Husband doesnt want sex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by squeezy, Mar 9, 2011.

  1. squeezy

    squeezy New Member

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    Like the title says My hubby doesnt want sex.
    I have asked why and if theres anything wrong, tried to talk dirty to him but nothing, in fact he is turning into a prude.

    I have a high sex drive and it seems to be increasing, I love experimenting and love giving bj's but he doesnt want anything.

    He says he loves me, says no-one else is involved but he sits at his laptop and just works on his music. (he has become lazy)

    I have a decent collection now of sex toys and outfits but even those dont do it for him. As for the dirty talk I was told that a lady shouldnt talk like that.

    I feel like giving up, is there anything I can do to get him back on track (so to speak)
     
  2. awakened

    awakened New Member

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    From the little information given, it totally sounds like he is going through depression. Many people I know talk about 40-50 yr olds going through this, although I dont think it is extremely common, i would at least try to have him do a depression survey.
     
  3. cum

    cum New Member

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    I know that feeling, wife doenst want sex anymore or at least that's how I feel. I want to have sex evry night. She is the same also about not talking dirty or any other expriences for her normal sex is me on bottom her on the top n vagina penis is the normal thing. I'm giving up too
     
  4. backcheck64

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    A visit to the doctor may be needed, it could be depression, low testoserone, a number of things including just being lazy.

    I guess I'll never understand not wanting to have sex with your spouse.
     
  5. EscortBunny69

    EscortBunny69 New Member

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    Does he work??? as many men feel very useless if they don't then get stuck in a rut of being lazy and then it snowballs from there.

    Talk to him and maybe depression is one of the reasons...

    Good luck
     
  6. misspsiphi

    misspsiphi New Member

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    I read this and just about died!!! I thought i had written it for a second!!
    My issue is identical... i wish you the best of luck hunny.
     
  7. squeezy

    squeezy New Member

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    Thanks for the replies

    My hubby is in a well paid job and he enjoys it, I confronted him over depression and his mood, he says what have I to be 'depressed over' and sex is just sex and we don't need it, so it looks like that is that and the subject is closed.

    Sorry to hear you are having the same issues misspsiphi, hope you may be able to take some of the pointers and sort it out
     
  8. Kermit

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    Sometimes things don't trigger depression and it's a chemical inbalance. I suffered from severe depression when i was 9 years old, where no matter what...i couldnt' enjoy anything at all, i jsut felt hte painful scrape of time and at times suicidal. Very horrible feeling. I thought it was normal and was called boredom, the "theres nothing to do" was for me "nothing to do that i can derieve pleasure or entertainment" now tell me what does a 9 year old have to be depressed about? I've carried a milder form through my entire life. Symptoms less severe but i've survived three suicide attempts in my life.

    Though try walking around the house nude regularly lol, if that doesn't work...somethings up
     
    #8 Kermit, Mar 10, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2011
  9. squeezy

    squeezy New Member

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    Thanks Kermit sorry you have had such a time with depression

    will give it a go when kids have gone to the land of dreams lol
     
  10. igor

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    IO know a lot of people that are depressed (like me). Both me and the wife are on antidepressants and see counselors.
     
  11. lbushwalker

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    Hi Squeezy, sure wished you lived closer ;)
    Another health related possibility is hypothyroidism which would fit in with the "laziness" or tiredness let alone low libido.
     
  12. TheMotion

    TheMotion New Member

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    counseling or divorce.

    marriage includes sex, period.
     
  13. squeezy

    squeezy New Member

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    Thanks all,
    I have suggested relationship/marriage counselling to him but he says that there's nothing wong with the marriage.
    Sex just isnt important to him and theres no need for it anymore OMG. Not sure how to go with that idea because theres
    so much I wanna try and do sexually and my drive is sooo high.

    Do men just go off sex completely? Im having a hard time getting my head round this.
     
  14. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

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    I'll let ya know
    I think you need to tell your husband that while sex may not seem important to him anymore,that it is to you and it is unfair for him to neglect your needs.
    How old is he? Is it possible this is a midlife crisis thing?
    My husband is turning 40 any day and completely ignored me the last year because he was addicted to this online game.I definitely think he is depressed to,but refuses to get help.
     
  15. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

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    Im seeing this trend develop alot recently. I dont know whats causing it.

    You are like the third girl ive talked to with this issue.

    The funny thing is the man doesnt have another woman they just dont want sex. I can't explain why it happens though.

    My best advice would be to tell him honestly that you arent being sexually fulfilled. Its going to cause an argument but you should communicate with him. It could be that hes busy, or frustrated about something.

    its such a weird trend though, considering that i always want it lol
     
    #15 cheeze, Mar 13, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2011
  16. Kermit

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    Y'know, too bad you're not jewish, i believe in Jewish Law (or somewhere in the Torah) the man is required to service his wife and not deny her sex, interesting how it's phrased, it specifically states the man should not deny her sex...instead of the other way around