotmamma420

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    Re: I am always amazed by all these young people that seem lees than educated or adve

    I have noticed that a lot of parents seem to be anti-sex until married or what not. Which is fine and great if you do...but in the mean time, when their hormones are going crazy, they have been taught that its dirty, bad, wrong...so that adventure and curiosity gets surpressed and not explored. People seem to be a lot more conservative. Heaven forbid you happen to mention the S word. Haha.
    Luckily I explored. :)
     
    #3 1hotmamma420, Nov 3, 2011
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2011
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  4. McGumby

    McGumby New Member

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    Re: I am always amazed by all these young people that seem lees than educated or adve

    I couldn't tell you. I've always been a kinky SOB. I did things in my teens that porn stars would blush at. My DW, on the other hand, was pretty reserved, or so I thought. Before we were even married we were watching lesbian porn and she told me she liked girls. At about the same time we were in bed, having one of those nights when you play around for a while, then talk, then play around some more, etc. for hours and she told me she wanted to do me in the ass. I was doing that to myself at 15, so heck yeah!

    We're probably not the norm though. I'd guess it takes younger people a little time to connect with their spouse and feel comfortable with them (and themselves for that matter) As you age and vanilla sex gets a little mundane, you start searching for ways to spice things up. It is funny that with the supposed over sexualization of society and all that, people are still timid in the bedroom.

    By the way, I didn't know what snowballing is. I've done it, just never heard it called that. DW is a little on the lesbian side and isn't into eating semen. She usually just feeds it to me.
     
  5. daletom

    daletom New Member

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    Re: I am always amazed by all these young people that seem lees than educated or adve

    I've had similar thoughts as "ply" but don't have any evidence to support the ideas. My kids are much less openly affectionate than what I recall from their age. I don't mean "kinky" stuff, but things like holding hands, cuddling on the couch while watching TV, making out after an evening together, etc. (In fact, when my son-in-law asked about marrying my daughter several years ago, I actually suggested they should put a little effort into learning to express physical affection toward each other.)

    I wonder if young folks' attitudes is just an example of the way things tend to swing in pendulum cycles.

    My generation - the "baby boomers" and "war babies" - brought sexuality out into the open. We were the first to have easy access to safe, reliable contraception. For us, venereal diseases went from a chronic lifetime condition to something that could be easily cured with a course of antibiotics. The "two-car family" became the norm in our youth, so it was easy to escape the watchful eyes of parents or other chaperone figures.

    We made Hugh Hefner fabulously wealthy. I think "The Joy of Sex", first published in the early 70's, is still in print. We declared the "Summer of Love", created Woodstock, and coined phrases like "If it feels good - do it!", "Make love, not war.", "Drugs, sex, and rock-and-roll". We openly experimented with alternatives to monogamous nuclear families. Listening to mainstream popular music from the mid 1960's to late 70's, you'll occasionally hear lyrics more suggestive, or even openly erotic, than what seems to be allowed on commercial radio today: Jefferson Starship's "Miracles"; the Beatles' "Why Don't We Do It In the Road?"; the running "Sock it to me" phrase on "Laugh In"; come to mind. I'll bet there's even a few of us who think the baby-boomers INVENTED premarital and extramarital sex!

    Many of us adopted different positions as we grew older. We ended up telling our kids things like "Well, yeah, we did that - and it seemed OK then - but it probably wasn't a good idea.". (And this wasn't only about sex.) I wonder if the current generation is simply exhibiting a reactionary opposition, and re-evaluation, to the excesses and blindly accepted assumptions of their parents' generation.
     
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  6. MILF_Rider

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    2 things have had significant impacts: STD's and social media. Relationships are more casual, and vaginal intercourse is more taboo whereas oral and anal sex have replaced it.

    Then there's the concept of friends with benefits.

    I think potentially problematic is the degree to which sex is taken for granted.

    Our kids are 4 and 6, so I'm starting to pay a little more attention... I want to have some idea what I'm going to be in for when these kids start into their teens, because I know enough to know it's different than when I was that age.
     
  7. Dragon_Fire

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    I think censorship is largely to blame. As Daletom mentioned, we grew up with books like "The Joy of Sex" freely available. Cosmo was allowed to actually show real vaginas. Now that's been censoreed and they can only show drawings or sculptures. It is like we've reverted back to the Victorian era in many ways.

    It's ironic because the language of today is getting more rude and disrepectful at the same time as we're all becoming more prudish.

    Thank Heavens for sites like this.
     
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  8. cbrmale

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    My two children have moved into regular sexual relationships, and one thing I felt I missed out on more than anything else was the emotional aspects of sex, not the mechanics and STIs, which is what my children knew very well from school. So I talked with my children a few times about love, sex and relationships.

    In Australia we are very sexually liberal, and there is a wide variety of sexual flavours out there, very similar to when I was younger (one night stands, serial monogamous relationships, commercial sex and so on). There is absolutely no waiting for marriage in Australia, and hasn't been since I was a young boy! Not when I was 17, not now, not in the future! It is assumed that almost all will be sexually active with a variety of partners before they settle down.

    Actually what has surprised me is that the messages regarding condoms are largely disregarded, probably because there's a greater possibility of being hit by a bus than acquiring AIDS from heterosexual sex. So most teenagers are not using condoms and are using other (more reliable) forms of birth control, which again echoes my younger days. With my daughter I'm not worried because she's had a long-term boyfriend and I'm sure she's just had sex with him and he with her. Working in pathology I know this is not always the case, especially with the university health centres (no HIV but a lot of other STIs around and about, indicating widespread condom-free sex with a lot of different partners).

    So that's my take on the state of younger people and sex in Australia, and it really hasn't changed much since I was younger, except younger people today may be more willing to try anal sex, which was rare when I was younger. It does take practice to work out the best techniques, and it takes confidence to try new and exciting things, and confidence really only comes with practice, so I don't expect a 17 year old to be an adventurous lover!
     
  9. pbs

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    Re: I am always amazed by all these young people that seem lees than educated or adve


    This is one of my pet peeves. Sometimes this attitude gets so ingrained in a girl's mind, that she doesn't know how to turn it off, and even in marriage, thinks of sex as something taboo. My wife was one of those girls, taught that sex was BAD, and if she enjoyed it was going to go to Hell, and it took me almost 25 years to awaken her sexually. She still has some hangups, but the major obstacles have been mostly overcome. Her parents were very prudish.
     
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  10. McGumby

    McGumby New Member

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    I agree. It wasn't all free love and wild orgies in the 80's when I came of age, but it wasn't like today. Today, just about anything can get you in serious trouble. It seems that as society has become more open about discussing sex and accepting alternate lifestyles, certain segments have become more and more repressive. Schools, churches and the media are fine examples. There are lots of mixed messages and when you start seeing high school kids being labeled as sex offenders for being with another high school student.

    I was watching the verdict in the case of that high school teacher who had pot-fueled sex parties with her 16 and 17 year old male students. Their parents got up and cried before the sentencing about all the therapy their kids have had, the depression, being outcasts,etc. Really? If my sophomore English teacher had slept with me I would have been the happiest kid in school and a big man on campus. I'm not saying what she did wasn't wrong, but to pretend these boys are scarred for life, their innocence lost, puh-lease! Talk about some goofy messages to be sending kids.

    I also think STDs have something to do with it. AIDS wasn't an issue when I grew up, or maybe was just becoming one, but it was a gay disease. Now it's settled down a little and people know how to avoid the disease for the most part, but it's defineitly had a cooling effect.

    Still it is more than that. There are just a lot of strange messages. Maybe things were better when sex was a bad word and we didn't talk about it. We all pretended we were normal and straight, but got freaky in private. maybe all the frankness and talk has led to a backlash among those that feel guilty about their fetishes and desires. Who knows, but I do know that it must be confusing as hell for a kid being inundated by sexual messages while being told that it is bad and dirty.
     
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  11. GingerPower

    GingerPower New Member

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    I'm going to have to agree with part of this.
    Although, I'm 22 I am in no way an example of the young adults and teens that I believe the OP was talking about. With that said, growing up in a post AIDS/internet world I realize the impact that it can have on the sexual upbringing of many people.

    STD/STI's are properly the number one factor! My generation was bombarded with images, classes, TV shows, parents opinions on the negative effects of having non-protected sex. This can lead to both a confusing image of facts vs. fiction. It can also create fear. But, most importantly (in most cases) it forced us to think before acting on a "free-love" impulse.

    Then we have social media or the internet. Where as the blossoming process used to be much more social, (asking friends questions, talking about experiences, getting advice) we now have the option to use a much more anonymous way to obtain information. Taking the personal touch out of it, and displacing us yet again.

    To top it all off, with so much information out there, with so many ways to get it. Young adults amongst themselves expect everyone to be well away of both the negative and positive impacts of sex and the surrounding activity. Which only (again) taking out the possibility of an open live discussion with those in the same boat.
     
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  12. cbrmale

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    I think in America there is a conservative, 1950's-style anti-sex agenda running, and these conservatives are using the spectre of STIs for something more than they really are to achieve their outcomes (preventing others from having the pleasure they deny themselves). This prevention of pleasure covers a range of issues, from the war on drugs which will never be won to sexual pleasure between consenting adults, in so many varieties of ways.

    We did take the AIDS issue seriously in Australia, where television advertisements at the time told us all to wear condoms. This was a clear indication that we should still have sex with whoever we pleased, but to be careful. Since then, I think we've become condom-weary and the AIDS infection rate here is extremely low. But for sure, I don't see much change in the frequency of sex, the style of sex and the number of partners now compared to when I was starting out in the late 1970s. Sex education in schools is mostly about STI prevention and birth control, which is fair enough.

    On forums such as these I do see a lot of fear and dread about sex from American members, fear you won't find here. But I think the sexual agenda in America has been hijacked by conservatives, and sex has been made to seem like a life-threatening past-time. It isn't. I had more than 100 partners, condom free, when I was younger and never caught a thing. By this stage I've had closer to 150 partners, still condom free.
     
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  13. McGumby

    McGumby New Member

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    Yeah, America is arguably the most free country in the world as far as civil liberties go, but we are severely repressed sexually. The is a puritan ethic that runs deep in parts of the nation. Not all of us are repressed, but I know a lot of people that are. Strange dynamic.
     
  14. Essene

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    Society is as society does.

    It takes quite some time to undo a paradigm set that goes across the board of both generations as well as cultures.
     
  15. GingerPower

    GingerPower New Member

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    As it should.

    Most would agree that extremes on any side of the scale for most subjects never turn out positive. Americans might be repressed, but I rather have repression then flamboyant explodes of sexual acts roaming the streets.

    SIDE NOTE: I honestly find it hard to believe that Americans are repressed. We have a very large country with all kinds of backgrounds. I have lived in many of the Major cities of this country and have found no reason to believe repression. Hard to believe that a society suffering from sexual repression is able to teach about extreme (currently illegal) sexual acts in the PUBLIC education (tax paid, union approved ;) system.
     
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  16. cbrmale

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    This is sexual repression:
    "STD/STI's are properly the number one factor! My generation was bombarded with images, classes, TV shows, parents opinions on the negative effects of having non-protected sex. This can lead to both a confusing image of facts vs. fiction. It can also create fear. But, most importantly (in most cases) it forced us to think before acting on a "free-love" impulse."

    I have had sex with something like 200 partners by now, mostly unprotected, and never caught a thing. Americans ARE repressed when it comes to sex, and the repression comes from over-doing the STI message! Use condoms if you wish, but to be honest sex isn't a life-threatening past time, not even one night stands. But, the only way you will know for certain that you are repressed is to come to a sexually liberal country, which is pretty much any country in the world.

    In my country we have a legal sex industry (prostitution), we have regular sex and nudity on broadcast television in context (or out of context sometimes), we have explicit sex education shows on broadcast television, and much more besides. Once America gets to somewhere like this, when sex is there if you want it, then you can say America isn't sexually repressed.
     
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  17. GingerPower

    GingerPower New Member

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    Cbrmale:
    I think you may have miss-understood my first post. I do not see how making the same if not similar point that you make in this post regarding the "over-doing the STI message" is sexual repression.....

    I move on to say that Americans being sexual repressed and the republic (the Americans ex tear of projecting how sexual or non-sexual it is) being sexual repressed are very different.

    Mom and Dad may be fucking the neighbor and his dog, but they are still going to tell there daughter to wait for marriage.
     
  18. cbrmale

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    That would never happen in Australia. Apart from the fact that most couples live together and don't get married, it's expected by parents that their children will be sexually experimentative and have a number of sexual partners before they settle down.

    Part of the difference is that Australia (and the rest of the developed world) is irreligious.

    As a correction: it should be 'their' (the possessive of them).
     
  19. CosmicEye

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    Thats just what teens want to do.. fuck.. anyway anyhow. Especially men, I was there once. I think as you get older you start to say, 'what can we do to make it exciting and different' instead of ' god I need to fuck something warm and wet immediatly'
     
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  20. Dragon_Fire

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    In the territories maybe, but last time I knew the states of Australia are still fairly heavily censored and prostition is not legal. I can get plenty of porn on the Internet and via mail order but it is illegal to buy X-rated DVDs from within my state.
     
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