how to please your lady?

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by p00shy, Sep 1, 2007.

  1. p00shy

    p00shy New Member

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    My gf doesnt really enjoy me eating her out but i like to do it. men and women of SF, i need your help.

    could you lend me some advice/tips/strategies on how to change her mind and eventually blow it.:bow:bow:bow:bow:bow
     
  2. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Don't watch porn and try to imitate them.
    They have to show the pussy being stimulated
    so they just flick their tongue over the clit real fast.
    I like to start with a lot of teasing. Kissing around her pussy
    then run your tongue the whole length of her Pussy, Rear to front.
    then if she has prominent inner labia suck them completely into your mouth
    as hard as you can while rubbing your entire face against her pussy.
    also insert your tongue as far into her as you can.
    when she cums lay off for a minute and start again very easily
    and do it again.
    In other words dive in face first and eat it.
    Don't forger to shave or she will end up being mince meat.

    Hiker
     
  3. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    Tell her she's missing out on the best part ;)
     
  4. cbrmale

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    It's probably not a pleasure thing, some women regard their genitals as 'dirty'. If not the urination and menstruation aspect then Western Christian society generally regards sex as dirty, and genitals fit into this general scenario.

    First up, set the scene before sex. Talk about how this is a normal and natural part of sex, and how intimate and pleasurable it will be for both of you. If she is religious, remind her that God gave us sex for pleasure, and this is just taking pleasure to another and very special level. Also suggest that you will shower together immediately before sex. If she is receptive to all this, you should be okay. If not, what worked for me was to hire some sex education dvds for couples (actually they were videos when I last did this, but the story is the same). I see that Nina Hartley has some dvds around, but they are too porn-like for me, the ones I hired had the theme 'ordinary couples, extraordinary sex'. What opened my wife's eyes was normal everyday couples getting into these things as routine sex, and once she watched the first one it seemed like she couldn't wait.

    This all presupposes you know what you are doing, and haven't done it before when you've hurt her. Women are sensitive down there, some more than others, and you have to learn to read body language to do oral right. What works for one partner may be too hard or too soft for another, no two women are close to being the same. Oral sex is a challenge, but the best technique is to concentrate on her clit, start lightly, and keep well in tune with her response. If light isn't getting you anywhere, brush it harder. If she stiffens or tries to pull away, you've probably going too hard. The other thing is some women like you to start soft, and as they get aroused they want you to go harder. They will arch their backs and squirm around as a sign for you to read. The latter are rare, generally you find the right place and right pressure and it will work every time thereon.

    I hope this helps.
     
  5. Dreama

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    I, for one, am very self conscious when it comes to this, and cannot fully enjoy it, unless I know I have had a full cleaning session. I'm not that big of a fan, though I do admit it feels good. I'm just not that into it, I guess. I'm way more comfortable with giving blowjobs than I am accepting oral.
     
  6. Barbwire

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    How old is your g/f? How long has she been sexually active? Does she masturbate to orgasm?
     
  7. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Not everyone enjoys everything. You and I, as guys, can't even begin to comprehend how a woman would not like a guy licking her clit and tongue fucker her, but, just accept she doesn't like it and forget about it. I gave my wife one of the most earth shattering orgasms she's ever head, her words, but, she just doesn't like it for the most part. She'll let you do it once in awhile or just catch in the right mood and enjoy it when you can.

    Just don't look at it in terms of 'getting' her to like it. She will on her terms, maybe. Press it and she won't at all.
     
  8. Bluesy

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    I'm with LP. When you push, people pull away...you only succeed in making them even more reluctant to do whatever it is you're trying to get them to do. (And if a person "caves", you jeopardize the relationship by creating a passive/aggressive dynamic whereupon she harbors resentment, and somehow, some way, you'll pay for putting all that pressure on her.) If she doesn't feel comfortable with it, you're not going to be the one to help her overcome her cunnilingus issues. Only a counselor can do that. She may come around to it in time, but it has to be when she's ready.

    Have you even asked her why she doesn't enjoy it? Maybe it's your technique. Maybe she doesn't know how to tell you what to do differently and you'd benefit by doing some research on cunnilingus and discovering what a multitude of ways there are to do it. What works for one woman doesn't necessarily work for them all.
     
  9. cbrmale

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    I tend to agree with Bluesy, you can't push a woman into something she isn't comfortable with. The breakthrough with my wife came about from unusual circumstances, which made her more open to my request for her to broaden her sexual horizons. Now I do oral on her almost every single time. It is very intimate, and once she cleared her head she really got into enjoying it too.

    If you haven't pushed the situation too hard yet, talking it through once as I suggested may help. If that doesn't work, you may well have to give up for now.
     
  10. Bluesy

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    I hope I didn't give the wrong impression...I'm not at all against discussing it with her before letting the subject go. Maybe if he asked her about it, why she thinks it makes her so uncomfortable (and I envision initiating such a convo with a concerned, caring kind of tone), she may really open up and learn some things about herself, which might help change her attitude.
     
  11. tall_dallas

    tall_dallas New Member

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    I'll say this for my $0.02

    1. Keep your face shaven (or get your beard / mustache out enough it's not stubbly)

    2. If you really don't like her taste, smell, feel, etc. when your down there... It's going to be noticable.
    If you really do enjoy it. Then you have to savor it. Make her feel like she's the best thing you've ever tasted.

    3. Take your time... It's not always about the "O" ... It's more about the development up to it. and teasing that "O" state. get her almost there then let up a little. Do taht over and over a few times and when you actually get her there, she'll need a pillow over her face to keep from waking up the neighbors.

    4. It's NOT all about the clit. The clit is a great way to get her to "O" VERY quickly. but that's not all that going down on her is about. It's more to make her feel great over a period of time.

    5. Not all women like to "O" via oral.
    Get her almost there then go into normal sex... My wife likes to squeeze me when i'm inside of her and she loves for me to take my time to maker her first "O" well worth the effort.

    6. Kiss those lips!
    You should go around all the lips. she should be wet all over and you can't mis a square inch. suck on the lips a little... not hard. jsut enough to give a sensation. It's not like a porn-o ... your not trying to make her "O" or make it look good on camera... your trying to make her feel good. isnt' that what it's all about?
     
  12. Mr.Tongue

    Mr.Tongue New Member

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    also my wife like the flat of my tongue, not just the tip. make like a hound dog.
    sucking on the inner thiegh really helps her get going too.
     
  13. cbrmale

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    Having a triple-figure number of lovers in the past, I find it best not to be prescriptive about oral sex! Every woman is different, very different. So what worked for my wife didn't work for my ex-mistress, while my former girlfriends were different again and so on.

    Some girls like their clit to be licked gently and regularly, some like it firmly, some like their clit to be rolled and sucked and beaten with the tongue and for their partner to really get into it in a big way (and I loved girls who were like that)! Some respond to g-spot pressure at the same time, some not; some like nipple stimulation at the same time, some not.

    The two things any man needs to know is that every woman is different and how to read her body. Her body language will tell any experienced lover all he needs to know to take his partner to orgasmic pleasure through oral sex.
     
  14. rickk1

    rickk1 Banned

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    Give her your million dollars...lol
     
  15. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    That was about my first thought.:brow
     
  16. Clark

    Clark Member

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    hmmm....

    how to convince a woman to change her mind...

    ...

    yeah....

    good luck with that.
     
  17. music2mahsoul

    music2mahsoul New Member

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    make her feel relaxed and calm,
    don't force her if she doesn't want to...

    talk her into into it...tease her, love her, seduce her hehehe ;)
     
  18. sgman

    sgman New Member

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    I so glad my wife loves it so we're both happy but I went with a girl a long time ago that thought her pussy looked odd. It did not look odd to me but she thought and that's what counted. Anyway...She could not stand to know I was so up close with it and it prevented her from enjoying getting head.