Husband passed away.... want fwb but too scared?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by bigred78, Sep 15, 2017.

  1. petergozinya

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    I've been a widow for 10 yrs. Yes time makes it easier but it never goes away. I still cry sometimes via triggers. I also have been looking for a FWB. Initially I hooked up with a women that I met at a Mardi Gras in Galveston.Four months later. We had a couple years fun ( she was a major alcoholic and druggie prescription) and then a younger neighbor moved in and supposedly professed her love to me. It didn't last long. I take BP meds and sometimes things don't work well, She was with another neighbor a couple months later. We're all still friend on FB and the 1st one as well. She still has feelings for me and I consider her a friend. She helped me through a tough time. I moved and sought out old affairs( My married sex life was without for 8 yrs) one in particular. She showed her true colors quickly and dropped her like a bad habit. Go to a bar with friends cut loose and have fun but, let your friends know what you intentions are!! Stop the Craigslist! Unless you really want to be slutty and swing! In that case if you're in my neighborhood hit me up. Actually you can hit me up anytime and you don't have to swing it's really just a fantasy!! Well helpful but, not necessary! Lol!! Maybe we could fantasize together!!!
     
    #21 petergozinya, Oct 22, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 22, 2017
  2. simbablk

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    I've never been in your shoes. That's hard, I'm sure.

    But here's what I want to leave you with: People grieve differently, and sometimes, it's not how others would grieve. Yes you love(d) him, but now your body wants to move on. That's fine! It really is. I've been with a few women that were recently divorced and one widowed that simply wanted what I could give them - sex. I didn't judge. I didn't ask. It happened. And they enjoyed it.

    Enjoy life! Your past is just that. You still have a future, wants, desires and needs. Don't tell your body it can't have something out of guilt. Do it and enjoy it. ENJOY IT (I say that because I know a friend that didn't allow herself to orgasm with sex after her husband passed because up to that that point he was the only person to make her orgasm during sex). You can't stay in the past forever, you've got to find the courage to move on. I hope this helps.
     
  3. BigMur

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    So sorry for your loss, Big Red. I can't even imagine how much that hurts. I can't really give you much advice, since I've never been married. But I would think that just talking about it might help, possibly a support group of some kind. You might meet somebody who has gone through the same thing, who knows what that might lead to. Cyber sex is fun, as long as it doesn't get too serious. You will find a lot of nice people here on SF to chat with. Good luck!:)