[Ask a Guy] husband is depriving me

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Lover4You, May 1, 2012.

  1. Lover4You

    Lover4You New Member

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    Been like this ever since we've been together and im starting to get seriously pissed about it. Im rejected all the time and expected to be done by the time he is which is waaay too soon and if im not then its up to me to finish myself off. I hardly ever get eaten out or even just licked a little, dont get touched anywhere when we are fucking, im expected to do everything he wants which im happy to do but I dont get anything in return ever. And if I talk to him about it nicely, he thinks he is doing a great job and im just too needy. ??? Wtf is with this?
     
  2. 12barblues

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    well...sounds very strange to me......almost unbelievable , in fact...
     
  3. shadowofmyheart

    shadowofmyheart New Member

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    Have you tried..... asking him?
     
  4. 12barblues

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    but can we get more "details" please?....tell us about your relationship....other than sexually....
     
  5. a_high_bitch

    a_high_bitch New Member

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    It would be quite helpfull if you came online more than once.
     
  6. Kaylanmike

    Kaylanmike New Member

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    Don't know much about your relationship outside of the sexual...but it sounds like he is just all about himself. It makes me wonder why you are "happy to do whatever he wants." In a relationship I feel it should be even, in general or sexually. I believe it should be give and take for both parties being more give than take coming from either side...you should want to give to him of course but only if he is willing to give back to you as much as you have given. If you are telling him what you want and he is unwilling he may not be worth much more of your time. It sounds to me like you are willing to go out of your way to make him happy but he is not returning the favor....you are not too needy you are just wanting to be an equal...not a bad thing....and clearly if you are not feeling satisfied, he is not doing a great job.
     
  7. somhairle

    somhairle Well-Known Member

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    Really need to give more details. Clearly you are not staisfied but you tell us nothing more than that. How old is the relationship? Hev you told him how you feel? Have you taken more control?

    So, if you want our help, come back with more. Just now it just sounds like you're letting off steam.
     
  8. thunderseed

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    Oh yeah I second that, it does sound strange.

    I have to say I have only ever experienced this three times, one time was with a guy who was... slow in the head. Needless to say I swear I did not know he was slow in the head when we first met, he was very capable at talking like a normal person, and when I found out I felt like I had taken advantage of him, and abruptly ended things.

    But this guy was like that, acted like a brick wall during sex, never touched me at all and when he did it was very light touches as if he was unsure what to do, and he just laid still and turned into a huge lump of nothing. It was very unexciting, dull and weird.

    The second time this happened was with a younger virgin. So that explained a lot, but even the virgin was really into it, he just didn't know what to do and it was pretty awkward. He was one virgin male that had no natural sexual instincts at all, and I had thought that maybe instinct would kick in, but nope.

    And then this happened with my ex who I was with for the longest time but he had some major mental issues. At least he had some natural sexual instincts, and was easily trainable LoL. I just took complete control whether he wanted me to or not. Maybe that is rape LoL but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, besides he ended up enjoying it after awhile.
    He complained a lot but that just turned me on even more. He was practically never willing at first, but of course that just turned me on even more.
    And the thing is I enjoyed the whole thing too, it was constantly this game of me never being satisfied and having to come up with new ideas to get what i wanted. A lot of my friends don't understand why I stayed with him for so long. I didn't really care for the guy. This was during my sex addiction phase. I was only with him because he really sucked in bed and I was so determined to change that because I thought it would be fun.

    But I seriously would get so pissed off at him. Because he premature ejaculated all of the time, and then immediately was done afterwards and NEVER cared about how torturing it was for me to never get laid. Ever. So I just raped him on regular occasions.
    Even when he was soft, I kept going and would not let him go until he got hard again, and i would just do things to turn him on again real fast. Every single time I saw him, I did something or another.

    When he refused to let me keep up his endurance with regular sex every day, if he even missed one day of sex, he would go back to cumming even if I just poked him on the shoulder, not even exaggerating that. So then it got to the point I had to have sex with him lots of times during the day in order to make him last longer.

    And he was the most vanilla guy in the world. He didn't do sex, he didn't do foreplay, he didn't do anything, just wanted to cuddle, he didn't even know how to shove his dick in my pussy.

    And the thing that made me even more mad was that he said he never even masturbated before and said he didn't know how to.
    It got to the point I ended up having to force him to and show him how to do it. Finally with much encouragement, he began masturbating and letting me watch.

    I basically ended up having to train him to be a sex addict like myself LoL. But it took a lot of hard work. Towards the end he was really into it, I introduced him to lots of crazy things.
    But in the beginning, oh my god, he was the worst guy in bed ever and did not like anything sexual.

    I still remember this one time he thought it was cool to wake me up in the morning and start fingering me. What pissed me off was that he wasn't planning on having sex at all, and said he had to go to work and he just left me there. He just thought it was the coolest thing ever. I was so mad at him and never let him forget that. Guy had NO sex drive at all. Seemed to think that would do it for me, nope, he had another thing coming. That night he had a lot of sexual things in store for him, whether he wanted it or not.

    Not the best thing to do, but many times I purposefully got him drunk. It was the best thing ever. When he was drunk he lasted a lot longer without cumming, and he was always a lot better in bed, and he was also up for more adventurous things.
    But when he was sober he was just really bad. So I started pulling him into public washrooms, and pretty much anywhere during the day to have lots and lots of quickies.
    I began pissing him off by stroking his dick in his pants while we were in the back seat of cabs, or on the bus, or anywhere in general. I gave him constant foreplay during the day so that he was ready by the time we got somewhere to have sex.

    Most of those times though he would be pissed off because he had to do frequent loads of laundry. But i really didn't care because during that time I only wanted one thing, and i could never get it. Eventually I did though.

    I did a lot of things to raise his sex drive and make him more adventurous, but it finally worked. I actually had a lot of fun with it.
    He was so terrible in bed, and he never satisfied me. Yet part of that was what got me off, because I enjoyed the game of trying to get what I wanted. Unfortunately by the time I trained him to be what I wanted, I got bored after awhile and moved on. Yup, not one of my greatest moments in history. But I know how it feels to be with people that are not good at sex.
    Actually all people I was ever with were not good at sex in my books considering im a sex addict, but those 3 were probably the worst so far.
     
  9. Lover4You

    Lover4You New Member

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    Yes I have talked to him about it on multiple occasions. I've told him what I want, I've initiated. It doesn't change. We've been together for 3yrs. Relationship outside of sex had been very very rocky. We are seeing a marriage counselor because we were going to get divorced. He hasn't had a job for 2yrs until recently he started working for WalMart which doesn't pay enough so we had to rent out the house and move in w his parents. He has had a porn addiction since he was 14, meaning 5hours a day just watching porn. Since i had been working, i didn't know until maternity leave for our first child. I've asked why he doesn't want to have sex more and he says he is trying to be responsible which means watch tv? I know its not that he is afraid to get me preg cuz i already am. Idk what else to tell yall cuz its just alot of stuff that doesn't make sense.
     
  10. routabout

    routabout New Member

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    Sounds like the guy has serious issues, I would recommend he seeks personal professional help.

    It's not fair on you, or the baby your carrying.

    The only thing in his defence is that being out of work can lower a mans self confidence and thus his sex drive (obviously he has to have a work ethic for that to effect him).

    Have you got any toys for yourself? If so just worry about yourself and let him decide when he wants it.

    If he dosen't buck his ideas up GET RID before he makes you life and your babys life unbearable.

    My misses has a friend who is going through the same situation as you, the only difference is that he works and brings decent money into the house so she stays for the sake of her kids.
     
  11. AGFUNK

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    If counseling doesn't help and he doesn't want to talk to you you should probably reconsider divorce.
     
  12. Lover4You

    Lover4You New Member

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    won't be able to get a job to support the kids until after this one is born and I won't have anywhere to live until I make enough to do that plus the cost of divorce ugh. So have to deal for at least the next 6months. By then I think he woulda had plenty of time to prove he will straighten up.
     
  13. Lover4You

    Lover4You New Member

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    yes, I have toys but toys come nothing close to actual sex. :( sad.
     
  14. routabout

    routabout New Member

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    Next time your getting frisky with him stick one up his ass and tell him he gets it every time unless he sorts himself out, unless he enjoys it then tell him he will never get it again unless he sorts himself out.
     
  15. lbushwalker

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    L4U,
    Leopards seldom change their spots.
    Very sorry predicament you are stuck in but that does not mean you have to be in it forever.
    This dude sounds so insular it makes me want to weep!
    You on the other hand is way more deserving of somebody who can deliver and make your life happy.
    Despite all the baggages there are guys out there that would take you up in a flash so do not despair ok?
     
  16. AHappyWife

    AHappyWife New Member

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    ^^^ that
     
  17. routabout

    routabout New Member

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    To be honest the fact that your are pregnant shouldn't discourage you from leaving, there are schemes to help women in your situation.
     
  18. Luvinlife7189

    Luvinlife7189 New Member

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    You must not have the right toys ;)
     
  19. somhairle

    somhairle Well-Known Member

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    If he has a pron addiction it must be affecting his sex drive and desire for actual sex. He needs to resolve that before anything else.
    But basically, you have issues other than sex to resolve in your realtionship, by the sounds of it. :(
     
  20. Lover4You

    Lover4You New Member

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    Thank you! :)