I am a survivor of sexual abuse. is it weird that i can enjoy this site or unhealthy?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Notta, Jan 30, 2016.

  1. Notta

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    I am new to this site. Not really looking for a hook up, just ways in which I can express myself when I am excited or about things I did enjoy even before my recovery process began. Does this make me strange? Not sure if I should stay or go? Comments please.
     
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  2. ViolatorGirl

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    I think it's a sign of the progress you're making in your recovery. There's nothing wrong with that at all. Stay if you're comfortable, make friends and all that... We're here to talk and have a good time. If you're not comfortable, don't feel obligated to stick around. It's entirely up to you. But we always appreciate lovely new members :) Welcome to SF, btw!
     
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  3. Notta

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  4. Notta

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    Thank you for your Kindness V. I do enjoy the fact I can express what I feel and not being shamed. That's a work in progress for sure...
     
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  5. CLE32793

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    You may be surprised how many of us have been there and back (in one way or another). Mine was childhood sexual abuse as well as mental abuse. I'm just a message away if you ever need to talk!
     
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  6. Notta

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  7. Notta

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    Thank you, and I know I am not alone it was a big step for me to acknowledge it on an open forum like this. I lost a man I was involved with after my divorce, it was a long distance relationship, it will be two years in may since he passed. He was patient, kind, and loving. He gave me the ability to let go and experience sex as an amazing gift. The last time we were together it was all finally feeling natural, and now I am lost
     
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  8. MissScarlett

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    Not strange at all. I don't like to see myself s a victim but in my past I was raped. PM me if you want to talk more.

    It's part of my history now & has shaped who I am today. Some on here know what happened but many don't because I don't think I should let it be what defines me & a lot of the time I am here because I want to be the sexy person I was before it happened. Being on this site has helped me find that person again. I understand the healing process is very personal & can take a long time but it is perfectly normal to feel sexy, have sexy thoughts & desires & to have needs. In fact that's all a healthy part of your emotional recovery.

    Welcome to the site :)
     
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  9. Notta

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  10. JosephVK

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    not weird, sorry you had to go through such an experience. I hope you can be comfortable once again with your sexual side. I am new here but have already talked to a handful of people and let me tell you, this may be a sexual forum but there are lots of GREAT people on here! if you want to talk I suggest hitting up the chat room when there are people in there, not much sexual talk goes on in there unless you want it to happen. great people and good fun times happen in the chat room!
     
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  11. CLE32793

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    We are survivors!!
     
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  12. Alwayslearningsex

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    I can only echo that there is nothing weird or wrong in exploring and needing to express yourself, actually this is a positive thing.
    I can't help with your abuse, never gone through, but I believe on this site you already have welcoming comments.
    The fact that you are surviving and not closed in is awesome, a sign that you are working on this instead of remaining a victim.
    Sending you a virtual hug (I don't know the emoticon for this)
     
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  13. Mittimer

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    Not weird at all. There are quite a few on here who have opened up about a past of sexual, mental and emotional abuse and in a more rare case, rape.

    Just because your past is a little rocky doesn't mean that the you that you are now can't be a happy sexually liberated induvidual.
     
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  14. Cappy_Dick

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    What she said...

    xx
     
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  15. Notta

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    I know I am not alone in my struggle. I had a few what I believe to be natural experiences before the 2nd round of sexual abuse started. I want to be able to feel confident about myself and how I am with a partner. My long distance relationship with a man I was falling in Love with is over. He passed away, he was truly the first person to break down so many fears. Since my abuse I started gaining weight, was overweight my entire adulthood life, and since I had a fall a year ago had surgery, and then finding out about my love passing, well let's just say the walls are back up, and this will be the extent of my sexual escapades talking a good game.
    Forever heartbroken:(
     
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  16. Josh Olswang9

    Josh Olswang9 New Member

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    I can't say that I know exactly what your going through or have been through, but I can say that there isn't anything wrong with enjoying this site. I don't have any degree's, but I have talked to many people that have had troubles in their lives online and once talked someone out of killing them self. I don't know that I can help or not, but I can give it my best shot if you ever want someone to talk to about it.
     
  17. whybother

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    I hope you can bring those walls down again. Remind yourself that you are a good person and learn that you deserve to enjoy life, all aspects of it. SF is a good place to safely enjoy a little sex talk.
     
  18. Notta

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    Thank you. It will take time but I will be ok.... Thanks again for your kimdness
     
  19. lbushwalker

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    Add me to the list of the above, I think that this is your actual release from the terrible place you were placed in against your wishes.
    You are now embarrassing that which was rightfully yours in the first place but I read somewhere that you said you are a terrible lay which given your enthusiastic attitude I cannot accept as real!
    Notta go; pun fully intended :)
     
  20. billytk1977

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    Just my humble opinion, but this could be very healthy for you. My wife was also the victim of sexual abuse as a young girl. And while she and i have worked trough a lot of that there are things that still make her feel ashamed or weird. She is not the type that wants to discuss what happened, she trys to oppress it and move on like that, but from what i have seen that has stopped or slowed things she is/would be willing to to with someone who loves her. Talking about it, being open and a willingness to see/learn are very positive things you can do to help with the healing process. Glad to see you here and jump in where you feel comfortable and dont sweat the rest.