How would you react?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by runforyoulife, Feb 19, 2012.

  1. runforyoulife

    runforyoulife Member

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    I will apologize a head of time I ramble off topic easily. To try and make a long story short:

    I am married, my husband and I have been having some issues, kind of hard to explain with out typing out a page.... But.... He has been getting so pissy when I tell him I'm not in the mood and he is wanting to fuck.

    Example: Last night we decided to go out, we hadn't been out in a while, since new years, and I wanted to blow off some steam from school. First of all he makes such a big deal about going out, we are both young yet he wants to stay at home like an old man. Says going out isn't for married couples, bla bla bla. Anyway, he was up for going out for once. As we did, had a blast, danced up on each other, enjoyed company of friends. Had a good time.

    I got pretty toasted and he sobered up before the night ended. On the ride home he was feeling me and was pretty much ready to go. I, on the other hand, was fighting not to fall asleep and drunk munchies. It was almost 3 in the morning, stopped to get food, by the time I ate I was ready for bed.

    This is where he gets angry at me for wanting to go to bed and not have sex. Didn't think this was a big deal since we could just have sex in the morning. But it was a big deal to him. He was furious. Made statements such as "all you want to do is party." We go out maybe once every three months. "you don't give a fuck." it was 3 in the morning and I was toasted, was not going to argue. He even threw out maybe we should separate.

    So, after writing this page length of mess. What would your reaction be? Guy or girl? In my position and his. Was I being uncalled for? Was he? I just want some input on the situation.
     
  2. 12barblues

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    honestly...it sounds like you're in a relationship...that's all. Two people, not on exactly the same page at the same time.it happens....you should both apologize to each other.it's just that simple.... Him, for being an ass when you didnt feel well, and only thinking about his dick at the end of the night...and you , for getting to drunk to be with your husband at the end of the night.

    i will add this because i'm a man and this is how i would feel...
    at the end of a night like you two shared last night, dinner, dancing ,drinking ,flirting, a mans motor is running....(you probably drove him insane with your body pressed up against his on the dancefloor..).. and he's probably spent the last 6 hours thinking about how this night was going to end (if you know what i mean..)..youre a little hottie and you had him worked into a frenzy i'm sure...so forgive him, he wants you...is that a bad thing?

    and from your perspective its simple, you drank a bit much and didnt feel well...cant have sex when youre about to throw up..and he should have understood that...so just apologize, talk about it and move on...no biggie..
     
    #2 12barblues, Feb 19, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2012
  3. runforyoulife

    runforyoulife Member

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    Thanks! That really helps me see his side. I didn't understand why he got so angry with me, but the way you explained it really helps. It just didn't end well that's for sure. An apology is definitely in place.
     
  4. coramfuncpl00

    coramfuncpl00 New Member

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    Personally I think it is a joint problem...

    Yeah he shouldn't have flipped out I do agree with you there...but you have to understand, that, "we can just do it in the morning," sucks, after a fun night, because in the morning after a night like that you just want to relax and recover from last night. Where your having a blast that night, hes pumped up and ready to go and u just deflated him for no finale...I can say, that I as a man, would be annoyed also...We are a young, married couple with kids so having a hard time getting out is something we know is difficult to come by. "All you want to do is party," probably means, your happy and I'm left on the ropes. Also remember that you were both a little toasted and things come out that shouldn't.

    When we go out, we plan what we expect that night, dinner, drinks, dancing, and yes we plan on having sex after...so neither her nor I expect something that the other doesn't...

    I will suggest that if you only go out once every three months, give him what he wants when he gets home, you may find those going out nights will increase if he knows awesome sex comes after a night of partying vs a quiet night at home gets him nothing or a quickie.
     
  5. Dragon_Fire

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    Of course, if you did give him what he wanted and spewed on him that would have put him in an even fouler mood.

    If you only go out once every 3 months as you said, and the rest of the time he gets all the sex he needs, I don't see any harm in him going without just this once.
     
  6. runforyoulife

    runforyoulife Member

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    This is my point exactly. To be honest I wasn't even interested. I just wanted to sleep. Being that he got me my big mac I was in saturated fat heaven.
     
  7. CosmicEye

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    I dont know, I think he may be over reacting a bit. You may have been to drunk to fuck, totally acceptable, Ive been there. He was probly buzzed horny and wanted sex. Ill be honest I would have been let down but I wouldnt start fighting about it and saying mean things like that.
     
  8. somhairle

    somhairle Well-Known Member

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    Bound to be a common problem this one and he could be feeling a whole load of issues. Like rejection, your loss of interest in him or in him as a sexual partner. Maybe you could get around it - when it happens again - by letting him know, in a very sexy way, that if he waits until you are ready, then he is in for a real treat. Tell him what he can expect and build up his anticipation. But you need to deliver when you promise.
     
  9. mikeh

    mikeh New Member

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    Sounds like just a normal drunken squabble that should just be forgotten about and move on. Chances are, for him to react the way he did he was more drunk then he let on.

    So just dress up for him, do a little impromtu strip tease and give him a time to remember. He'll soon forget about it.

    I know I would.
     
  10. backcheck64

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    Just how old are you guys? My wife and I were out 3 out of 4 weekends a month till we were close to 30. We were out of town at friends in St Louis or at the Lake of the Ozarks, hit bars, concerts, etc. We then decided to have kids, then we slowed down a bit, not we are on the road most every weekend with hockey. But we've never turned down sex for anything, but we also never got sloppy drunk...in fact I've never seen her drunk in 30 yrs. We still have sex all of the time.
     
  11. runforyoulife

    runforyoulife Member

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    22 and 23.....

    I wasn't barfing drunk. To be honest... I just wasn't interested, could have cared less. That's bad, huh?. I didn't want to fuck. I had a dizzy head, a full belly, and was ready for sleep. He was super pissed, didn't even really talk to me much the next day (yesterday) although I did seduce him in the recliner and made him bend me over in it last night. The chair was perfect for just that. This made things better :D

    Yes I agree. He thinks way too in depth and can be very dramatic at times, brings other problems in.
     
  12. backcheck64

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    If he's a homebody at 23, I pity you. We were never home at that age. I can see both sides of this, but I would never turn down sex. I've done it with the flu in full bloom. You guys are awfully young to be having these types of problems. You guys need to have a long heart to heart and get this taken care of.
     
  13. CosmicEye

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    I think it was just a one time thing. Nobody is horny ALLL the time. There are just those times when your not horny. Thats cool though because the make up sex is twice as good :)
     
  14. LordOfChaos

    LordOfChaos Member

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    That was sort of mine and my ex's problem - only reversed.

    I loved going out. I love the social atmosphere of a pub, no matter what. The busy, rowdy situation of a Wetherspoons, or the quiet, intimate setting of the local... it was all good to me. Yet she hated it. A lot of that mainly due to trying for a child and her stressing that one drop of alcohol would destroy our chances, meaning that she didn't drink, got bored and wanted to go home as soon as we'd eaten, or after maybe an hour or so.

    She was only 31 when we met, so not old by any means. She hated crowds and when I invited her out with my work colleagues, she hated it because of the amount of people. Yet, when I didn't ask her if she wanted to go out with them, she complained that I never took her out. We always had to do things on our own. I'm 30 now, one year younger than she was then, and I still want to go out. Infact, I need to force myself not to go out. I'm itching to nip to the local for a couple of pints right now!

    However, when it comes to the sex after a night out, we hit a snag. She was a virgin when we met - she was 31 don't forget. She had a weird relationship with herself, which I won't go in to now. But she was never "up" for sex at the beginning. But when I was feeling frisky and she wasn't, I never forved myself on her...well, I maybe went down on her against her will...but it was only against her will because she thought it was weird, not because she didn't want me to.

    The problem I've come to realise now is that it's practically impossible for me to orgasm if I've had more than a couple of pints. This means that if I'm up for it and she isn't, no biggie, we just go to sleep. If we're both up for it, she got depressed that I didn't really fancy her and we should stop because I couldn't cum. Or, lastly, I got tired through all the thrusting and movement, she seemed to enjoy it at the time, but I had to stop, and she got depressed...blah blah blah.

    The way I see it is - if he's really that horny, just let him watch some porn and wank himself to sleep, whilst you crash out. That way you sleep, and he gets to cum. He's not wanting to "make love" or "sleep with you", all he's wanting to do is empty his balls, and possibly try something freaky because you've had a few and are maybe up for things that you wouldn't normally be up for. From a male point of view, he just needs to cum, and porn is a perfectly good vehicle for helping him along.
     
  15. xeniadraven

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    me and my OH have had this scenario many times. especially since we had children as when we do go out i get so drunk so quickly its embarassing! - i'm a cheap date apparantly lol

    instead of me just saying i'm not in the mood i have suggested that he wanks onto me and have let him finger me while he does it. in the end i tend to get horny and we have a drunken quickie then its lights out lol.

    at your age i would really get this ironed out. me and my OH have been together 12 years and he has never got moody with me over me saying i cant be bothered. he either accepts it or we do what i just explained if he's desperate for a release.
     
  16. somhairle

    somhairle Well-Known Member

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    :D I think I'm in love...................:eek
     
  17. xeniadraven

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    I'm a good girl........honest!!
     
  18. somhairle

    somhairle Well-Known Member

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    I'd say a very good girl.................:phat
     
  19. mikeh

    mikeh New Member

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    Are we married?[​IMG]
     
  20. BigB73

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    Xenia where can I find a woman like you? Hmm