[Ask a Guy] How to stop being intimidated by women

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by bt1257, Nov 9, 2011.

  1. bt1257

    bt1257 Member

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    I'm extremely intimidated by women. If I see an attractive women, I don't even go near them because I assume they don't want anything to with me. What can I do to stop this problem?
     
  2. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    go near them and find out if they don't want anything to do with you. sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it. trust me, the first few women you'll be a mess, but the more you do it the easier it'll get.
     
  3. too_thick

    too_thick Member

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    Stop masturbating
    After about a week you will be able to talk to the ones you like.Thenit will be easier from there on out.
    That worked forme
     
  4. 1hotmamma420

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    undefined
     
  5. pbs

    pbs
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    I think maybe you should stop trying to approach more "attractive" women because, if they've fixed themselves up to look great, you're probably not what they're looking for anyway. Even if you manage to get their attention for a short time, when they discover the real you, they'll move on and you'll probably get hurt.

    You might try seeking out a girl who is demonstrating the same kind of attitude that you have, maybe a bit shy, and not so confident. I think this is how you'll find a good match. If you continue to pursue great looking gals, you'll have lots of competition and she may be "high maintenance."

    I married a wallflower and couldn't be happier. I remember hearing once "she may be a wallflower at the dance, but a dandelion in the grass." Looks are great, but only skin deep.
     
  6. pbs

    pbs
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    I think maybe you should stop trying to approach more "attractive" women because, if they've fixed themselves up to look great, you're probably not what they're looking for anyway. Even if you manage to get their attention for a short time, when they discover the real you, they'll move on and you'll probably get hurt.

    You might try seeking out a girl who is demonstrating the same kind of attitude that you have, maybe a bit shy, and not so confident. I think this is how you'll find a good match. If you continue to pursue great looking gals, you'll have lots of competition and she may be "high maintenance."

    I married a wallflower and couldn't be happier. I remember hearing once "she may be a wallflower at the dance, but a dandelion in the grass," and she is. Looks are great, but only skin deep.
     
  7. Gummo

    Gummo Member

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    You can have 8 fat inches, money and "the" coveted lifestyle.......nope. Without "confidence" you have little. Keep your head up and forget about women, they will come. Do NOT be scared of women, they are the single GREATEST thing here in this world.

    They are as scared as you are, for different reasons. As horny as you are, for different reasons. Act like a man, talk like a man, be a man......there it is.


    I leave you with this: Nyxx said...


    "go near them and find out if they don't want anything to do with you. sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it. trust me, the first few women you'll be a mess, but the more you do it the easier"

    true that.
     
  8. GingerPower

    GingerPower New Member

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    Don't change anything.
    We (the good looking women) don't want you near us, let alone to talk with us. Your assumptions are correct.
    Great Job!
    ;)
     
  9. Gummo

    Gummo Member

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    Heh heh.......
     
  10. CosmicEye

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    lol.. perfect
     
  11. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    Um, just stop. It's not even something you should've started. Think about that. Instead of thinking about why you can't stop being intimidated, which you probably can't answer, think about why you started being intimidated.

    The women that are intimidating you are probably doing nothing to intimidate you, it's not them that is intimidating you, you're intimidating yourself.

    It is not a matter of chosing one woman and doing everything right to get her in bed or grow old with her or whatever you're after. Just start it out, let it work or not, and if it doesn't you an move on to the next try. Being intimidating is the only sure way to get a particular result, the result being that nothing happens.
     
  12. 1hotmamma420

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    ok since my phone doesn't want to add what I say...let's try this again!...

    Don't be scared. Watch her for a few min before you go over. Does she seem nice or stuck up? If she seems nice then go say hi. If she is nice...she will reply back. You can do it....grow some and walk over to her.
     
  13. MILF_Rider

    MILF_Rider Member

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    I must respectfully disagree a little. I've been there before I met my wife, and ANY thought put into trying to figure out what a woman is like before you actually interact is setting yourself up to convince yourself not to go over there for fear of rejection.

    If you see someone and have the reaction, before you give any thought, that you are interested - act immediately. If there is anything that signals that it's going to be a rejection, then move on and give it no further thought. Only consider yourself when assessing the outcome - instead of thinking about what she thinks of you, think about the fact that you took the initiative to introduce yourself.

    Don't assume an outcome is going to happen before it happens, you never know. Some beautiful women complain that the only guys that talk to them are cocky jerks. You never know if a beautiful woman is looking for looks as good as hers or if she's looking for someone with a kind heart and looks don't matter. You can't know that from watching from afar, you only find out from her. You can't even tell from watching who else is willing to go up to her and how she reacts.

    The point is, trying to pre-judge the likely outcome is futile. You may guess wrong, and there is no good to come from it. The only way to find out what is real is to find out from her.
     
  14. Essene

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    I've found that it isn't so much a phobia, on a scale of intimidation, of women themselves that males (and females too) cultivate... but a fear of rejection rendering them shy or timid.

    Once you get over that fear, your confidence boosts which will make you all the more attractive to the "fairer" sex.
     
  15. Alwayslearningsex

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    This is something for you to conquewr and to work on really.
    If you see an attractive woman with whom you know you have no chance of being with, or have no desire for except just finding her attractive, is it possible you will not be so intimidated?
    Talk to people in general, women included, grow from the experience, go places where you never go and meet to talk, expect rejection, but leaern from it, things get better over time. I KNOW, I was quite awkward before.
     
  16. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    It definitely is a fear of rejection. However, as an athlete, I use baseball and football analogies. A good hitter still "fails" 7 out of 10 times at bat. If you throw a football pass, three things can happen, and two of them are bad. The key is to expect to "fail" but not focus on the mistake, keep swinging, and keep throwing.

    One of the things that broke me out of being very shy around women in high school was having a friend who had no problems with women. At one point I asked him a similar question, and he told me "you're problem is that you don't try. The next time we are at a party together, watch me". And I did - and noticed he made an effort to talk to EVERY woman there, especially those he did not know. Did he get rejected? Hell yes. However, by the end of the party he always had 2 or 3 phone numbers from women who were interested in continuing to talk and date. I started trying that when I got to college, and I was very (and pleasantly) surprised at the result. As the saying goes, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you have to be willing to cast many times to catch something.

    The other suggestion I have may sound strange on a sexual forums board, but here it is. Do not approach an attractive woman with a mindset of having sex with her. Approach here as someone whom you just want them to tell you more about themselves. Do not start off by commenting on what makes them attractive to you - focus on finding out about what they are interested, what they want to talk about. One problem I see with excessive porn use by men is that it can destroy the art of become friends with a woman - you start focusing on the body and sex way too early, and either say something before the right time in the relationship, or are so wound up with the fear of "if I don't say something to make her have sex with me I have FAILED!"

    Having confidence was mentioned before in the thread, so I will just add that confidence also includes handling rejection with confidence. I have seen guys get turned down by women for a date, for a dance, or even for a response, and the guy either goes ballistic on the women or slinks/stomps away. My technique was just to smile and say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you. Have a nice day/evening", and move on confidently. More than I expected, one of two things happened: either the women would come to be at some later point in time and apologize, or another women would observe how I handled it and then approach me. Sometimes you don't know who is watching.

    Just some perhaps (too rambling) thoughts to consider. Good luck!
     
  17. backcheck64

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    It's simple, stop giving a fuck. Approach anyone you like, if you get shot down, who cares. Get over this intimidation by just doing it. What do you have to lose? You're not getting any right now so you're chances are 0. If you at least talk to them....chances are better than 0. Even if you wind up on the 0 end...you're no worse than what you are now.
     
  18. wht1zzfe

    wht1zzfe New Member

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    Yes! the shotgun method! eventually you'll hit something!
     
  19. hedonyguy

    hedonyguy New Member

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    hey, just don't let your mind takes control over your wishes: ~Think that very pretty/sexy/attractive woman are like the best apples in a tree, they are way up there, they feel lonely, and no one can climb enough to get them. If you do and keep climbing they will come to you to "see" who you are.~
     
  20. DatCronCron

    DatCronCron New Member

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    Mentally you need to say I'm the shit. its as simple as that. your energy and body language say more then you do in a conversation.