Husband wants to suck another man off

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by ConfusedWife, Oct 17, 2012.

  1. ConfusedWife

    ConfusedWife New Member

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    I really need to hear from males out there. My husband has recently told me he wants to suck another man off and swallow his cum. He says he is not gay and not bi. He just wants cum. He talks about it all day via text with me. He wants me to write stories for him daily and send them through to him while he is at work. he texts me constantly telling me he wants another man to blow his load in my pussy so he can eat me out. I honestly have no interest in any other man, I am a one man woman. I send his is fantasty stories and respond to his texts but I am doing it so it gives me more time to figure out what I want. If he knew I was having any doubt then he would end us. We have been married for 10 1/2 years and have 3 kids together. I am truly confused. He has just started wanting stories of him being fucked by another man and I am truly starting to wonder if he is gay. He swears black and blue he isn't, but talks non stop about wanting to taste another mans cum. What makes it harder is he wants stories about family and friends. I am not like that. Am I wasting my life here? I love him but I am starting to think we want such different things out of life. I told him I would consider blowing another guy with him, but honestly I don't think I can do it. Plus the fact he gets turned on by the idea of another man f*cking me I find it rather disturbing. I am the mother of his children!!! He says he wants to try it once and go from there but I don't even want to do it once. I am losing myself here and I am worried what I might do. I just want my old husband back and to be happy again. I feel like I am lying to him constantly cos I don't want these things and I certainly don't want to be f*cked by another man. Any advice, thoughts, comments, anything at all greatly appreciated as I can't talk to family or friends about him wanting to suck another man off! I feel like I am drowning and can't swim.
  2. donk730

    donk730 Member

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    Doesn't sound good, he needs to see a Dr. or counseler of some kind..I feel real bad for you going through this, as he definetly has a physalogical (spelling) problem. good luck, and God Bless you

  3. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    My cousin went through something like this..... He wanted her to f*** him in the ass with a strap on. I know that some people here do this and what your husband wants, but my cousin just couldn't do it. And then he started resenting her and it turned ugly. They had been married 10 years when he starting asking her to do this, she stayed with him for 8 more years.....she served him divorce papers last month. They have 2 children....
    My main point is, if you don't feel comfortable doing something, or you feel it goes against who you are, don't do it....you shouldn't do anything you feel isn't right.
    But if you think you can go through with it and not resent him for putting you in this situation then go ahead.......just don't do anything that goes against who you are.

    Hope you the best.....
  4. cook74

    cook74 Gold Member

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    Damn! Hard to say if he is really gay but he is definitely curious.
    If you are in the type of relationship that is exclusive then you have to tell him that, male or female, it is still another person and it is a deal breaker.
    On the other hand, if you guys have swung before or shared dates, or have entertained the idea before in a heterosexual scenario then I believe you should let him have a try at what is forbidden fruit to a married man with kids.
    I mean if you two are not exclusive then what is the difference what sex your other partners are...
  5. Husband_of_redhead

    Husband_of_redhead Member

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    I'd suggest re-evaluating this relationship. Right now you're in a position where you have to lie to him because he's not being what you want. A) He's not the person you want right now. B) Your hiding your true feelings about what he's doing is a road that leads to resentment. In a way, his behavior is destructive to the relationship, but you have to be honest with him about your feelings because not doing so enables him.

    You speak about this from the perspective of the family staying together. Have you really considered whether it's better to have this strained relationship than if he was out of the picture?

    Sometimes, healing a broken relationship is impeded by the fact that no matter what he does the relationship is not in danger or he can come back whenever he wants no matter what he does.
  6. 12barblues

    12barblues Gold Member

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    I'm sorry to hear this. Seems you're going in two very different directions sexually. the thing that you have going or you both , is that your relationship is open and honest enough that he can communicate his fantasies to you....now you have to be honest and open with him and tell him you can't walk that path with him, if that's how you feel....I hope you find a middle ground, if there is one. Goodluck
  7. queenscouple

    queenscouple New Member

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    Is your Husband Gay ? He is your husband that you say you love. You have 3 kids with him and have been together for 10 years, chances are he isn't gay. It seems a bit extreme you are weighing splitting your family up because you don't share the same sexual desires. Curious you say that as a couple you "want such different things out of life" simply because he has a fantasy that you don't share. I don't see how that comes into play outside the bedroom. More than likely what you really mean is "my husband has a sex drive and I don't...SO, lets get divorced". Can you explain what you mean when you say you are "not like that"...like what ? What if you dropped the labels and reconciled some of your views as a "married mother of three" and realized sex is not bad or good, it simply is and what your husband is experiencing is not abnormal, just an evolution of his sexual identity. Here your husband has opened up to you (as opposed to banging hookers, fucking your friends or having random sex w strangers) and in return you hide your true feelings while contemplating divorce as a punishment for his honesty. WOW. I think you need to look inside yourself. Is what your husband suggesting so horrible? Is exploring your sexuality (which you might enjoy ) such a terrible fate. Of course it would be fair game for you to explore your own desires if you wish. The question is ...do you wish ? If the answer is no, then you might want to stop looking at your husband as the problem and have a little look in the mirror. After three kids you probably aren't the woman your husband married, especially with your clothes off. So how unfair would if he were secretly plotting divorce because of these changes YOU couldn't control. You would probably think he was a childish, selfish prick who never loved you or cared about you enough to put things into the proper perspective. Your husband loves you. Accept him for who he is....and maybe let go of some of your preconceived ideas of what NORMAL is...I guarantee your friends and family are doing some crazy things in their bedroom, they just don't broadcast it to the world. Open yourself up a little, give it a try or at least come clean (no pun intended) about how you really feel.
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2012
  8. queenscouple

    queenscouple New Member

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    Of course I don't know all the details and your husband could be the selfish prick in this situation. Do what your heart tells you, but don't let sex be the deciding factor in divorce. Good Luck
  9. donk730

    donk730 Member

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    I still think he is sick, If he doesn't quit pressuring you kick him out as with 3 kids , he s hould not be thinking this way. He will not change until he knows you are serious, I am sure there is somebody out there that will treat you like you want..it may be rough for a while, but in the long run you will be better off, as he is very selfish, and could turn into an abuser..
  10. boobjob

    boobjob Gold Member

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    Sounds like a midlife crisis. Try to find other fantasies to substitute that you can both share. Maybe he can suck on a dildo while you blow him and then you can share his cum with him. Just an idea... He may just be looking for an adventure. Sometimes things get boring and you have to mix it up. Try something new with him. Maybe you've never done anal or light bondage. Maybe a strap on is worth a try.

    I think yo have to be honest and tell him there are a lot of things you are willing to try but it has to stay between the two of you.
  11. Esozh

    Esozh New Member

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    Honestly, I have to look at it from the perspective that all he is asking you is sexual in nature. I disagree with the potentially becoming an abuser - you haven't mentioned anything indicative of that or as a warning sign. All he wants is sexual exploration, which is normal. There is a genre of porn that is exactly what he's been getting at called "cuckold" that involves the wife/female having sex with other men while demeaning her spouse, boyfriend, etc., and then the male significant other sometimes does things with the guy, or cleans up his wife after. It's a very common fantasy.

    I have been the other guy brought in to screw the wife/girlfriend with three different couples. I never let the guy blow me or anything like that, but on two occasions the guy did eat my cum - once out of her pussy, once I came in her mouth and then they French kissed. So yes, I have experience with this, though I have no inclination to watch my girlfriend with another guy. I'm a bit possessive, and would flip out to say the least.

    So in my experience, I would say that unless you are both on board, it's a recipe for disaster. Two of the three couples broke up - the one that stayed together had been doing that on a regular basis, so nothing new to them. You can't compromise your views and desires for him - do what you can to accommodate him, but if you've drawn the line, only cross it if you want to - not for his desires - you'll resent him.

    I do agree, put the shoe on the other foot. What if you wanted to try out a fantasy that would be unusual to some but common to others - like wanting a gangbang or a threesome with another guy. Assuming you told him and he flipped out, how would you respond? Is him wanting to do something but not actually having acted on it a reason to throw away 10 years of marriage? Tell him how you feel, show him your thread. Go to counseling if you must, but him trusting you with his fantasy isn't reason to get a divorce. If he cheats, or goes in that direction, maybe. But a fantasy is no more than a fantasy, so talk to him about it.
  12. slickdick

    slickdick Member

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    This is a great piece of advice!! As a bisexual husband myself as well as my wife, we couldn't agree more!
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2012
  13. AGFUNK

    AGFUNK Gold Member

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    ^This is great advice.

    You've posted another thread almost exactly like this one before. In fact it was your only other post. I've posted what I thought there but I'll reply here as well too.

    There's nothing wrong with what your husband wants. You need to be honest with him and have a serious talk about both of your fantasies.

    I have watched my husband suck a man off before. In fact I set it up and I talked with him about it. It was extremely hot. The second time we did it was with another man and my husband sucked his cock and the guy fucked him while my husband was fucking me.

    It's ok to explore sexually. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it.
  14. igor

    igor Gold Member

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    YES!
  15. sandwich

    sandwich Gold Member

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    Hi. I don't think we've met before. Please take what I say with a grain of salt since I have never been married.

    My first thought really applies to all relationships. When something about the other person is really bugging you then it helps to spend time thinking about all the things you like about them. That way it's easier to put things into perspective.

    My second thought is in agreement with others who have suggested not engaging in sexual things that you don't want to. That might make things worse in the long run.

    Other than that I would ditch the lies because that could also make things worse. I think it's better to put your real feelings out there.

    So I guess this all boils down to three words: gratitude, communication and honesty. I hope you can work it out!
  16. ConfusedWife

    ConfusedWife New Member

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    Wow that was a bit harsh I feel. I have been a committed partner for 14 1/2 years in total and before he married me I was honest about what I wanted sexually from him and told him not to marry me if he wanted more than I was willing to give eg. threesomes etc. You were very quick to judge me and you do not know the full story. Yes I am thinking of divorcing him but actually nothing to do with his sexual needs. To do with his constant lying about other things. Also for your information, I am almost the exactly the same as before I had my three children. I love the way you assumed I have let myself go. A lot of women look after themselves after childbirth so please don't even use that in your agrument. I have stayed the same and been honest with him, he is the one who has clearly hidden his true identity and lied to me. How is that fair? I have 3 boys I am raising all by myself cos the coward walked out on us 7 1/2 months ago and then comes back begging for us to work it out but live seperately for a few months. That coward has done nothing but lie to me about everything in his life. He hides things and then blames everything onto me. How is that fair? I am not judging him on his sexual needs I was just asking for peoples advice if they think he might be gay or bi because he is adamant he isn't. He wants to swallow cum. He texts me non stop everyday about it. He has now even started talking about possibly f*cking another man. We live seperately and he wants me to suck another man off with him and finds it weird that I don't need another man. My husband of 10 1/2 years says he WANTS me to be fucked by other men, including family members cos that turns him on. Even when I tell him that is not a turn on for me. Is that fair? Your response I felt was rude and judgemental and next time maybe ask questions before jumping to conclusions and condeming me. You are as bad as him. Trying to turn this back onto me. I have done nothing but try to support him through this and be there for him.
  17. 12barblues

    12barblues Gold Member

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    Ok then....after reading your last post, it makes more sense...you seem to be looking for a good reason to leave him. Sounds like you have quite a list already. You don't really need for a bunch of forum members to jump up and say, " yeah, he's gay, leave him!! " to be justified in leaving him. So I would say either get some counseling and try to save it, or get a divorce lawyer ....but whatever you decide, follow your heart....not our opinions. Your the only one that really knows him.
  18. Esozh

    Esozh New Member

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    Upon further reading, I have to agree with 12barblues. Sounds like either he's looking for a reason to help him in divorce court, or he could have an identity crisis. But if you get a divorce, do it for some reason other than his fantasies.
  19. sandwich

    sandwich Gold Member

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    I'm so sorry you are going through all that...sounds heartbreaking. You seem to be pretty smart so I sense you will make whatever you feel is the best decision for you and your kids. Best wishes, and if you ever feel like you just need someone to listen send me a message.
  20. AGFUNK

    AGFUNK Gold Member

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    With that information I don't even know why you're bothering to ask other if we think he's gay. If the relationship isn't working out because of other things besides the sexual aspects then you should just divorce him.