Hubby wants & likes me to !!!

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by tester, Jul 13, 2006.

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  1. tester

    tester New Member

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    It's nice to find a site like this with friendly people I need some help with this!!! I've been married for 4 years now, to my soul mate that I love so much & he loves me so much as well. For 3 years now, my hubby has wanted for me to open up from never wearing undies, to showing off, to flashing my pussy and sexy legs. Last year he started getting turned on, fantasising about me meeting someone and having sex with him. I could never imagine doing something like this, but after talking and debating it, he found a guy on the net for me. So I thought, ok he wants me to do it, no problem. I had a shower, shaved my pussy, put my sexy little skirt on with out my g-string, a nice sexy top and drove out, luckly he only lived 15mins away. I'll try to make this question as short as possible, I'm sorry. Ok, I got there, said hello, had a hug and we got to it. First he licked me out & finger fuck me, mmmm for 20mins till I came and then he came to kiss me so I could taste my juices. I told him I'm very uncomfortable having sex, so I got him to lay on his back so I could suck his nice cock. He came in my mouth, I swolled and licked him clean, said our good byes. I went home and my hubby was so turned on, I told him I swolled his cum. My hubby started getting on to me to taste it, he was a bit dissapointed that I didn't fuck him though. Since then, 1 year now, I haven't done a thing. My hubby keeps asking me to do it agian, this time to go out and have a long sex session and then come home to hubby all wet!!!!! What do I do?? Please I don't want to lose my beautiful marriage over this !!! Will it stuff up in the long run or will it be ok ?? :/
     
  2. sarch

    sarch New Member

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    One word: compromise.

    In his eyes, a flat out `no' could likely mean something bad subconsciously. It's unfortunate but that's the way it is. On the other hand, just giving in to what he wants would be hurtful to yourself. I wish I knew the answer here, but honestly there isn't much of one. I'm sorry, I'm still a youngun' :)
     
  3. Jayce

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    Can't you find alternatives to that? Maybe like, just have some dirty talk with him and tell him what you'd do to a total stranger? Maybe that'll be enough to get him rowed up.

    Or... I'd hate to do this but this is a weird situation, but I'd almost lie if I had to. "Yeah, I fucked him all evening!!" when you really just went to JC Penny to look at their sale on purses.
     
  4. Miki

    Miki Banned

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    Jayce had a point. Can you NOT find alternatives? Lying is so dishonest :shifty yet I do it all the time. My current... BOY...FRIEND... Ken, always likes me to be a dirty girl and can be sensitive but this is honestly just way out of my psychological professionalism. Marriage is about monotony isn't it, biblically? I go to church and... yes, I HAVE set foot in an actual church and the Virgin Mary has nothing to do with this!! I go to church and they tell us that when you find that one special person it is a gift from god and that no one should be able to share that luxury between you. I'm not saying adventuring is wrong, but consider it and tell him... If it helps you could tell him we :spank

    :shifty Yes...
    :( Okay, I'm a loser...
     
  5. tester

    tester New Member

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    I like that idea i don't know why i did not think of it, but how would i come home to him all horny and wet , smelling like i had hot sex for the last 2 to 3 hours???
     
  6. AnonymousOne

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    tester .... this is by far one of the weirdest requests I've seen on this forum ....

    I ... I got no advice for you, normally I'd have something, buuuuut, I'm running on no sleep and lots of coffee... apologies.

    Have you two talked about exactly why your husband has this fantasy? Might be healthy for you two to figure out the root of all this ... just a thought.
     
  7. tester

    tester New Member

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    Can i please get some advice from some men & ladys over the age of 25, or some person that has some experiance from swinging or something??? We have talked about it , we do have trust. Just wanted to find out what can happen in the long run i guess i dont want to lose him or my self. I was ok having oral with that guy, just to scared of hubby calling me a slut one day
     
  8. AnonymousOne

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    That .... was below the belt.
     
  9. tester

    tester New Member

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    Im sorry anonymousone just want to get some questions answered , the last thing i want to do is piss some one off
     
  10. Lusty Dreams

    Lusty Dreams New Member

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    Well, I am female, and over 25 :)

    But I haven't ever been through anything like this before.

    I don't think it can lead to anything good for your marriage. I think it is a phase your hubby is going through, and on down the road, it could lead to huge mistrust issues. It could eventually give him an excuse to sleep w/ other women. B/c he could possibly use this stuff against you-even though he ASKED you to. Do you see what I am saying?

    I would desperately find a way around this. I would not be messing around with or sleeping w/ strange men. Your health and sanity are at risk here, and you do not need to risk either of those for any reason. If your hubby loves you, and he knows this hurts you inside, he should back off.

    If you don't like the thought of sleeping w/ someone else for his pleasure-
    DON'T do it. Think about all the STD's out there. Do you want to bring one of those into your marriage? Think about all the mistrust issues, lies, and deceit that can come from all of this.

    My advice-and I have been through enough to give it......DON'T do it.

    You both need to find an alternative.
     
  11. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I'm over 25, and my hubby and I swing. It's all about trust and comfort, honestly. It works for some, not for others. Issues DO arise, no matter how well you communicate, and you have to have a strong enough relationship to work through them, and sometimes to just both agree to move on from the issue with no resolution. It reinforces every compromise you will face in normal life, and exaggerates every doubt.

    A couple of my thoughts, if ya want them. It's a huge sign that his fantasy is something to do with you, that is great. He's not sitting there pushing you to okay him having sex with someone else; he appears more interested in your sexual escapade. To me that is a sign (a good one) that he isn't looking for experiences that are without you, but enhancing experiences WITH you.

    Really think about how you feel about this, YOUR feelings on it only. If you honestly have no desire at all to participate in this fantasy. Tell him. He has to accept that, it's hugely disrespectful toware you not to. IF he will not accept that, you have an issue to deal with that has nothing to do with swinging, in determining why this is so very important to him.

    Now, one of the hottest moment in my sex life involved me going out and meeting a man alone. We went on a sort of a date, ended up in a hotel room for a long session of amazing sex, and then I returned home to hubby. The hot part though was me walking through the door, kissing him hello, and him taking me directly to bed.

    Hubby and I have also built a more communicative relationship and a stronger trust from swinging. But it doesn't happen like that for everyone. There are risks. Your trust and your love has to be stronger than the temptations involved.

    I'm here if you wanna ask me anything, k?
     
  12. lbushwalker

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    Dear Tester,
    I'm at one with Lusty Dreams on this one.
    Suggest sexual/marriage counselling in an attempt to determine the root cause of this fantasy.
    This is not that uncommon a fantasy.
    I have a friend whom I've known since school days who holds a similar fantasy.
    In his case it was progressive in that he was always intensely jealous of any male giving any attention to his GF and later wife.
    Over time & with her co-operation he has little by little overcome this inhibition and to his surprise found that he now gets an enormous sexual buzz by observing situations which would have previously driven him to rage.
    It appears to be a re-channelling of negative feelings but now he has reached a stage of overcompensation such as your guy.
    This could well destroy everything for them and as concerned friend have offered the same advice as here.
     
  13. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    from someone into her 3rd lap of 25-year-olds :rofl

    If your husband is truly attentive to you, to your needs, if he loves you and cares for the future of your marriage, NOW is the time to get to the root of the problem. I call it a 'problem' because it seems you are on two separate playing fields. If this is not something you are enjoying, or care to continue doing, something's going to snap, and that's bad news. The wedge between you could grow bigger and bigger.

    Since it only happened once, and that was a year ago, the 'fantasy' (though it's a 'reality') is young and hopefully not a stronghold in his head. Find a way to get him sexually stimulated in a like manner, without crossing YOUR PERSONAL LINE. Something that you both can enjoy and be turned on through.

    Like Melicious said, she and her man BOTH enjoy what they are doing. So that's fine for them. Every couple needs to make sexual decisions among themselves.... but as a couple, not one person simply going through the motions to please the other.
     
  14. Miki

    Miki Banned

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    :uhh: My god...?
     
  15. Jayce

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    Park the car around the block and go for a nice jog?

    I just can't see why his fantasy must require you with another person. I would think there'd be a way around it... maybe you with a toy going solo in front of him? Maybe that'd suffice? I just don't know, but I don't think I could handle going out and having sex with somebody else to entertain my other half.
     
  16. Joe

    Joe
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    I've got no experience in this avenue and can't imagine sending my wife off to have sex with another guy, but both my late wife and current wife had sex with another guy while their hubbies watched. They would NOT advise it. Both of them said it was the beginning of the end of their marriages.
     
  17. Miki

    Miki Banned

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    I'm not saying that your hubbie's fetish or fantasy or whatever you call it, for you to sleep with other men is wrong, but it's not RIGHT. I'm going to put in some plain logic for you guys. Did you two ever consider the consequences, the risks? I sound like a mom or something but let's get out of the hot blood and get into the world of realism. What if something goes wrong? Like if you aren't on the pill, and you use a condom, and it breaks? Or if start to get emotionally attatched or start to like, genuinely like the person you're sleeping with that's NOT your husband? Did anyone ever think of that?
    I'm a pessimist, depressing the situation is what I do best... :(
     
  18. tester

    tester New Member

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    Thank you all for your thoughts and advice, it has been very helpful. To see things from both sides. It is weird, though that some people accept it when the hubby is there to see it all happen, but not when the wife is there without him?????
    All your thoughts have helped both of us talk about this in a lot of depth. Hubby has realised how he may have been pushing me into something I didn't want to do. We have compromised on it. I have also realised that it was something I didn't want to do. We've been talking about for at least 2years and over that time I sometimes thought "yeah I'll do it". Thankfully all we have done is talk!!!!!
    Thank you again :)
     
  19. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I'm not a judge. Hubby wasn't in the room watching me at all. What is RIGHT in one's sex life is only what those involved in that sex life determine is right for them. My two cents. I have a lover whom I get to see regularly. Hubby knows every single time. On occassion there are others as well. We both always know ahead of time. My answer to "Hey, honey. What did you do today?" is never "John and Sally".
     
  20. blue

    blue New Member

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    Good for you!! Keep it up, you guys. Communication is forever important. I can understand that your hubby might feel "it happened before, so why not keep it on." Fantasy vs. reality is really very different. The reality is that if not wanting to do it, then it's just not there. It's ok to let him know all of that. I don't think he would want you to do it out of just pleasing him while hurting yourself. He just thought you would have more fun. ;)
     
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